My cisgender OCD (telling me I’m not trans) is back for the first time since I did my full course of gender-OCD-focused ERP. It hurts. It makes it harder to have a healthy relationship with my body, a healthy sense of self, respect for all I’ve done to get as far as I’ve gotten as a transgender woman. I can really feel the difference the ERP made in the severity of symptoms and in how I handle them, and yet here I am again, dealing with obsessive and intrusive thoughts that I’m really a man. I wish more people understood just how painful this is.

Thank you so much for reaching out & saying this, for real. It really made me fucking happy - I was emotionally exhausted in the days after making this post, so I didn’t respond to anyone, but I want you to know that. Finding anyone else with cis OCD is so rare, and to have some role in helping someone realize they have cis OCD - I mean it’s an honor, really. We *need* to find each other. We need to write resources l, make it known in trans circles that this is a thing. One of the trans people I’ve met who told me about mental patterns that sounded *exactly* like OCD didn’t think of herself as having OCD at all. The official OCD treatment world hasn’t even transitioned out of typing all sexuality/gender OCD in terms of “homosexual OCD,” as though cis straight people are the only human beings in the universe.

@Vieira da $$$ilva???? I wish we could “friend” each other! I suppose they don’t want social cliques forming. But we’ll see each other around in the pure-O areas of the app. I’ll be happy to discuss how you’re doing whenever you see fit to post about it. :3

@Vieira da $$$ilva???? thank you so much for replying!!! like you said finding somebody with cis-ocd can be so rare and i’ve never found someone i relate to until now. i never even thought of the possiblity of me having cis-ocd before i saw this post because i’d never seen it anywhere. i think it definitely should be talked about more - for example if an article online mentions hocd, it could talk about the fear of being straight as well as lgbt. and ikr, i wish you could friend people lmao. the only other way i could would be like... insta or something lmao. thanks for reaching out, i’ll definitely be posting about it more

@cole Let’s both post about it more! Hell, I’ve thought of writing about it.

I’m a gay woman myself my cis OCD is often straight OCD too - telling me that because I’m attracted to women that makes me a straight man. Other times it’ll tell me that I’m a gay man, just effeminate rather than being a woman. Being in the discussion section on this app has helped by putting me into contact with people with gay & straight OCD, cis & trans OCD. Still, I wish I met other people with cis OCD more than occasionally - but it has helped. We *can* get through this, yeah. We will.