I had every symptom before , the googling, forcing myself to watch porn, EVERYTHING. Now I just keep on being in my head and testing myself. Is this still HOCD?

I don't know .

I don't know what fits the OCD cycle anymore.

@Please send help Start by explaining the OCD cycle to me. Putting it in your own words is a great way to solidify your knowledge

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Well you start by getting the thought, then you start to over thinking that thought , it then starts giving you more anxiety, then the anxiety gets to the point where your stomach starts to hurt and you start to pnaic.

@Please send help This seems like a description of what happens to you personally. If you rely just in previous personal experience, it's going to be very difficult to adapt to future changes. Can you explain the OCD cycle in general, how thoughts, emotions, and actions relate to each other and become obsessions, distress, compulsions, and temporary relief?

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Obssesive thought, anxiety, compulsive behavior , and relief usually temporary?

@Please send help Yes, that's the skeleton on the cycle. Humor me. Write a paragraph explaining it. Imagine the person you're talking to has never heard about the OCD cycle, or even the terms "obsessions" or "comoulsions" before

@NOCD Advocate - Katie But ultimately gives the sufferer more anxiety and start the cycle again.

Yes.

@Please send help Most of what you wrote is on the money. Where you got tripped up is the sentence "and because of that anxiety the suffered obsesses over the thought, trying to decipher or disprove in their brain of the thought." The distress (remember that anxiety isn't the only distressing emotion OCD can involve) causes people to try to get rid of the distress right away. The repetitive behaviors and avoidance they use to try to alleviate the distress are the comoulsions. Thank ng about a thought over and over, trying to decipher or disprove it is a compulsion. While in common language, people often call that "obsessing", in the OCD cycle, it's really compulsing. Mislabeling that compulsion as an obsession is a common mistake that confuses how the OCD cycle works

@NOCD Advocate - Katie So, now for the important question. Go back to your initial post. Dies the pattern of thoughts, emotions, and actions you described fit the OCD cycle?

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Well I get the thought and I keep on ruminating , testing myself, which in return causes me anxiety and the feeling of numbness.

Yes

@Please send help Ok, so what is the answer to your original question?

@NOCD Advocate - Katie It's just hard , when you're thoughts feel so real and then your thoughts then turn into feelings and I can't distinguish whats real or not.

Ok. Treat it as if it's hocd then. You don't need perfect certainty to decide on a plan of action

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Alright , I'll try :')

@Please send help PS: by "treat it as OCD" I mean do ERP and use acceptance