I know this might be reassurance seeking but how do I KNOW it’s just ROCD. I feel so strongly like I need to break up w my bf and that I’d be happier if I was alone but I also know that’s just me wanting to get rid of the anxiety not necessarily get rid of him. But my mind keeps telling me I’m lying to myself and I don’t actually love him and it all feels so real and true. I don’t get what I’m supposed to do. I just wanna feel how I felt when I wasn’t anxious and I was so happy with him.

But how do I know

@ahazlett You don’t. That’s the whole point. There is nothing you or anyone can say or do that will make you “know”. I have ROCD too and I struggle with the exact same issue. Is it really ROCD? Am I just pretending? Am I ignoring a gut feeling? But that never got me anywhere and I’m sure the same is true for you. There’s no way to know. Just accept it. Maybe it is, maybe it’s not. Let the anxiety sit, let the anxiety pass.

@NR2020 I’ll be honest this whole thread just gave me a panic attack because I started thinking oh god do I wanna break up with him for real? But I know you’re right and that makes sense

@ahazlett Yup been there, done that. Then I think, well if he truly was “the one” and I really loved him, I wouldn’t have any anxiety at all. But that’s a trap. I know how it feels, believe me. I’m right there with ya. But just breathe through it.

@NR2020 I’m about to cry. It helps so much that someone gets it. That’s literally exactly what I’ve been telling myself these last couple days “if it was true love and I really wanted him I wouldn’t be anxious at all and I’d feel sure”

@ahazlett I know. For a long time, I thought it was just me. People told me that “I worry too much” and to “stop overthinking”. But if it was that simple, we would do it right? It wouldn’t cause so much effin distress. But try to not indulge in it. Just say “yup. Maybe I wanna break up with him. He’s prob not the one. Cool”. And then do your very best to not ruminate anymore. It’s not gonna feel great. But you’ll teach your brain something new. Sit with it. Breathe through it. Let it pass.

@NR2020 I’ll definitely try this. Are you still with your boyfriend now? Does this really help?

@ahazlett Yes I am. I’m still working on it myself. I had an episode yesterday and couldn’t stop crying. And he was supportive as usual which almost makes it worse cuz then I feel guilty for even having the thoughts about someone so great. But, it’s the ROCD, it will pass. I’m starting therapy with a NOCD therapist this week. Are you seeing someone?

@NR2020 My boyfriend is so supportive as well he’s awesome. I’ve seen a therapist on and off but never consistently. It’s so scary to me

@ahazlett It’s scary to me too. Makes me feel like I’m crazy lol. Also if you haven’t, watch videos by Nathan Peterson, a LCSW in OCD. He has a few specifically on ROCD. It really helped me.

@NR2020 I’ll check him out!