Morning y’all! My main themes are perfectionism, relationship and pure OCD. I’m seeing a new therapist who is GREAT and has finally recognised my problems as more OCD-like rather than generalised anxiety. She is helping me work through my OCD with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. I’d like to try and introduce some ERP using this app but I’m struggling to think of some exposures. I’d say my main issues are: • thoughts of what if I chose the wrong partner, what if I’m not actually attracted to him, what if I don’t love him • an overwhelming feeling of things ‘not being right’ eg sitting in the ‘wrong chair’ makes me feel uncomfortable/unsettled, and feeling calm and rested when things feel ‘just right’ • perfectionism to a ridiculous degree • worrying about being a ‘bad person’, upsetting and offending people, the idea of making mistakes makes me feel SUPER guilty and distressed • thinking that if I’d made the ‘right choices’ my I would be happy all of the time, and never question why I sometimes feel down & anxious I feel like the mental compulsions are the hardest to stop...half the time I don’t even realise I’m doing them (mentally reviewing etc). Hope this sort of makes sense! Hope you’re all doing ok ??

Thanks for your comment! I have also been guilty of excessive googling in the past! I’m trying mindfulness out, I hope I get something positive from it :)

By the way, a good book to read is Brene Brown's The Gifts of Imperfection. Perfectionism generally has a strong shame component to it.

Fear of making mistakes and not being able to deal with the guilt of making a mistake (particularly at work, I’m a paramedic), rumination about past mistakes, checking work/essays over and over for mistakes and only wanting to submit it when I feel like I’ve done a good enough job of checking for mistakes, overwhelming feelings of things ‘not being right’, constantly making sure I’ve done things right... To be honest, I’ve always just seen myself as a perfectionist and never thought my behaviour was harmful. It’s only recently that I’ve started getting help for relationship OCD that I’ve realise quite how preoccupied I get with things feeling ‘just right’ Sorry for the rambling ?

@cupcake55 Excellent description of how it impacts you. I am a recovered maladaptive perfectionist just like the one you described. I imagine that the behavior has been supported and justifiable in your mind because the results of it seem supportable by the generally positive outcomes. The truth is that it is doing much more harm than good in the form of poorer mental health. By doing all of the rechecking, you often will miss the proverbial forest for the trees because the hyper-focus is not on the content of what is being communicated but, instead, on not making spelling errors, grammatical errors, using the "right" verbiage, etc. The good news is that ERP and mindfulness can help you out of that trap. I also strongly recommend reading the Brene Brown book that I have already suggested.

@Fear Strikes Out You’re so right - I always achieve well academically and the 4 years I’ve been a paramedic I’ve never once made a career-ending mistake...thus proving that my perfectionist ways are ‘good’! It definitely seems to go hand in hand with the intrusive thoughts I’ve been experiencing. What exposures would you recommend to help? Obviously not checking so much for one ? I’ll check out that book, thanks. And congrats on your recovery!!