- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Hi, Pamela, I was on Zoloft, but felt that it was making everything worse. So I started using Lexapro, and it has seemed to work better for me. Ocd is terrifying, and it is so easy to feel hopeless, but keep going and know that those are just thoughts. Harm ocd is described as fear of hurting yourself or others, but it is really you obsessing about saving yourself or others. I have harm ocd and it is hard, but talk to an OCD therapist and start your journey to freedom from bad thoughts.
- Date posted
- 5y
Oh I’m so sorry you are going through this, Pamela :( my heart is broken for you, that you are in such a dark place. Are you going to a therapist and doing ERP? It really is such a helpful treatment for OCD.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you for being so kind. I haven’t gotten started on any of that but I’d love to. I’m just lost on where to start and scared to be judged . I’m absolutely terrified that they will take my baby and put me away , and my family will know what I have been struggling with. My dad doesn’t really believe in mental illness. So I don’t even like talking to him about anything .
- Date posted
- 5y
@Pameladonald6530 I’ve heard that’s a common fear, that the baby will be taken away if you share what’s going on. As long as you have a therapist who specializes in OCD, they will understand because they’ve heard it before. I’m so sorry you’re struggling with this. There is help, all you need to do is take that first step and find a professional who can help you. You can try looking on IOCDF.org!
- Date posted
- 5y
Pamela I am so sorry :( I do not understand the length of what you are going through, but I will definitely be praying for you! I don’t know your story or beliefs, but Jesus brings me so much peace, and He can bring you peace too! Never feel stupid to talk about these things, you are NOT alone and so many people are struggling like you. You deserve to be here so much, and you have a purpose!! If you cannot do it for yourself, do it for your baby. I would encourage some sort of therapy and to continue the medication!! It will definitely help. Please do not give up, no matter how difficult life gets. You have a great plan ahead of you, and you are so loved. Ocd is so difficult. I understand. But you are not alone.
- Date posted
- 5y
I definitely have been asking god to give me the strength and give me the courage to keep fighting . I ask god to help me threw this , I used to not be a super religious person but before this all started I was wanting to go to church for my family. I wanted my baby to grow up in a religious household because I didn’t and I wished I had.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Pameladonald6530 That’s so amazing!! He gives us strength when we are weak, that’s for sure. I am so glad you are wanting the best for your baby. I’m sure you will be an amazing mother. I’m always here if you need someone to talk to, you can also find me on social media if you want. Life can be such a struggle sometimes, especially with ocd, but you’re not alone! ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
@Pameladonald6530 My insta is @erikagracexo :)
- Date posted
- 5y
@erikaxo Thank you ! I’d love to follow you. What is your name on there?
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- 5y
@Pameladonald6530 It’s erikagracexo ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
@erikaxo I followed you! ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
@Pameladonald6530 I didn’t receive the notif, maybe it didn’t show up yet but did you follow the right account ? ?
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- 5y
@erikaxo I think I did. Here is my Instagram pammyann12
- Date posted
- 5y
@Pameladonald6530 I followed you! ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
Pamela add me on ig I have some insight for you I have the same thing @sherrie_irwin
- Date posted
- 5y
I don’t know if I added the correct one. Let me know!
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- 5y
Can I add you as well?
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- 5y
@elyse20 Sure!
- Date posted
- 5y
I had perinatal OCD as well, and it can be so terrifying. Please keep taking your meds, and please start ERP! It is treatable and you can get better!
- Date posted
- 5y
I am continuing to take my meds, I have a appointment tomorrow with my OBGYN so I’m going to tell them that I still have pretty bad anxiety. I was thinking that either they can up my dosage of this and see if that helps a lil better, or try me on a different one, Also I have been feeling sicker then normal. Like it can be hard to eat sometimes so I need some anti nausea medicine or something .
- Date posted
- 5y
I had it my whole pregnancy and had some of the same feelings as you!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I’ve recently been struggling a lot with OCD. I have had OCD for a long time I just didn’t realize it until more recently. About seven months ago I developed panic attacks one day randomly at work. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the hospital where they told me it was just a panic attack and I assumed I would snap out and be better within a few days. However it didn’t. Here’s where it gets scary, I was staying at my then boyfriends house while dealing with blurry vision, anxiety attacks everyday, and more (unsure of what was going on). But at some point I saw my bfs (pew pew 🔫) on his table and it sent me into an anxiety attack after sudden thoughts that I was going to hurt myself with it. I begged him to put it away when I’m not looking so I didn’t know where he put it. He did. These thoughts lasted for about four days but began to go away. (I thought that was it and I would be back to normal). Unfortunately though I ended up moving back in with my family when we couldn’t get my panic attacks under control in time for me to get back to work and pay bills. However, coming home brought up a lot of trauma from when I was kid. My anxiety got worse but I didn’t have those thoughts again. About two and half months ago though, I got sick and went to the hospital where they gave me steroid pills and a steroid shot but sent me into some kind of psychiatric event. Ever since then though, I have been suffering from harm OCD, I have had moments of intense anger that I usually have to completely walk away and go on my own because of how intense they are, and it feels like it’s getting worse. Today I felt fine until about and hour and half ago where I started to dwell on the fact that my suicidal thought was influenced by my OCD and at the moment my OCD is at the worst it’s been. This caused me to get suddenly really depressed and I started crying thinking about how I can’t handle this. I then saw a post talking about how suicide rates are high for people with this form of OCD and it made me question if I am mentally strong enough to pull through this. I fear that at times I’m getting worse. I have good days but I have a lot of bad days. Unfortunately this sent me into such a bad panic attack I went over to my nanas crying about how I can’t deal with this. I took a 0.25 mg Xanax which helped calm down the panic attack portion of it but my brain is still uncomfortably active. I guess I just need hope. I’m so saddened by this. It’s like my life took a total 360 in 10 months and got even worse since the steroid shot. Idk what to do about it. I can’t stop the spiral. I talk to two different therapist weekly and start more next week, making it 5 times a week. I feel no improvements…
- Date posted
- 20w
hi everyone, i just joined and this is my first time really seeking help for my mental health. i’ve always thought i could handle the thoughts on my own but it’s getting harder every day and starting to becoming debilitating in some aspects of my life. i’m not educated enough on a lot of forms of OCD and i’ve never spoken to a professional (i plan to soon) but i think i may have some form of harm OCD? reading the descriptions of it and learning about others stories, i feel i can safely say i have experienced harm OCD, however the bulk of my thoughts don’t revolve around me hurting someone, instead i have very graphic and intrusive thoughts/ visions of my loved ones dying in all kinds of ways. I obsessively watch my boyfriends location as he drives because i need to be sure he is alive and moving. when he leaves i have to say the same prayer (i am not religious) like a mantra three times. if i see a loved one a “dangerous” situation, say standing at the top of stairs, stepping on rocks at the beach, leaning on a balcony, etc. i will have INCREDIBLY real and vivid images flash in my head of them dying. the images are so graphic and make me have a visceral physical reaction. some images have stuck with me for years and they will “flash” in my head all day, every day. almost every time i shower, walk by a curb, i have a split second image of me or a loved one tripping and hitting my head. i will be sitting on the couch and see the corner of a table and my whole body will shiver hard because i imagined slipping and hitting my head. sometimes this makes me stay up all night because i can’t control or stop the thoughts and i will have a panic attack. I also have always really bad thoughts revolving driving. i drive a LOT and luckily it hasn’t interfered with my ability to do so, but since i started driving almost ten years ago i have had the same little mantra that i repeat three times EVERY time i put the car in drive. i have several items in my car that can not leave or i am convinced something horrible will happen. this year i got a new car and i had horrible panic attacks and anxiety leading up, to the point where i almost considered backing out. i sobbed when i tried to Not transfer my “safety items” from my last car to my new one. i am proud to say that there were a couple items that i was able to throw out, not including a dead, petrified beetle (gross i know) that i have kept 3 different cars (for OCD reasons, im not gross) last thing for this post- for as long as i can remember, i do this thing where i poke my fingernails into my palms very hard until i feel pain so i can assure that im alive. kind of like a “pinch me im dreaming thing”. i will not cut my nails short because when i do, the poking doesn’t “hurt enough” so i cant reassure myself that im alive. i do it every time death is mentioned, i do it every. single. time. a semi truck is driving past me. i do it every time i have an intrusive thought, every time i see a motorcyclist, every time i feel “jinxed”, every time someone is driving too fast, etc. etc. etc. i did not expect to write so much in this first post, it just all kind of came out so if anyone has actually read this, thank you. i think i just want to know what this is and if anyone else has experienced something similar. thank you ❤️
- Date posted
- 15w
I'm roughly 2 months pregnant and I'm struggling so bad with OCD (specifically surrounding psychosis/postpartum psychosis, postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, etc). I'm so discouraged because I was sub-clinical for over a year and this pregnancy and the hormones are undoing all of my progress. And it actually seems so much harder than BEFORE when I was at a low point. It feels like the hormones are ruining my brain and making me lose my mind. I keep looking over my shoulder, getting intrusive images of scary hallucinations that I might start to get, i fear hurting myself or my baby, etc. Psychosis in pregnancy is 1 in 1000. That's not that rare. I feel like I just upped my chances of my biggest fear happening and I have so much regret and fear around that. I'm also a Christian and I'm relying on God so much more now than ever, but I'm afraid of that too because people in psychosis often have religious delusions and I can't tell if I'm slipping into that or if God is really just using this trial to pull me closer to him. I just feel so defeated. I feel like ERP just isn't going to work for me because the hormones are a whole different animal that "normal" people with OCD don't have. Like they're making me immune to ERP or that ERP isn't for people like me and I'm hopeless.
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