Hello! I want to introduce myself, I am Pamela. I am currently pregnant 28 weeks. I have developed Harm OCD with myself and others. and I feel as if I have Pure OCD as well. I felt as though I was getting better but the thoughts have came back and they seem a lot more scarier. I feel like I can’t do this pregnancy thing and the whole family thing. I just recently quit my job because I can’t get adequate sleep at night anymore and My anxiety is soooo bad all the time, especially at work. I am also struggling with being afraid of developing what mental illness my mother had. I have been afraid of being possessed by a demon because I KNOW this isn’t me. I have always been scared of those kinds of things anyway, I had watched something with Jeffery Duhmer and a few other things and now I have been worried what if I’m like him , I used to think how could someone do those kinds of things and now I’m thinking what if I want to do those things?? what if I have no emotion? I haven’t been able to cry lately, i feel sort of numb and that also scares me because normally I would cry over a movie, or something silly. I want to cry, I want to be genuinely happy and I want to feel the way I did before I developed this terrible illness. I feel crazy to be even talking about my thoughts, and I feel stupid . I have started Zoloft maybe a month and a half ago and I am also worried that the medicine isn’t working properly and is making me worse. I haven’t stopped taking it but I definitely have thought about it. But I’m also worried that if I do stop taking it my anxiety and depression will get worse. Here lately I have been feeling like I will never get better and I just want to die, I have been wanting to birth this baby and just give her to my boyfriend and then go away , I don’t know where I’d go but I feel as though I don’t deserve to be here anymore. Im so tired , like exhausted but I keep pushing like I’m not. I keep pretending that I am happy. I don’t know what to do or where to start. Please someone help me in what I need to do to begin my journey, even though I’m completely and utterly terrified to do just about anything because I’m scared of triggering these thoughts , or even new ones .. Please I am really not looking for reassurance, I just wanted to share what I personally have been going threw, and I want options on what I should begin with to get better ?

Hey all, This is so strange to share this, and I have been judged by others and misdiagnosed many times. About a year ago I worked with an OCD therapist and it was really triggering. For me my thoughts are mainly about suicidal ocd and harm ocd centered around my children of all things. Fear that I could or would want to hurt them, then feeling so horrible that I believe I’m suicidal then I go back and forth on that. After reading a few of your posts, it makes me truly have a bit of hope that I can overcome this.

At this point I think I’m just tired. Took me a massive amount of strength to even type this. I’ve never had it this bad with anxiety depression and OCD. Firstly, how do you guys handle the trauma that comes with OCD. I recently realized Ive traumatized by own mind. I think this contributes to depression. Also, the thoughts frequency have gotten so high. It just literally jams its self in my brain. Before, I had some sort of control (at least a grip) but this days it’s so hard to try to get a grip. The unwanted feelings too? Omg, reactions that I literally can’t stand plagues me. My mind turns almost everything sexual. It’s crazy 🙃 Then the anxietyyyyyy! Wheew. I’m like a walking anxiety attack, my heart is always beating fast and it’s so painful. Working is so hard because I can’t get a grip, I feel so broken and I don’t think anyone can relate to this. I don’t know what I can do to help. Then the pressure in my head (that causes headache sometimes), sometimes I genuinely think I have a tumor! I’m pregnant so that makes it sadder, makes me wonder what kind of mother this beautiful soul is coming out here to meet. I don’t want to be a sad mother, and I cry more when I realize my child can feel what I feel rn in my belly😔. Another thing, the moment I don’t wanna do something, doesn’t even have to be anything bad. That’s when it feels my mind wants to force me to do it. It’s a whole lot and I’m just holding on to Jesus to help me out. At least he’s here so that’s comforting.

Hi, I’m new to the app as of today. I’m 20 years old, and wanted to get some stuff off my chest about the types of OCD I’ve been experiencing over the years. I’m not entirely sure how or when my OCD was brought up, but I’ve been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember. Anywhere and everywhere I go, if I see things placed in an order/angle that my brain doesn’t approve of, next thing I know I’m “fixing” it to be in the placement I feel looks better. I’m not aware of why I feel the need to do that, but until an object is in the “right” placement, I won’t take my eyes off of it. My eye will even twitch. Another form of OCD I have is in relationships. I spend each day overthinking and over-analyzing every one of the relationships that are important to me. Friends, family, significant other. Another one is what’s considered “Pure OCD” . When I get an intrusive thought of something devilish, whether it’s randomly seeing my great aunt naked bc my grandma considers her “fat” even though she’s not, or it’s seeing something demonic and traumatizing, I immediately tell myself, “I don’t wanna see/think about that” over and over and over until the thought is gone. Or I’ll try to replace one mental image with another. One other form of OCD I face every day, is religion. I got baptized for the first time in my life earlier this year in January. I had finally started to repent for my sins, and now I’m constantly feeling afraid that I’m letting God down due to my depression/lack of motivation and vaping/smoking. I also fear excessively that He’ll banish me from His kingdom, or just turn a cold shoulder. I know that what I’ve just typed up is probably all over the place. That is my brain unfortunately. How do you go from being a mentally disorderly and seemingly erratic young woman, to a more well-established, successful woman? I’m all ears!