- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes, I can definitely relate. These strange thoughts can feel so isolating. I grew up with undiagnosed ocd and it was so hard to deal with throughout childhood. I also experienced this feeling after it was diagnosed. It can feel like you’re alone, and I’m so sorry you have to deal with that because I know it’s so hard from experience. Keep pushing, and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I’m here to talk if you ever need?
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you !!! Peter May i ask how you handle a time of distress like this?? I feel so sad and lonely and also most of my compulsions are in my head and they play over and over Sometimes I call my mom and stuff but then I start crying because it feels like something is really wrong with me. Or I talk to doctors or go to the emergency room but then I freak out even more
- Date posted
- 5y
@JBird88 I’ve had similar experiences. I used to call my mom while I was at school and just start balling my eyes out because I was being tortured by my intrusive thoughts and mental compulsions. There are a few things I’ve learned throughout the years. When you’re in an extreme episode of ocd, it’s good to do some deep breathing. If you’re embarrassed to do it in front of others like I was, it’s perfectly ok to go into a private room or bathroom. There are some cool deep breathing techniques out there, I can describe them more in depth if you’d like. After you do the deep breathing and feel slightly more calm, I recommend using ERP, CBT, and mindfulness methods. Do you currently have a therapist? Also may I ask why you went to the emergency room? Was it a health related fear?
- Date posted
- 5y
@Peter522 So I think my OCD has been getting worse. I feel so weird and hyperfocused all the time. I have good moments but then I freak out on and off and this has been happening for a long time. I’m on medication and I scheduled an appointment with my psychiatrist too. So we will talk tomorrow. But I’m back in the Emergency room again and I feel like I’m just plain going crazy and it distresses me because I panic then feel very alone and like something bad is going to happen. I also scheduled to do intensive group therapy radical acceptance for OCD but like right now I feel like I’m on crack going 100mph I was taking a stimulant so I think maybe that has a lot to do with it. But my OCD is making me feel numb and extremely depressed I had episodes where I would start panicking and I had a massive panic attack yesterday because I had an intrusive thought about never getting better and just killing my self or feeling so depressed that I might hurt myself and I got sooooo scared :(
- Date posted
- 5y
@JBird88 I don’t want to die I think I have a fear of death and also I don’t want to get depressed and commit suicide
- Date posted
- 5y
@JBird88 I’ve been in a similar situation. You feel like numb to the world, you dissociate a bit maybe, you get extremely depressed, I’ve been through it. My biggest word of advice to you, please remember that this will not last forever. Do your best with whatever coping mechanisms or therapy methods you have learned, and really try hard with them, but don’t beat yourself up if you have trouble bringing yourself to do them or if they don’t “work”. You’re going through a rough time rn, and being compassionate and understanding with yourself, even about your therapy methods, is very important. And remember, I say this as someone who’s had a similar experience, it gets better. It just might take some time. If you’d like I could share some resources that I use quite often that are fairly simple?
- Date posted
- 5y
@Peter522 Thank you for your kind words. May I ask was it anything that made you feel this worse?? Or it just came on? I presume it’s just OCD episodes Oh please I would love some recourses.
- Date posted
- 5y
@JBird88 Well, I was going through a period where my OCD was very severe, so it was sort of a longer term thing rather than one single event that triggered it. Looking back on it, I think it may have been my teenaged hormones that triggered it enough to make it severe, although I’ve had OCD since I was a child. That’s just a guess tho and that’s just my own personal experience. After years of trying different medications and working through therapy, my OCD is now manageable. I’m still working on it and struggling with it but it’s much better than it was.It is possible:) For resources, here’s some things that help me. Woebot: A virtual AI chatbot that works with people to teach them CBT, DBT, and mindfulness methods to help see thoughts and feelings for what they are and to challenge them. It also helps you to build a new line of thinking. Doesn’t have ERP, however it is a great resource. I know it’s available on the iOS App Store, but it may be available on other platforms as well. It might sound strange but I would definitely recommend it! More in the next comment...
- Date posted
- 5y
@JBird88 More resources: Deep breathing: this works well for when you’re going through a bad episode of OCD or are extremely anxious. At least it works well for me. You can trace the side of your hand with your finger. As you go up your thumb, breath in deeply, and as you continue slowly down your thumb, release your whole breath. Continue until you get to the other side of your hand, then go back the other direction. There’s also a breathing bubble on the calm app (it’s provided for free). It serves as a visual and you breathe in as the bubble expands and breathe out as it contracts. It’s very soothing. Meditation: Headspace has some free guided meditations on their app right now. They also have YouTube meditations. Calm also has some. And of course, the paid version of those apps are really good if you end up liking them and can afford it. I will say though, guided meditations probably won’t fix obsessions and compulsions, but they are good for relaxing your mind. The OCD stories podcast: This is a really good podcast for getting some good information about therapy methods, education on OCD, the community’s thoughts, etc. He links to a lot of good self help books that people he interviews wrote as well. The mindfulness workbook for OCD, by Jon Hershfield: This was my first OCD self help book I got and it’s a great introduction to the basics of OCD treatment. It also gives really good ERP and mundfulness suggestions for different OCD subtypes (like health ocd, sexual orientation ocd, etc.) And of course, your biggest resource will be your therapist, if you can get one. Therapy is very useful, and make sure they are trained in treating OCD specifically. I don’t know the specifics of why you’re in the ER, or the specifics of your situation, but make sure you stay safe. You are of so much value. ocd is difficult but it can actually end up teaching you so much in my experience. That’s not a full list, there are many other resources, but that’s a good place to start:)
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
I have the same thing, all day!
- Date posted
- 5y
I don’t have much experience with suicidal ocd, although I realize it’s a very difficult subject to deal with. I feel for you, I would recommend a therapist or doctor or the NOCD support chat. I wish you the very best luck in your therapy journey, let me know if you ever need to talk!
- Date posted
- 5y
Peter thank you for shining a glimmer of hope I hope to come out of this better than before ?
- Date posted
- 5y
@JBird88 I hope you do too! Stay strong?
- Date posted
- 5y
Fantastic thank you so much!!! To be honest sometimes I feel like hospitalization is my only option but at the same time I feel like my OCD wants me to do that to feel safe if that makes sense I’m not too sure. I feel like my mind is twisted
- Date posted
- 5y
Have you tried reaching out to a therapist on the NOCD app? That may be a good place to start:)
- Date posted
- 5y
What I mean by that is they may be able to help give some perspective on the situation, and whether that’s just a compulsion or if you’re really in danger. Also be sure to talk to your doctor too
- Date posted
- 5y
@Peter522 She’s on vacation :( so that didn’t help lol
- Date posted
- 5y
@JBird88 Oh okay:( well continue to reach out so that once she’s off of vacation she can help you. There’s also a support chat in the NOCD app that may be able to help. Have you tried that?
- Date posted
- 5y
@Peter522 Yes I saw that!!! I’m actually thinking about going back to the behavioral hospital though but I don’t know what the best option will be now .... I’m only thinking about that because I want to feel safe with myself. :( it sucks sooooooo bad that I have suicidal ocd because I have NO IDEA of when I would be actually suicidal it’s sooo freaking hard
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Hello does anyone get such severe panic and anxiety that comes along with bad intrusive thoughts. Then the thoughts give you more panic because you feel you may act on them? Then I worry I’m going crazy, can anyone relate? Thank for reading
- Date posted
- 21w
I used to never have these thoughts it feels like im a different person and im so sad . I watched a TikTok of a girl with her kid and my Brain says how has she not killed her kid yet like wtf cus I get so many thoughts I’m shocked other ppl don’t and now my Brian says how I have I not hurt my dad . I keep posting and I shouldn’t but I feel not normal
- Date posted
- 20w
i’ve just been feeling so off lately. i’m okay right now, but a couple hours ago i was in this mood where i felt anxiety creeping up. like i will feel like there’s danger when there isn’t. i just get this really uncomfortable feeling that something feels wrong even when it isn’t. and i’ve been feeling derealization/depersonalization. just really disconnected from myself and the world. i’ve also been unmotivated to where there are times when the thought of doing things upsets me. and i’ve been having existential thoughts that do not mesh well with harm ocd. i get the thought “if people aren’t real then it’s okay to hurt them”. it sucks because there are times where i just don’t even care to ruminate and find reassurance that that’s not the case. furthermore, i’ve just been really aware of my existence. i will get moments where i’m so aware of my existence and it freaks me out. like the fact that i’m a living human being is crazy to me. then there are times when i’m not even anxious about anything which then has me questioning and ruminating on that because i ALWAYS have something i’m worrying about. i’ve also been feeling really nostalgic and bittersweet of the good memories from the past. i keep thinking about good times i’ve had and really wishing i could relive it. for example, last summer was a pretty good summer even with my ocd. and i just wish i could relive some of those moments, but i obviously can’t. and it’s been upsetting me because this month has been shitty with my anxiety. as for an update with my room change to those of you curious, i still have anxiety over it and my mom is taking it as me being ungrateful with what i have when it’s my ocd making a huge deal of it. that upsets me especially since i’ve told her what’s been going on and she was really understanding of it. anyways, life has just been a bit much and i’ve been dealing with more to my anxiety that i don’t appreciate. while worrying about constantly throwing up with my contamination ocd is incredibly exhausting, it’s so normal to me that i’m used to it. but when my harm ocd kicks in along with other themes that aren’t usually common for me, i freak out and feel like i’m going insane. i genuinely wonder how people have dealt with taboo topics of ocd without treatment for years on end. i’ve had harm intrusive thoughts since i was little, but it didn’t get to any extreme until 2023. i feel like i’m drowning in it when it decides to hit me and the thought of having to deal with it for the rest of my life?? i’m scared something in me will flip and i’ll become what my thoughts are telling me i am. i apologize for the mixed thoughts that are all over the place but i feel safe posting on here about it and want to hear how y’all are doing
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond