I feel like my POCD is getting out of hand. Not only am I having thoughts daily. But anything that is associated with children (colors, toys, or clothing) I get immediate triggers, intrusive thoughts, false feelings of attraction. I sometimes even feel like I'm a pedophile because of the way these thoughts make me feel. I'm worried since I no longer show the thoughts emotion, it means that I'm becoming what I fear to become. Help me.

Cz28Soccer

Date posted: 5y

Yeah, I want to adopt a child, but I'm just so scared of my pocd. I'm not going to act on my thoughts of course because why would I need to? I'm terrified of just looking at children, and just the idea of looking at them. I used to never mind them. But my pocd makes it seem like I'm obliged to look at children. I'm into women my age and older of course, but I feel like my pocd makes it seem like im attracted to children when I'm really not. It's crazy how pocd works.

9jewels

Date posted: 5y

My mind will say disgusting things in my voice and I have to correct myself. Sometimes they don’t even feel all that intrusive anymore but I think it’s my way of checking or trying to justify attraction which neither help. Idk if you feel the same, but you’re not alone

Cz28Soccer

Date posted: 5y

I definitely feel the same. Sometimes I even think the thoughts on purpose but I feel like that's a way of checking for sure. It doesn't help at all. It only feeds the thoughts more and more. Going outside is hell too. It feels like I HAVE to look at children in order to see if I'm attracted or not, and it's really a nightmare. I know we will defeat OCD one day. We will do it.

9jewels

Date posted: 5y

@Cz28Soccer Mine recently has shifted more towards teenagers and my brain really convinced me I was a pedophile and I accepted it. I’m fighting it off now and hoping to talk to my therapist about it this week if I can manage to reschedule. Trying not to check just makes me check more to find an answer but the answer I’m getting goes against my morals and I hate it. We can make it through

Cz28Soccer

Date posted: 5y

Yeah it's tough. Don't worry, were going to get through this together! We can do this!

9jewels

Date posted: 5y

Yeah! And if u ever wanna talk or whatever I’m here!!

Cz28Soccer

Date posted: 5y

I have have checking tactics that are against my morals as well. My POCD has taken both kids, and teens. I turned 18 in February too, so I feel like it's also me transitioning from a kid to an adult. Idk, it's very scary. We will rise over OCD. And were going to look back on it and laugh at it.

9jewels

Date posted: 5y

I just turned 21 and I think mine is rooted in some long term insecurity and maybe something else idk

Cz28Soccer

Date posted: 5y

@9jewels I think its bc were protective about children and how vulnerable they are.

9jewels

Date posted: 5y

@Cz28Soccer Definitely that too. For a while I’ve wanted to be a foster parent to give kids/teens a better home and opportunities and therapy if they need it. Now not so much because I do not like interacting with kids/teens at all which might be pocd related lol

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