You know you have fantasies of love and just doing happy stuff. They're normal but its werid because I can picture him with a different girl because she is better and prettier than me. Its like my brain wants to be an enemy. Idk i want my brain to quit. I want to be able to imagine my life even its just a fake one. I want to day dream like normal.

I know its just I cant stop thinking about this other woman. It's not that I like her or anything I've never meet her. It's just that he was going through a break up last year and he mentioned her and I got triggered and my mind is crazy. I dont wanna let these come true or anything but it does effect my dreams too. I dont know if you pray but I need it and I want it to stop.

@shanny Is this about your current boyfriend or an ex? If it’s your current boyfriend, I would talk with him about it. Communication is always important. If not, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. I’m sorry that your ocd is fixated on this girl. I know that once our thoughts start, it’s hard to stop them. Maybe you could try to occupy your mind with other things to see if you can get your mind off of it for a little while. And I will definitely pray for you and this situation!!

@erikaxo He is a friend/crush. Never had a boyfriend. I know I dont need to worry about it its just I should stop trying to think getting into relationships. My RJ always comes into play. :(

@erikaxo He is also single too. It's juat whenever I like a guy my mind is always saying how dare you like him there is a prettier woman whonis waiting for him and out of all.the people you like. You should be ashamed of yourself

@shanny Ohh. I’ve never had a boyfriend either, so maybe that will comfort you as well. Yeah, I would say that having a boyfriend shouldn’t be something we focus on for our happiness, but I understand that your ocd can make that difficult :(

Mhm!! I’m doing pretty good, my ocd can get really annoying sometimes and bum me out, but I’m hoping to get medication really soon, hbu? (besides this post)

@erikaxo I'm learning how to be happy while single and get into shape. :)

@shanny Ooo!! I’m so glad and getting into shape is an awesome thing :)

I do agree that we need to be happy by ourself first. Because if we are looking for men to give us the happiness, then that’s all we’re gonna search after is love from others. You definitely should date someone, but I would say wait for the right one. I know you mentioned someone being equally yoked before. I’m not sure if you would consider yourself Christian or anything but if you do, I would focus more on Jesus and that relationship and wait for Him to bring you the right person :) I hope that things can get easier for you!! We’re all in this together

That’s not true, don’t say that about yourself :( You are BEAUTIFUL no matter what your color or weight is. If anyone ever told you that you were unlovable because of your color or weight, they lied to you. You are so worthy of love!!