- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
i didn’t know cis-OCD was a thing and i think i’ve just realised that’s what i’m experiencing, omg. ik that ocd can have a lot of personalised themes that aren’t very wide-spread but it never clicked with me that i could have cis-OCD. i’m trans, and i convinced myself for the longest time that i had trans-OCD, yet it always confused me because people with tOCD were always scared that they were trans, yet i was always scared of being cis. for the longest time i didn’t think that i was actually transgender, and i was so scared that after ERP i’d find out that i was actually cis. so actually thank you for posting this oml. i’ve never actually come across someone who i related to in that sense.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you so much for reaching out & saying this, for real. It really made me fucking happy - I was emotionally exhausted in the days after making this post, so I didn’t respond to anyone, but I want you to know that. Finding anyone else with cis OCD is so rare, and to have some role in helping someone realize they have cis OCD - I mean it’s an honor, really. We *need* to find each other. We need to write resources l, make it known in trans circles that this is a thing. One of the trans people I’ve met who told me about mental patterns that sounded *exactly* like OCD didn’t think of herself as having OCD at all. The official OCD treatment world hasn’t even transitioned out of typing all sexuality/gender OCD in terms of “homosexual OCD,” as though cis straight people are the only human beings in the universe.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Vieira da $$$ilva???? I wish we could “friend” each other! I suppose they don’t want social cliques forming. But we’ll see each other around in the pure-O areas of the app. I’ll be happy to discuss how you’re doing whenever you see fit to post about it. :3
- Date posted
- 5y
@Vieira da $$$ilva???? thank you so much for replying!!! like you said finding somebody with cis-ocd can be so rare and i’ve never found someone i relate to until now. i never even thought of the possiblity of me having cis-ocd before i saw this post because i’d never seen it anywhere. i think it definitely should be talked about more - for example if an article online mentions hocd, it could talk about the fear of being straight as well as lgbt. and ikr, i wish you could friend people lmao. the only other way i could would be like... insta or something lmao. thanks for reaching out, i’ll definitely be posting about it more
- Date posted
- 5y
@cole Let’s both post about it more! Hell, I’ve thought of writing about it.
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi ! I am suffering from this as well and it is really the worst form of OCD I dealt with ( I’m a straight cisgender woman ) . I hate waking up because my anxiety has destroyed my sex drive and when I wake up my OCD tells me I’m a man trapped in a woman’s body but I’ve always loved being a woman and I still do . ERP has helped me so my obsessions change atleast 20 times a day to try and convince me I hate being a woman . For anyone cis or trans etc our gender indentities define us so OCD attacks us . For me I just start allowing the thoughts and welcoming them and because of ERP allowing them makes me realize the absurdity of their existence. It’s horrible but there is light at the end of the tunnel for us OCD suffers ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
I had a major relapse this week as well, but my ERP techniques have been keeping me a little more grounded and hopeful for the future. I hope you're able to get through this attack soon. Stay strong and know that we're all here with you.
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm a cisgendered female going through tocd and socd. Sometimes I'm scared that I'm actually a straight male, other times I feel like a gay woman. Both are extremely stressful. I'm sorry that you're struggling and I hope we can all get through this.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m a gay woman myself my cis OCD is often straight OCD too - telling me that because I’m attracted to women that makes me a straight man. Other times it’ll tell me that I’m a gay man, just effeminate rather than being a woman. Being in the discussion section on this app has helped by putting me into contact with people with gay & straight OCD, cis & trans OCD. Still, I wish I met other people with cis OCD more than occasionally - but it has helped. We *can* get through this, yeah. We will.
- Date posted
- 3y
I have cis ocd too how to recover from it pls tell me
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
- Date posted
- 19w
Finally slept well today! Which is nice. Regardless, I feel like it has destroyed who I am. Its been over a year and a half, and I keep overthinking and questioning my identity and I can’t let it go to the point where I feel that my future is certain, even though I’ve liked myself the entire time and had a pretty stable idea of who I was. My mind has gathered enough proof. I love being a woman, and I don’t want a different body. I wasn’t born in the wrong body. I am obsessing over my voice, which needs no changes, and my chest. After speaking to a friend of a friend, I’m afraid I’ll want a sex change when I finally have a partner. I’m terrified. I don’t know if anyone can relate. I don’t know how to get over this and my first ERP session is in about a week. How do I even go about this? I feel like a monster to my own family.
- Date posted
- 8w
I don't usually post on here because it could end up becoming a compulsion or could be seen as reassurance seeking but I think I just need a place to vent and to also get some encouragement and peer support. I am really struggling with my intrusive thoughts and feelings today. All of it feels extremely real and convincing. Right now, I feel thoroughly convinced that I have already identified as either a lesbian or bisexual. I have been diagnosed with OCD by both a psychiatrist and a psychologist years ago and I still feel convinced that it isn't OCD. I keep feeling as if I am just using OCD as a cover-up / as an excuse to deny my “actual” sexual orientation / to hide the “fact that I'm actually lesbian / bisexual”. I have been practicing ERP whenever my schedule allows but it's tough... ERP typically works for me but on days like today, it doesn't seem to be working and that makes me doubt if I have OCD or not. At the same time, I am also convinced that ERP isn't working and I am secretly in denial / struggle with comphet / have internalised homophobia (which makes it worse because my family is homophobic and most of my intrusive thoughts have been targeting that / using that as evidence). Feeling really scared and hopeless... 😞
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