Does anyone feel as if they need to have a sexual experience with someone of the same sex to make sure it’s just an obsession? I fell down this rabbit how of late in life lesbians and now I feel like throwing up. I identify as asexual, as in I feel sexual attraction very very rarely, but I keep reading about lesbians who also identified as ace before having sex with girls. I know that it’s different for me because I’m genuinely never been sexually attracted to anyone, regardless of gender, but now my brain is full of ‘what ifs’? One of the stories I read mentioned that if you need to look up signs of being gay, it probably means you are and that only scared me more.

js94

Date posted: 5y

Me too. So I feel guilty being with a girl if I have these feelings

Pink Dinosaur

Date posted: 5y

Yeah. :/ I have very strong feelings for a guy rn but I don’t want to act on them out of guilt .

10lewis10

Date posted: 5y

When the thoughts go then you know what you want. This past week has been good and I can think clearly and I want women and I love it I’m a guy btw. When ocd spikes I then have doubts and question but when you get that day where you think clear which is very rare I know you know yourself so don’t let ocd destroy you

js94

Date posted: 5y

No I deal with the same thing. How will u know if u r not gay if u don't try it. Yet I don't want to so it's an internal dilemma.

Pink Dinosaur

Date posted: 5y

I’m worried that if I try it I’ll be aroused, even though the thought has never excited me before

lms2000

Date posted: 5y

yes i totally get this. i know someone who came out as a lesbian after being married to a man and she said she didn’t know that she wasn’t enjoying sex and that she was disassociating until she had sex with a woman and everything became clear. so who knows lol. it’s like even if i had sex with a man and liked it i would feel like i just didn’t know what it COULD be

10lewis10

Date posted: 5y

Yh but the problem is she didn’t question it like us do, we fear I bet she didn’t fear I bet it was like oh shit that makes sense with us we trying to see we like it and we struggle because we clearly don’t but ocd fucks with us. Ocd tried to makes us like it but our sexuality are like wtf you doing freak lol

Pink Dinosaur

Date posted: 5y

What’s terrifying me is the comment about “if you need to look up if your gay, then you probably are.” I know deep down that if I was gay, I’d probably still be anxious but I’d be certain about it. The way I am when I know that I’m ace. I don’t like it but I try to deny it but I’m certain about it.

lms2000

Date posted: 5y

@Pink Dinosaur the majority of people don’t understand ocd and don’t take it into consideration when they make posts like that! actual experts and mental health professionals know what you’re experiencing and have evidence for it. you don’t have to listen to people who don’t know anything about your experience ?

Pink Dinosaur

Date posted: 5y

@lms2000 The thing is that the last time I told a therapist, she dismissed me, saying that I’m young and sexual confusion is normal. I didn’t know how to express the distress and the length of my compulsions.

10lewis10

Date posted: 5y

@Pink Dinosaur People without ocd don’t stress this much about it, people in denial know they are but deny it we all try to see if we do but struggle because we know we don’t and that’s the conflict between ocd and our sexuality. Your sexuality like opposite but fights with ocd which says you like the same

lms2000

Date posted: 5y

@Pink Dinosaur therapists have done the same thing to me. it’s really hard. we just have to trust the experts on ocd.

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