Hi I’ve been on this app for a little while and I have a question about HOCD if any sufferers can help me. I’ve tried googling this aspect of it far and wide and I seem to get no results. I’m already positive I have HOCD considering most of my life I have had pure O, which manifested into HOCD as I got older. I’m not going to go into full detail because I’m sure you all know what HOCD is, but it’s traumatic to say the least. I show every single symptom, but there is something else I experience that I haven’t seen anywhere and I wanted to know if anyone else with HOCD could relate. Not only does my HOCD impact my mind, but now I feel like it is changing me on the outside. Right now I’m wearing a PLAIN BROWN LONG SLEEVE SHIRT and I have somehow convinced myself that it’s gay and now I want to take it off. I can say this about nearly everything in my closet. I love this top; I think it is so flattering and comfy. I don’t WANT to change. But I feel like I should. I don’t feel comfy rolling up my hoodie sleeves for the same reason. There are countless fashion triggers for me: wearing too much eyeliner, wearing cargo/wide leg jeans, putting my hands in my pockets, wearing my hair slicked back, bandanas, keeping my nails unpainted...I could go on ALL DAY. I know exactly how my HOCD was first triggered though, so I guess it’s good so I can get to the root of the issue. I’m the oldest child in my family (I’m a teen girl btw), and I just sort of felt weird talking to my parents about boys I liked. Little did they know I was/am boy crazy, but I never felt there was a need for me to bring it up unless one of them showed interest in me. While I liked tons of boys, there was always one who I had a crush on who was a family friend, and my mom would always tease me about it, so I assumed she knew about him, and I jokingly played it off every time. Then the one day I made it more obvious she said “Oh you really like him? Oh thank goodness I thought you were gay. Not that it’s a bad thing I would always support you honey, but I want grandchildren lol.” And this never left my head. Now I will constantly tell my mom what actors I find hot and I will never leave it alone. The comment really bothered me, although I know she meant no harm; it made me think people could’ve thought I was gay, which made me feel icky. To be clear, I am not homophobic in the slightest. I have a few friends who r LGBTQ+, but I knew it wasn’t me, and it felt like her comment forced an identity upon me that I didn’t want, but convinced myself I had. From here, the compulsions started and u can guess the cycle from here. It didn’t help a same sex friend of mine came out to me the day before Coronavirus lockdown, and I told her I was so proud of her and then she said, “well like I’m bi but only for...some people...” and then she assumed I was also Bi, which I don’t think she realized, but worsened my mental state so much. I also realize it’s disrespectful to assume your LGBT friends like you, but then I realized how much she had been complimenting me. She never dished out compliments. She would always say I was so pretty, I should model, and she would often make sexual comments about me as well but k thought of it as like “hyping up a friend” and never realized it like that. I have this shirt from urban outfitters that has these little skeletons on it and I just thought it was a cute top, until one day she said “oooo that shirt give me like ‘I’d f*ck her in the morning vibes’”. I never thought much of it, but I haven’t worn the shirt since; I can’t bring myself to. I wasn’t even good friends with her, as she went to my school, left, and came back. From here, it has just been a downward spiral, but sometimes it just stops and I feel free again, but then it comes knocking once more. Anyways, both these encounters triggered my HOCD and caused a spiral in my compulsions. But, the point of this was to ask if/how to get over the fashion anxieties/anxieties that are associated w HOCD. I obviously didn’t tell my whole story here, but it comes with a lot of mental trauma following these incidents. Sorry for the long sob story but can anyone let me know if these fashion anxieties are normal/how to treat them??? Thanks!!!