My life is a joke ? I’m 27 female, not married don’t have any kids, don’t have a career in fact I HATE my job and enjoy this lockdown cuz I ain’t there with people I can’t stand and make me sad and anxious. I feel like a failure, I’m anxious all the time, I feel enormous even though my bf says he likes me as I am I FEEL massive and nothing is making me lose weight so I’m gonna have to legitimately starve myself again cuz that’s the only thing that works I hate myself, and I’m jealous (secretly, I don’t display it) of everyone around me my age who’s getting shit that *I* wanted in my life too ? there’s not enough to go around for us all obviously

I just feel robbed ? all I’ve ever wanted is a simple quiet life but I don’t get to have that ? even my own brain won’t let me have that

And I do feel vile when I look at the scale on top of all of the other nonsense going on in my head ? im the heaviest I’ve ever been, I’m 5ft 6 and weigh 153lbs and it’s adding to my “fuck it” list now

@uwotm8 But i'm sure you can have it !!!! I know it's hard trully but i'm sure one day we'll feel better, but we need to work on hapinness and what we truly want and i know how hard it is

@jj19 I just feel like I’m running out of time for the things I want when other women my age are already successful in life, I can practically hear my biological clock ticking but I’m not ready just yet for kids even though I know I want them one day ? I can’t see my partner ever proposing to me even though I always assumed I would get married and I don’t know what to do on the career front because I’m creative and people want shit for free and won’t pay up - but also people remind me I’m wasted because I’m good at what I do in my spare time! so what the hell am I doing other than failing ? also my ocd is a massive bastard if I had to sacrifice a limb to get rid of it I would

@uwotm8 I got it but 2992929 of women of ur age are in the same condition. U have time, trully. My mother had me when she was 38. A lot of person will have kids or not have at all or will adopt etc. I'm 19 i've never been in a relationship and i'm like omg i'm running out of time too but at the end what matters is what we want we are ready. It's hard to explain but we focus sm on how things MUST be that we forget how everybody has different lifes and to our own rythm. I guess girls of ur age can be anxious about not having a boyfriend or not having a job etc... i know how our anxiety/ocd brain is ALWAYS showing us the bad part but in order to feel better we should try to accept our current situation and keep hope

@jj19 Thank you ? I just feel sceptical and like it will never work out the way I wanted or expected and seeing others have what I want makes me want to curl up in a ball forever

@uwotm8 I understand. But you are not alone! So many people have ocd just like you do. There is help you can get. Also, don’t let your weight define you. You’re beautiful no matter what. Maybe if you want to get healthy you could research ways to do that that would work for you :)

@erikaxo I just feel pathetic, in so many areas of my life! And I don’t even look bad not really, I just am very focused on how I look because I’ve always been slim and being slightly heavier is messing with my head!!!

@uwotm8 Aww well I understand that weight gain can make us feel insecure, but you really don’t need to be. It’s natural to have weight gain in life. And like I said, beauty doesn’t have anything to do with your weight. I will always be here if you ever need a friend ?

@erikaxo Thankyou that means a lot! I often wonder if I have something besides ocd going on, I can be fine one minute then unbearably anxious panicky over life, HATE myself, feel worthless and disgusted with myself, I’ve even sat there crying alone hitting myself in the head for being so disappointing and then once I have done that I feel better? It’s so strange. I’m embarrassed to admit that but it’s true, no one knows it mind you. I’m normal when I’m with people but I feel like a fucking mess when I’m alone I hate it so much

@uwotm8 :( I’m sorry. Maybe you could research your symptoms? But you are not worthless, I promise!! God puts every person on this earth for a reason. Don’t compare your life to other people’s ❤️

@erikaxo I know I shouldn’t compare but it’s like I can’t stop? I stopped going on social media, but I’m like “yeah, well you still KNOW people are doing and having the things you want either way!” So it just feels futile ? I looked into bpd before but the last time I mentioned it here everyone shut me down and told me it’s ocd so

@uwotm8 Ohh. I’m not sure if it would be bpd or not. But you could also seek a professional to get tested or something. Have you tried medication or therapy? I’m not sure if you said you did. I know it can be so easy to compare, but that will just make you feel worse. Just because other people have certain things, doesn’t mean they’re necessarily happy.

I can’t function when I hate my weight though I’ve been this way before when I was younger and I sort of out grew it? But it’s come back again recently but I am heavier than I was before so I’m seriously losing my SHIT!

@uwotm8 I've only started having issues with weight. Before that my issue was simply having no muscle. I'm trying to make peace with the fact that my physical peak has passed. In the meantime I'm using this quarantine time to get in an exercise routine and eat healthier. Those are the only things I can control.

@Ben84 I feel like I look like a hideous wobbly creature lately when everyone says I look nice, I know I’m over reacting but I can’t help it, don’t know if it’s part of ocd but I feel I am not allowed to eat until I’m an acceptable weight again but that’s not realistic so it annoys me

@uwotm8 Do you have a therapist who can help you?

@Ben84 No I don’t ? I had some sessions before the pandemic but she cancelled at least 2 out of 8 and it wasn’t ocd specific like I expected either so basically wasted my time

@uwotm8 Sorry to hear that. Are you in an area where you could get therapy through the app?

@Ben84 No I looked and it’s not available, I’m trying self help but I feel up and down so I freak out when I think it’s not working then because in my head I want to only be moving forward not back EVER

@uwotm8 Yeah, it's not available where I live yet either. I hope self help works out for you until you can see a therapist again ☺.

@Ben84 Thanks ??