Hi, I just got here. I’m kind of unsure about this because I don’t know if I even have OCD. Though, if I think about how I have problems with perfecting things and then stress about everything and can’t ever calm down, it kinda makes me wonder if I do have it. I don’t want to be like this anymore. I also don’t want to be annoying to my partner anymore so here I am.

Really? Is your therapist experienced treating OCD and using ERP? You could take the YBOCS and check for yourself where you are on the OCD continuum.

Same, my therapist made it worse by giving those thoughts more powerful. They also said ocd is a response to trauma.. but it can be genetic. I still haven’t been diagnosed but I’m pretty sure I’ve got it

@Fear Strikes Out Yes, he sees OCD patients and I guess uses ERP with them? It’s kind of complicated. I grew up around OCD family members. For years, I’ve caught myself before I get really stuck in those ruts they got in. I stopped myself checking boxes on the side of the road. I’d almost always pulled myself away from checking locks, ovens, stoves, lights, without checking *too* many times. Etc. But religious stuff got me all tied up in knots. My family and best friend said it was OCD. I saw a therapist. He said, “Just avoid the stuff that makes you anxious.” Two years later, I saw an ERP therapist who had OCD herself. She told me, “You believe your thoughts. ERP is just going to hurt you because you have to know at some level that the thought is irrational. I can’t help you.” Four years later, stuck and depressed, I saw my current therapist. He thinks I’m an over-controlling personality who is terrified of making mistakes who behaves obsessive-compulsively when she’a anxious. So, I’m on the OCD spectrum , but I’m not usually compulsing for hours a day (and then COVID flipped me out and i started compulsing for hours every day...). It makes sense. I’d got to some bizarre extremes to make sure I parked my car the right way, and I knew nobody else behaved that way, but I didn’t understand why. It made rational sense to me, even though I didn’t want to spend my time that way or look ridiculous. “But I can’t just break the rules because I want to,” was my thinking. So. There you go. I am doing ERP. My close friend has OCD, and we created hierarchies and are working on them. And my therapist is trying to help me overcome my rigid thinking which keeps me from even tackling many of the religious issues. Just this week, I told my friend I felt like an imposter, because my OCD isn’t that bad. She disagreed and brought of the religious issues that brought my life to a halt. I said, “I have a hard time even seeing those as OCD.” So. Hopefully the current therapist can help me with my perspective on rules. The end. Haha. Thanks for reading.

@Alyosha The typos......

@Alyosha OK, I think I understand a little better. Just a few thoughts. The first therapist that recommended that you avoid things that make you anxious... That's just flat out wrong from an ERP perspective. The statement from the second therapist is really bewildering to me. The comment that on some level you understand that the thoughts are irrational could describe most OCD sufferers regarding any type of manifestation of OCD. I realize that obsessions of a religious nature can be a bit more tricky, but a good OCD therapist could work with you on that. Much of that goes to the thought fallacies associated with Thought-Action Fusion. The current therapist almost makes it sound like you have OCPD with the reference to being over-controlling. Mind you, just one hour per day of obsessions and/or compulsions will meet one of the criteria for an OCD diagnosis. Thanks for sharing. Admittedly, there are probably more details than meets the eye with your situation. Nonetheless, it does provide a lot of clarity to your situation.

@Alyosha There's some perfectionism mixed in there, too. ?

@Fear Strikes Out Oh for sure to the perfectionism lol. I asked my therapist about OCPD. He thinks I have some of the traits but am too nice to people to meet the diagnostic criteria lol. So, I’m this weird conglomeration of OCPD/OCD/maladaptive perfectionism/product of strict environment/chronic depression. I decided that I shouldn’t get too stuck on labels. I have problems. I try things to fix them. Some things help, some don’t. Keep working on it. It does make it really difficult to figure out what my narrative is. I’m jealous of people who can state their narrative so simply: “I have OCD. This is how it looks in my life. This is how I get better.” My narrative changes with my mood: “I’m recovering from perfectionism” vs “I’m trying find excuses why I don’t have to be a good Christian.”

Welcome, by the way!

Absolutely no need to apologize. I used to do similar things. I can wholly relate to what you describe. For instance, it would bother me if I did not place a stamp on an envelope just perfectly symmetrical. Or, I always felt compelled to make sure that I closed the loop on the letter "d" or "a", etc, when writing something. The point is that I knew that it was all very trivial but the urge to "have to do it" overwhelmed the rational and logical part of my brain. This mindset and behavior was seemingly non-stop for years before being diagnosed for OCD and getting treatment. Does what I have said relate at all to what you are experiencing?

@Fear Strikes Out Yes it does. I don’t like getting so upset over these things but I always do. Then I’ll figure out ways to get better with certain things and maybe it’s just self awareness or maybe it’s just me trying hard enough. I also have intense anxiety and ADHD that seems to run my mind. The overthinking is just not okay anymore.

@thesaltyshell That's excellent insight on your part. The mindset we are discussing can make relationships of all kinds very challenging, as well as work and school. I wish I had a dollar for every minute I spent replaying something in my mind that resulted from not getting that "just right" feeling of perfection in my mind when doing something that my OCD hyper-focused on. I think it would probably make me a millionaire. School especially was very challenging for me because I had very high self-expectations which OCD loved to attach itself because it was important to me. Lots and lots of re-reading, re-writing/typing, and re-checking seemingly ad nauseam. I had issues with "bad" numbers, too. But, the very good news is that this is all very treatable with the right therapist trained in OCD treatment.

@Fear Strikes Out I’ve never known about OCD therapists but I know there is a therapist out there for what seems like everything. Thank you for all you’ve said. I have a habit of thinking I’m alone with my problems and no one else goes through it. I suppose I’ve got a case of chronic uniqueness ?. I really relate to a lot of things you said here and I’m grateful for that. I do a lot of things to myself that I no longer want to do and I’ve found ways to just stop. I don’t see why I can’t do that with this too.

@thesaltyshell Just keep an open mind about treatment down the road. Should you ever decide to seek OCD treatment, the first question to ask the therapist is "Do you treat OCD using Exposure and Response Prevention therapy?" If the response is no or "what is that?," keep searching. ERP works and its supported by research. All other counseling treatment modalities or gimmicks (EMDR, hypnosis, etc.) do not work and will be a waste of your time and money. Just a recommendation, reconsider trying to do this on your own. It is very difficult to overcome OCD on your own, in fact, next to impossible. Invest in your own well-being just as you would if you had a heart issue or diabetes. I can tell you that there is not a much better feeling than the feeling of being liberated from what you are experiencing. You are currently in a psychological prison. And, working with a trained OCD therapist will give you the best chance, and certainly more expeditious one, of a successful outcome than doing it on your own even in the remote chance you are successful. All the best!

@Fear Strikes Out Thank you so much I appreciate all of what you said. I’ll remember all of this. Thank you again!

Have you considered disputing what they say? If you don’t want to believe them, you don’t have to, and that could help. That’s what I would do, at least. If you don’t agree with a therapist, that’s okay. OCD can be a response to trauma or it can be genetic. The more you wonder if you agree with them, or don’t, and ask yourself if they validated your fears, the more concerned you will likely be. I can understand over thinking, but I also have to constantly remind myself how powerful the human brain is. As long as I remember that and allow myself the room to grow and work on myself, I can get through any crap that comes my way. You can too.