I flipped a few days ago and threw the key to my boyfriends house on the floor and left with my family because he wouldn’t show me his phone to prove his narcissistic ex doesn’t still text him inappropriately, but still insists the texts they HAVE exchanged are only about their mutual work. Why the fuck wouldn’t he show me then? Is this rocd or? I was meant to move in with him but it’s all gone wrong lately because he became unwell basically having a nervous breakdown which led to a drink problem ? she was partially responsible because she’s been NOTHING but trouble since we met. Also during all of this his dad died and his mother has cancer now. His ex has shown up unannounced at the house before now, and also threatened to again about a month ago. She also claims he still loves her even though he despises her. She used to attack him at work, she’s a violent pos and shags married men. I’m paranoid, but he swears he’s innocent (which I believe) and is constantly reassuring me. but I don’t trust her. I think she feels she has rights to him and I’m upset by it. He’s inviting some friends over this week but won’t tell me what day. They’re mutual friends. I know she’s possessive over them hanging out without her so I am convinced she will catch wind of it and show up too, and for a quiet life he will let her because I’m no longer there to say “absolutely not”. He swears it won’t happen and is getting upset that I think she will! But it’s not my fault because when he first moved out from their shared house, she used to invite herself shopping with him, demanded to shower at his house when her bathroom was being done and threatened to brick his windows in when he wouldn’t text her back. She hated that he met me and accused him of being destructive when he uploaded photos of me to his social media. They own a business and he worries if she’s displeased, she will cause him to become homeless from her frantic bullshit. As a result, I feel I need to drive there to see if he’s telling the truth, and that she won’t be there. I also bought a security camera I May or may not use to show the outside of his house to catch her out if she does show up at his house and then I will call the fucking police. I’ve had enough of her harassment. I can’t tell if I’m being irrational partly because of ocd or not

Fathomable

Date posted: 5y

Sounds like legit relationship issues to me. He's responsible for his own drinking, and the other abusive behaviour of his that you've described in other posts. It's interesting that you assume his ex is solo crazy rather than assuming that he's lying to you about what he says to her and how he interacts with her, though. I had a bf who painted his ex as psychotic and unstable, lied about her mental health etc. It turned out he is an utter sociopath who was also making up things about me behind my own back, and he hid the way he baited and engaged with his ex to produce this appearance that she was the problem. It sounds like ultimately you don't trust him and aren't comfortable with the positions he puts you in and the way he prioritises his own preferences and comfort over yours. Moving out seems like the right idea.

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

I’ve seen videos of her and texts of hers, he’s got scars from her violence over the years too, and she’s shown up at his house when I’m there and scarpered when she’s seen me. She’s also threatened to show up recently and been messaging me as if butter wouldn’t melt

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Sorry for my earlier response. I realize now I didn’t know enough about the situation to be giving advice.

uwotm8

Date posted: 5y

That’s okay no worries thanks for replying xx

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