Literally don’t know where to start with my weight. I’m 5ft 6 and weigh 154lbs (11stone). I want to weigh 126 again. I dunno whether to get liposuction or not? Normal weight loss doesn’t work and starving is all that ever gave me results but even that seems too slow. My boyfriend swears I don’t look any different but I know I put a stone and a half on since we met. I have savings but I wanted that for a house one day. I can’t stop obsessing over how much I fucking detest my body lately and how much better all other women are that are obviously thinner than I am - EVEN women who have had babies and I haven’t. I have no business being bigger than someone who has had fucking children. How did I let this happen? I am repulsed by myself. I don’t even cry I just feel pure rage at it.

The words you use to describe yourself are heartbreaking: “repulsed by myself,” “pure rage,” “fucking detest my body,” “how much better all other women are,” “why can’t I have more self-discipline?” It sounds like you’re in so much pain. You have two entities involved in this: your mind and your body. Your mind says all those things to your body, and then turns around and puts all this pressure on it to be better than it is. Imagine that being a parent/child relationship. The parent absolutely verbally beats the kid up for her weight, and then basically tells her “I won’t love you until you’re thin.” That kid is never gonna change. She can’t. She’s drowning in the hatred from the person who’s supposed to care her. If I were your body and you talked to me the way you talk to your body, I don’t know if I’d have the strength to change. Maybe try a different tactic. Maybe take a a week or a month of from even mentioning the word “weight” to yourself, and do things that take care of your body because your body needs some love after what it’s been through before it’s going to trust that your mind actually has its best interests at heart. I hope that helps. I got a little advice-y...

Are you in contact with some sort of mental health professional? In the end it is your choice but I would maybe talk to someone to work through some of your body issues before you make a big decision like liposuction. Nutritionist and personal trainers might also be someone who can help you feel healthier overall. I’ve struggled with issues with my body my whole life so I feel for you I really do.