When I say you want to be X, it doesn't feel right anymore. The thoughts made me so numb that it feels like I'd be better off with what my thoughts are telling me which sucks. At the beginning, I was like I want to be straight, but now, it doesn't feel right :(((

Most HOCD sufferers are not homophobic at all, but it's very triggering for you to say something like this, especially to HOCD sufferers because it's not them. Please be more considerate of what you said!!! I'm not trying to offend you or anything, but you've certainly triggered many people!

@frghtfdfh That was really rude frghtfdfh, Morpheus was trying to challenge the OCD and put the fear in context, not "convince people they're gay" and it's not your responsibility or jurisdiction to tell other people to leave a support forum.

@stars And, avoiding all triggers is not a feasible or healthy prospect. The vast, vast majority of people's response to someone being scared of being gay, would be to suggest they relax their boundaries about it instead of putting up constant opposition to the idea, and to think more rationally about the "consequences". It's been EXTREMELY common on this app that women with HOCD describe being attracted to women and then the idea of being gay being terrifying to them and something which they resist and test in the same compulsions as the OP. Believe it or not, part of ERP and part of recovery is considering whether the problem is actually important or just *feels* incredibly scary. This user pointed out an obvious grey area and the fact that even if there IS any same sex attraction, it doesn't have to "mean" anything whatsoever.

"and?" If it's just that easy to brush off as "and?", then why do we suffer from HOCD? i know what you're trying to say, but we all know that OCD is not an identity crisis thing or experiment or discovery, it's a doubting disease, and most sufferers are not homophobic. people suffer from HOCD because they enjoy and are comfortable in their sexualities. they suffer from HOCD because they don't like the idea of engaging in homosexual acts, not because "it's wrong". then suddenly their lives were m "what if" that turned into an obsession. nothing wrong if people are gay/bi. but human sexuality is so important to our identities, whether it's a crime to be a homosexual or not , is not the problem. it's something you are not. imagine applying that statement to POCD and Incest OCD "so what if you sexually like little children? as long as you don't actually touch them, it's not a crime" "so? i mean, it's okay to think about raping/fucking your sister and lustfully look at her, as long as you don't act on it" your comment seemed like it belittled and invalidated ocd. it's not about whether it's wrong or a crime, it's about the person not being that. again, nothing wrong with trying to challenge the OCD, but you could have worded it better. sorry if i reacted this way, i'm just tired of people seeing HOCD as a joke.

@thegazz Actually, the way you applied those statements to POCD and incest OCD are a big and relevant part of treatment. Seperating scary feelings and scary possibilities from scary consequences. The only way anyone ever gets past an OCD theme is by stopping resisting the scary possibility and the scary feelings and allowing them to be an open question in your life. Talking about how thoughts aren't the same as actions or crimes helps people to open up to the idea that they don't have to neutralise the scary possibilities all the time, because the "worst case scenario" isn't all that bad. Sure, you do get deeply ignorant people who judge others based on their kinks, which we know medically and have known for *years* are not their choice or an indication of anything negative about their personality. But we can't spend our lives going through hell because of what other people might think. People who are attracted to their sister or children deserve to live too, y'know. Acting on it is precisely where the difference between unfortunate and immoral comes in. Absorbing that distinction is a crucial step to getting better. I used to have zoophilia OCD for years, you know how I got over it? Step ONE was to take on board the idea that if it was true I might actually still deserve to *live*. You can't get people to actually face and their fears without neutralising them until you actually make the prospect of them being true into a genuinely manageable possibility. It's the same for any category of OCD: health OCD, people dying OCD, getting fired OCD, you name it.

Yes, but I don't know anymore. I'm super confused at this point