My false attraction or whatever you call it seems so real. It targets mainly my female friends, but there are times when I get super anxious looking at an attractive famous person or a female I don't know personally online. I'm so scared because when I talk to them or just enjoying a regular friendship, I feel like I secretly like them. I'm so paranoid... I get images of them sometimes, but it's always their names that appear in my head. And when I smile at text messages or during a voice call, I get weird feelings ..... almost like I like them. These are the girls that I admire or envy, but not in a weird manner of course. I admire their beauty, intelligence, and talents but somehow my brain misinterprets those as "liking them." I'm so scared, I feel like I'm attracted to my friends. I also get these weird sensations: "butterflies in my stomach" and this weird tightness in my feeling. I'm so paranoid around both genders, to be honest :/ If I don't like a guy back, I'll get thoughts about "that must be a sign." Someone, please help ... :((((

I’ve suffered from HOCD and have gone through all of that, it’s actually normal if you suffer from that from of OCD. Overnight people I had been friends with for years seemed to contribute to my fears and intrusive thoughts and I suddenly saw everything differently. I stopped hanging out with my friends and then became totally dependent on my relationship with my boyfriend to prove I wasn’t gay. I would need to feel in love with him or wanting to be affectionate with him at literally all times and if I second passed where I didn’t have the urge to kiss him I’d be like ommmg all my fears are true! What helped me was 1.) being put on medication 2.) beginning to live the life I had again. I literally stopped hanging out or even talking to my friends and even watching tv. Start, slowly, doing everything you did before and don’t assume these things won’t make you anxious. They definately will and it’s gonna be super hard at first, allow yourself to feel anxious and think your intrusive thoughts without going down the rabbit hole trying to figure out what they mean or trying to make them go away. Your retraining your brain to stop seeing everything as a threat and it actually works. I pretty much am back to the life I had, I talk and see my friends regularly, watch tv and really love my boyfriend and we’ve had the best relationship we’ve had in probably a year. It’s super hard work but it really does get better and your not alone I literally went through all of that and I really am getting my life and self back.

I had the same complusion! I made a list of all of my compulsions and then rated them as least go most difficult and then worked on one or two a week. One of the first compulsions I tackled was looking people in the eye and it made me super anxious and nervous and gave me a ton of thoughts at first. Now, weeks later I can look at people and sit close to them and I very rarely have any intrusive thoughts at all. You can totally do it!

I wouldn’t say I’ve completely recovered. I still have intrusive thoughts and I don’t think my OCD is 100% under control. I’ve had the HOCD theme for 6 months and this last month and a half I’ve been on medicine and got work books and really created a therapy plan for myself. I would say at my worst my anxiety was at a 9-10 and my obsessions consumed like literally 95% of my thoughts. Right now I’d say my anxiety is like a 3 and my obsessions consume maybe like 15% of my thoughts. This last month and really dedicating my whole life to fighting this has really made all the difference and i saw big changes in just a matter of weeks.