- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
i didn’t know cis-OCD was a thing and i think i’ve just realised that’s what i’m experiencing, omg. ik that ocd can have a lot of personalised themes that aren’t very wide-spread but it never clicked with me that i could have cis-OCD. i’m trans, and i convinced myself for the longest time that i had trans-OCD, yet it always confused me because people with tOCD were always scared that they were trans, yet i was always scared of being cis. for the longest time i didn’t think that i was actually transgender, and i was so scared that after ERP i’d find out that i was actually cis. so actually thank you for posting this oml. i’ve never actually come across someone who i related to in that sense.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you so much for reaching out & saying this, for real. It really made me fucking happy - I was emotionally exhausted in the days after making this post, so I didn’t respond to anyone, but I want you to know that. Finding anyone else with cis OCD is so rare, and to have some role in helping someone realize they have cis OCD - I mean it’s an honor, really. We *need* to find each other. We need to write resources l, make it known in trans circles that this is a thing. One of the trans people I’ve met who told me about mental patterns that sounded *exactly* like OCD didn’t think of herself as having OCD at all. The official OCD treatment world hasn’t even transitioned out of typing all sexuality/gender OCD in terms of “homosexual OCD,” as though cis straight people are the only human beings in the universe.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Vieira da $$$ilva???? I wish we could “friend” each other! I suppose they don’t want social cliques forming. But we’ll see each other around in the pure-O areas of the app. I’ll be happy to discuss how you’re doing whenever you see fit to post about it. :3
- Date posted
- 5y
@Vieira da $$$ilva???? thank you so much for replying!!! like you said finding somebody with cis-ocd can be so rare and i’ve never found someone i relate to until now. i never even thought of the possiblity of me having cis-ocd before i saw this post because i’d never seen it anywhere. i think it definitely should be talked about more - for example if an article online mentions hocd, it could talk about the fear of being straight as well as lgbt. and ikr, i wish you could friend people lmao. the only other way i could would be like... insta or something lmao. thanks for reaching out, i’ll definitely be posting about it more
- Date posted
- 5y
@cole Let’s both post about it more! Hell, I’ve thought of writing about it.
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi ! I am suffering from this as well and it is really the worst form of OCD I dealt with ( I’m a straight cisgender woman ) . I hate waking up because my anxiety has destroyed my sex drive and when I wake up my OCD tells me I’m a man trapped in a woman’s body but I’ve always loved being a woman and I still do . ERP has helped me so my obsessions change atleast 20 times a day to try and convince me I hate being a woman . For anyone cis or trans etc our gender indentities define us so OCD attacks us . For me I just start allowing the thoughts and welcoming them and because of ERP allowing them makes me realize the absurdity of their existence. It’s horrible but there is light at the end of the tunnel for us OCD suffers ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
I had a major relapse this week as well, but my ERP techniques have been keeping me a little more grounded and hopeful for the future. I hope you're able to get through this attack soon. Stay strong and know that we're all here with you.
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm a cisgendered female going through tocd and socd. Sometimes I'm scared that I'm actually a straight male, other times I feel like a gay woman. Both are extremely stressful. I'm sorry that you're struggling and I hope we can all get through this.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m a gay woman myself my cis OCD is often straight OCD too - telling me that because I’m attracted to women that makes me a straight man. Other times it’ll tell me that I’m a gay man, just effeminate rather than being a woman. Being in the discussion section on this app has helped by putting me into contact with people with gay & straight OCD, cis & trans OCD. Still, I wish I met other people with cis OCD more than occasionally - but it has helped. We *can* get through this, yeah. We will.
- Date posted
- 3y
I have cis ocd too how to recover from it pls tell me
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I cant do anything anymore without my brain dregdging up proof from my past that I was actually trans and didn't know it, and it all seems so plausible. like I said in my last post its unearthing memories that I didn't even know I have. ik this is just ocd tricking me but I feel like I need to review every moment thoroughly bc I have questioned my gender in the past but always concluded that'd I'd happier as a girl (which is true). everything feels so real and it feels like I am just super in denial. also, how do I tell people about this? I made the mistake of confessing to a teacher on a note and only a couple friends of mine understand the thoughts I get, but I don't tell them everything. however its very hard for me to do basic responsibilities like school work and I always end up overwhelmed, so I'm thinking I may need accomdations. I need to get in touch with my counselor but i'm unsure how to explain all of this to her, being that I don't have a diagnosis....also I feel like I can't talk about this with the majority of my friends because gender ocd is rare to have (increasing my doubts) and, at least school-wise, i'm in very accepting environment for lgbtq and I'm afraid they're just gonna tell me to accept myself. I'm scared of doing erp for this because what if I like it (also cant afford therapy). ive also felt very apprehensive around some of my trans friends and classmates because my brain is going crazy asking "what if you're like them?" and I feel so bad and transphobic for these thoughts. i'm genuinely so tired. one of my closest friends died last year, but my father pointed out that my recent mood has been even worse than it was during that time. i tend to bottle up my emotions a lot, so everyone's just telling me to "let it go" and tell people, but if I do that I feel like i'll end up confessing. i'm so tired and lost.
- Date posted
- 22w
I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.
- Date posted
- 21w
Struggling with TOCD has probably been the hardest theme I’ve had to deal with so far For reference. I’m a gay male 20yr old Before this theme I was so open with my gender expression, love drag and used to do it for a time. A lot of my friends are trans women and my whole life is queer When this theme hit. It’s like I completely lost who I was. Questioning everything I enjoyed, not participating in anything because it triggered me so heavily. I went through a whole gender journey awhile back and the trans path never spoke to me when I looked into it. I love my physique and my face but now when I look into the mirror i feel like a shell of who I was. I can’t find any sort of pure enjoyment without the accompanying “what if” or “you’re this” intrusive thought I still enjoy how I look. I’ve not looked in the mirror and felt like anything is missing from me or needs to be taken away I just feel like a spectator in my life while this disease tells me I’m not who I know myself to be I affirm myself every day I know who I am and it may change in the future but that’s not important. It’s highly unlikely it will but it may! Giving into the uncertainty has been so hard but it’s worth it! My ocd has really picked up since getting into my first serious relationship I care about my boyfriend with my whole heart but over the course of our relationship my themes have included Health Relationship Irreality Harm I just want to be who I was again before this current theme it feels unbearable to live like this BUT! I’m seeking appropriate treatment and not giving into a majority of compulsions I just wanted to write this to see if anyone can relate and if they do. Know that you will overcome this! I know I will and you will too
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