Hey, this is my first time posting and to be honest my first time really openly talking about my ocd so I’m just going to talk into the void and see if it helps. I’m having a really hard time right now and I’ve seen that for a lot of people here that NOCD has a good community of people. There’s a lot overall to unpack but right now the thing I’m really struggling with is contamination (particularly focused around death and what objects might have come into contact with people who have died, basically.. my wife’s grandmother just passed and I’m having a really awful time. My mother passed a few years ago, which caused me to get really sick and this is the first death I’ve dealt with since and with everything coming into the house that belonged to her (she died in her house.) I keep feeling worse and worse. (This plus covid has been.. awesome.) Multiple showers, hand washing, changing clothes.. I feel really frustrated with myself and completely ashamed because I’m obviously not being a good enough partner. My wife has been there.. she’s trying, she’ll shower or wash her hands if I ask but not without getting furious with me first, she acts as if I’m lying if I say she touched something that really bothers me. She takes it very personally and tells me that I don’t trust her enough (if I’m Anxious and need something repeated.) tonight I got called crazy and honestly I just feel like an ass of a person.

Welcome ? I encourage you to seek professional help. Personally, it jump-started my healing. Also, a therapist can help your wife learn more effective ways to help you while maintaining healthy boundaries. When loved ones participate in our OCD, our OCD gets worse and the relationship experiences strain and conflict. In the meantime, here are some articles about family issues related to OCD. Maybe you and your wife could read them and then discuss them together. https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/family-issues/

Welcome ☺! Have you looked into getting therapy?

Based on what you've shared it seems OCD is already ruining things. It would seem that you could go without treatment and have OCD almost guaranteed to ruin things or get treatment and maybe have the documentation ruin things.

I know exactly how you feel. I have severe contamination ocd after a triggering event a few years ago and it has made my life hell. My husband has been so supportive but I'm terrified that I'll never get better and it will eventually drive him away, which just adds to my anxiety and makes my compulsions worse. I am now seeking help for the first time since this all began. I'm nervous I'm too far gone but I have to try. I think maybe showing your wife YouTube videos or Ted talks about ocd might help. Thinking that you're not being a good enough partner is just going to make your situation worse. I'm sure you're a great partner, it's your ocd that is getting in the way. I've taken up the mantra "it's not me, it's my brain. It's not me, it's my ocd"...it doesnt always help in the moment but overall it reminds me that I didnt choose to be this way and that I'm doing my best. If you're not considering therapy, at least look into the book Brain Lock by Jefrrey Schwartz. It helped me a bit with reframing how I approach my obsessions and compulsions and it might give you something valuable too. Best of luck!