- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I think that the distressing thought is that you have soap on you, right? In that case, the ERP exercise should be imagining that you have actually done that (or actually doing that if you don't find it too anxious to do?) and NOT washing. Not an expert, but that's what I think. And the time matters, I have found that 60' of staying with the anxious feelings is really important for them to start lowering. Hope this helps!
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you. That did help. I think I'm getting caught up in should I just allow the intrusive thought to be without doing the compulsion, or actually do what's inside the intrusive thought, which would be lathering soap on me and never rinsing it off.
- Date posted
- 5y
You have asked the same question before. You have to let go of the rumination part. Just sit with the discomfort of not knowing. Learn more about OCD about, listen to Patrick Mc Graths Q&A, ver good information! Dont let OCD drive your actions, develope another way of handöing these thoughts. Write scripts and listen to them, "maybe I have soap everwhere, I dont care..."
- Date posted
- 5y
When in doubt, act normal. Estrids right, I remember talking this through multiple times before. Try inserting a different "fear" and see if you get some perspective. If someone's obsession is "what if I'm gay" and their compulsion is rumination, erp is to say "maybe, maybe not" and move on, not to go have sex with someone of the same gender. If someone's obsession is "what if I ran over a toddler?" and their compulsion is to inspect their car bumper for blood, erp is to say "maybe" and not inspect the car. They don't have to actually go run over s toddler to face the fear. It's the same concept for you.
- Date posted
- 5y
@NOCD Advocate - Katie Very good suggestions Katie?!
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you Estrid & Katie. That makes sense. Where my mind goes after I get the initial obsession "What if I put soap on my TV & What if rubbed soap on my body" is how to approach it. The cycle for it looks like this: "Now, what do I need to do in order to overcome this thought? Do I need to rub soap on my TV or leave it alone? Oh wait, now have I done that and rubbed soap on my TV? Oh great, now there's soap rubbed on my TV. Shouldn't I get a cloth to remove it? If I wipe potential soap off, that's a compulsion (BAD!) & now I need to fix that compulsion by putting soap on my TV. If I'm not putting soap on my TV, I'm not following correct ERP. I need to make myself anxious beyond facing the obsession & not performing the compulsion. To take that simple approach wouldn't be enough. Should I rub soap on my TV? It technically would make Aaron uncomfortable to do so. I should be just as content with soap on the screen as off the screen. Oh wait, now have I done that and rubbed soap on my TV? I should get a cloth to wipe it off. What if it's avoidance behavior to not have soap on my TV, so now I need to put soap on my TV? Aaron wouldn't choose to purposefully put soap on the TV, but maybe I should since it'd bother me some? Since it'd bother me some, isn't that OCD? Does my new reality need to be leaving soap on TV screens? Therapists have people do higher end exposures besides just face the original obsession & not do the compulsion, so what if I need to put soap on my TV & habituate to that?" I'm trying to ignore the thoughts. Its a really strong pull to figure out how to address something with exposure, as therapists have different techniques, so it's bothering me a lot. I will try to take your advice & won't post anymore as I know it's crossing into reassurance territory. Thanks for your helpful advice and I will keep reminding myself to stick to just leaning into the obsession & not doing the compulsion.
- Date posted
- 5y
@canigetawitness I know that thinking loop very well, and I wish you strength to break it?
- Date posted
- 5y
I really understand it beacuse I often feel the same, and I have got the answer from my therapist that I told you before, there are different ways, and you must choose one of them. If the biggest fear is "what if I dont rinse away the soap enough when I shower?" Than it can be a good exposure to leave soap on purpose on your body. Whars your greatest fear in this situation? When you have an answer to that, do the opposite and sit with the discomfort.
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm currently trying to find an OCD therapist who understands the mechanism of my OCD & what you & Katie are advising me to do. It's surprisingly been hard to find a person who gets it & will help work alongside me.
- Date posted
- 5y
Where do you live? Can you reach a therapist through this app?
- Date posted
- 5y
@Estrid Yes, I'm actually seeing a therapist through this app. Still trying to explain my symptoms though, so maybe I should try someone else.
- Date posted
- 5y
@canigetawitness Dont give up?
- Date posted
- 5y
@Estrid I just watched the weekly NOCD webinar with Dr. McGrath & I asked the question about the whole shower scenario & he suggested showering normal, getting out & then putting a dab of soap on my hands & walk away. He said he would recommend building up from there. I feel like it was a mistake to even ask that question because now I'm panicking over what to do. Is my goal to take a shower regularly or is my goal to shower and then leave myself lathered in soap. It's all confusing and I feel helpless, just, this is too much. Conflicting instructions. I still want to stick by the approach to experience the obsession and then not perform the compulsion, because I thought that was the whole point of ERP. But after asking the question on the webinar tonight, I've just fell down the rabbit hole even more. How far do you go living life backwards until it completely crushes you? I'm tired of constantly feeling like I have to do the opposite of what Aaron's values are. I'm so tired.
- Date posted
- 5y
@canigetawitness Oh I'm so sorry? The most important thing is to no that there isn't one perfect answer to your question. The goal is normal showers, but there are different paths to take. Choose one strategy and hold on to it! Dont give up.
- Date posted
- 5y
If the goal is to just take a regular shower, what is the point of habituating to soap rubbed on me after the shower? That's whats confusing. Also, it was the OCD that suggested I rub soap on me in the first place. I feel like no one is understanding the mechanism of my OCD, not even therapists/doctors, and I feel hopeless.
- Date posted
- 5y
I just want to make my own decisions, not let OCD make them.
- Date posted
- 5y
My greatest fear is that I'm supposed to do the opposite of myself for exposure. What I mean by that is if I get an intrusive thought "You're going to get a handful of soap and smear it on your TV", that means I need to do what's inside the intrusive thought, instead of just let that thought be there, not reacting to it, letting it drift away. Same goes for the shower when I get the thought after I'm finished "You're going to pump soap into your hands and smear it on your body". So then I'm like is that just an obsessive thought or something I need to be doing. In short I have this belief that I'm supposed to take what's inside the obsession and actually do the content inside. So that's the biggest fear. If I don't, I feel like I'd be doing ERP incorrectly, that's a big fear too. Yes, purposefully putting soap on my body, rubbing it in on TV would bother me. But it's not the fear. You're right I need to pick a strategy and go with, so for now I'm going to try and embrace my obsessions as they are & not react compulsively.
- Date posted
- 5y
I get you. I think you know what your biggest fears are. Try that strategy. And you can make scripts where you tell youself "maybe I do my exposures wrong, maybe not". Hang in there!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
So I think what's been so specifically tough for me (idk if this is what others go through with the real event stuff) is that ... Well I basically have this mental system... - Something has been dealt with -- which means it's "ok" it's "acceptable" assessment of ___. Rumination to "problem solve" with the intrusive thought. - CONSTANT inquiries to Challenge that previous assessment conclusion i.e. "no that hasn't actually been deal with, you didn't think about ____ or this other angle or this other new thing related to it" etc. Idk how tf you fix that with ERP? Idk up from down at this point Is the "system" OCD? Should people not try to problem solve (even though it's actually rumination)? Should I not engage with the "challenges?" HOW TF does Peace of Mind actually happen when the answers seem to be "you must be delusional" or "you must leave (significant) things un-dealt with / open ended" Like, what's that actual solution here? Hopefully this made sense. Thanks
- Date posted
- 22w
So I have pretty intense contamination OCD tied to Moral/Real event OCD, and I'm having a hard time with it because part of me does genuinely believe my logic checks out, and I was hoping to get some insight as to how to change the way I see it from other people who sort of get the mindset involved :). To sum it up as well as I can, I basically have a very souped-up version of the same item-event association most people have. For example, let's say you have a HORRIBLE, GOD AWFUL relationship with a person you can't even begin to think of favorably even years after the event. They had gotten you a stuffed animal for your anniversary at some point. You finally "escape" the relationship, and you throw away the stuffed animal. This is seen as a very normal and sound-of-mind action. Here's where things get tricky: For me, throwing out that stuffed animal wouldn't be enough. After all, it touched my table didn't it? And my table touched the floor right? And these things now carry that person's germs. And if I don't get rid of them, then they'll infect my future belongings. This logic isn't entirely flawed either, as even my OCD specialist said he believes in a "weaker version of what I do". How am I supposed to convince myself that what I'm believing is false when the literal psychologist confirmed that what I'm doing is just a more in-depth version of a normal experience? Ex: I have a new outfit, fresh and clean. I'm unbothered and happy, but I knick the side of a table. The table holds awful associations. I get this awful sense of dread. The clothes are now somewhat sullied, and I'll eventually have to give them away. I don't think I'm explaining this as well as I could, but I feel like those notions are there. Anyways, does anyone have any insight as to how to get my mind to genuinely believe that interacting with these things is "safe"?
- Date posted
- 20w
Hi this is my first time posting on here. I wasn't sure if I should because I want to make sure I'm not seeking reassurance because I heard that makes ocd worse. I don't want to talk about what my ocd problem was, but basically I was really upset about a religious ocd problem that I know isn't true. I'm feeling a lot better about it now, but when it was bad I decided to try and get better on my own. I read about ERP therapy and how you're supposed to make a list of your ocd problems, from least distressing to most. So I wrote them down on two pieces of paper. At first I started with the simple ones, like looking for spiders before leaving the room. I have a tendency to look for spiders before leaving a room but lately I've been trying not to anymore. Then I decided to try and do one of the hard things. It was a religious ocd problem. I decided to start simple, and just write the problem down on a piece of paper. So I went downstairs and got some paper. But then I thought, oh no, my ocd is probably not going to like this. What do I do with the paper once I write it down? If I think what I wrote down is bad and going to upset God and I will go to hell, (even though I know logically it's not), my ocd is probably going to freak out if I throw away the paper. It probably won't calm down unless I erase it. So I just decided to not write it down on a paper, and just type it on my phone instead. So I did, I typed it on my phone. So, even though I didn't write anything down on the paper, now it feels like that peice of paper is bad. I feel like it's connected to the problem I was having, and I was so upset I called my mom crying asking her what to do. Eventually I decided to just put the paper back with the rest of the paper downstairs, but I'm still upset. I feel like I have to throw away all the paper downstairs, the pencil I was going to use to write down the problem, and the eraser I was going to use in case I needed to erase anything. It feels like if I use any of those items I will make God angry and go to hell. I know I shouldn't do this though, so I'm not going to. I don't know what to do with the papers where I wrote down my ocd problems. They are on my desk and I'm too afraid to move them. And if I put them in my desk I'm afraid they will get mixed up with other papers. I guess I can do whatever I want with them. I think I'll put them in a folder or binder and if I make any more ocd papers I can just put them in there. I'm just really confused on how to move forward. Right now, I'm too afraid to use the papers, pencil, or eraser for anything. I feel like I can't write on them, draw on them, or anything. It's even making me feel like I can't make digital art. It's making me feel like I can't do a lot of things. I guess what I have to do is just do whatever I want to, because I know the ocd isn't true and doesn't make sense.
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