Does anyone else feel like when their moving around or doing something their doing it "gay" like I'd be walking but my heads like your walking "gayly" and it makes me feel physicaly gay if you know what I mean.

Yeh that's what I mean! And yes i know it's not but its just how i feel i dunno how to describe it. Whatever I do I feel like I'm acting gay I guess it's what I mean.

@Messed up The idea that you're moving in a gay way is a cognition, not a feeling :) I make the distinction because I find it a really helpful way to break down what's happening in the cycle and identifying what I can do about it. We can't control intrusive feelings or intrusive thoughts which are paired with feelings, but we CAN prevent adding any additional thoughts or compulsions to it, and instead process the emotional component by identifying it. "Feeling physically gay" can be separated into *noticing/having the idea that perhaps I'm moving in an effeminate way* (the trigger), "that could mean I'm gay" (the intrusive thought) and *now feeling anxious and ashamed* (the uncomfortable feelings). After that, mental compulsions may begin, like analysing or rumination, trying to work out whether it's a sign of real gayness or arguing against that idea, etc. Processing the feelings (letting them come and go again) when you have the intrusive thought, instead of doing those mental compulsions, can both make it MUCH easier to have the intrusive thought without doing analysis, AND over time can prevent a trigger like noticing something about your movements from causing the intrusive thought at all. The noticing is pretty much automatic and random just like for everyone without OCD. Once you have OCD, your brain is on high alert for triggers so you can notice things like that way more often. Alternatively, you may actually be going about your day deliberately paying attention to/monitoring your movements just in case anything about them is relevant to your obsession. That would actually be a compulsion which it's within your power to quit, through mindfully redirecting your attention. You probably are aware that you've got some black and white automatic thinking going on here where your brain is turning the possibility that you're e.g. "not chopping this tomato like a 6'6" lumberjack might" into something about your sexuality. It's good to be aware of the fact that the way people move isn't a reliable indicator of their sexuality, but at the same time important not to use that to try to shout your anxiety down. If you let the anxiety happen and quit the worrying, you can process the feeling until it leaves and then you'll be free to insert a much more sensible assessment of the situation and move on from the trigger.

@Scoggy You already know that you don't need to know whether your movements are effeminate or not, because you know that's not a good indicator of sexuality and therefore has no relevance either way. So the urges to try to figure it out and relate it back to your obsession/other "evidence" are best dealt with by not acting on them and staying with your anxiety instead until it's gone, or gone down a ton.