A few months ago, I randomly started developing obsessive complusions. It came on so suddenly that it made me question if I was just making it up. I do not remember anything in my childhood of me acting this way, all I knew was that I was a perfectionist, who liked to keep everything clean, however I do not at all remember this being linked to a complusion I had to do because of anxiety. I have also had fears but never acted on them until recently. My first complusion like I said started a few months ago and it was regarding social media. I guess you can say I am a cautious person who gets paranoid easily, I remember being afraid that somebody would hack my account or that I would accidentally post something without knowing. This caused me a great deal of anxiety and I found myself constantly reloading my page more than several times to make sure nothing was posted before I went out of my account. I would do this 6 times because that is how many family members I have and I would sometimes get random intrusive thoughts that were unrelated to my fear telling me that if I wouldn't do it that many times something would happen to them, so I did and after doing it 6 times, my mind would tell me to do it another 6 times, just to make sure. That lead me to do it another 6 times and so on. I would do this until it felt 'right' or until my mind left me alone. This made me feel drained as I was spending my time doing this when I didn't want to. I would also log out of my account or turn the internet or the power of my phone off just because I was still paranoid. It got to a day that I had a breakdown because it felt overwhelming. I have overly strict parents who rarely let me go out so I would communicate with my friends through social platforms and since I didn't have anything 'fun' to do, I would just browse through posts etc. I decided with the help of my sister that it was defiently time to delete my account for the best of my wellbeing. Once doing that I improved alot and my complusion disappeared. I thought it would of been the end of it but I was wrong because I found myself developing more. I remember when I used to read or watch tv shows with subtitles, I would miss a sentence because I was too slow to read, so I would go back check. Once I realised what it had said, I found myself going back to read the same sentence multiple times because my mind would say the same thing about my family being in danger if I hadn't, so I kept doing it over and over. I don't watch shows that often or read much anymore so it disappeared. I then would check doors each night as I was frightened of an intruder breaking in, I would stare at the lock for a while even though my mother checks it each night before me. I still have this but the symptoms are very minimum. I also checked switches to see if they were off each night before going to bed. My very recent complusion has been bothering me the most because it is one I started having a few weeks ago and it is relating to germs. Everytime I go to the toilet, I have to wipe the toilet seat a couple of times and if my finger touched it, I would start again. I was afraid that i might give a disease to my family members or get one myself. I would do it until it felt alright to stop. I would only to these complusions for at least 1-4 minutes so it was mild but it would cause me alot of distress and I was unable to control them successfully because I would go back to performing them. I think I'm starting to avoid going to the toilet because I do not want to perform this complsuion. I now have to hand sanitise things I touch that belong to my family members because of the anxiety that fills my head. I develop small ones now when im doing day to day tasks. I am thinking of going to therapy soon but I am trying not to procrastinate on it because I also have to talk about other things that have been making me feel sad lately. Does this sound like ocd?

I’m hoping to get some feedback or hear if anyone else experiences similar things. Lately, I’ve been noticing a lot of repetitive behaviors and thoughts that feel hard to control. Some of those things are: - I often get this uneasy feeling, and if I don’t do certain things in a specific way, it just doesn’t feel "just right." - I have to wash my hands until it feels "just right," and if I try not to, I get a thought that something bad will happen if I don’t. - I dislike using public bathrooms and even shared bathrooms at home. - When I shower, I have to wear socks before stepping on the floor. If my feet touch the ground, I feel like I have to shower again. - I get hyper-fixated on cuts, worrying about them getting infected, and I avoid touching water or anything else to prevent bacteria, even if I can’t cover them with a bandaid. - I can’t use dishes that have just been washed because I think they haven’t been cleaned properly. Instead, I use the ones that have already been dried and stored. When I type (like on emails or texts), I’ll fix what I write over and over, trying to make it "just right." - I have a strange dislike for certain numbers (7, 4, and 6) and feel uncomfortable around them. - I also have to follow routines, like making my bed in a certain way, and I can’t stop until everything is in the right order. - I get stuck on intrusive thoughts, like needing to wash my hands repeatedly or constantly checking things (like if I turned off the stove) because I fear something bad will happen if I don’t. - I’ll even repeat things in my head, like words or phrases, to make the "just right" feeling go away. - Sometimes, I treat inanimate objects like they have feelings and worry about hurting them, even though I know it's not real. - I’ve always felt like I’m being watched, which causes a lot of distress. There’s more, but these are some of the main things. I feel like these thoughts and behaviors control a lot of my day, and I just can’t stop them even when I know they’re kind of irrational. Does this sound like it could be signs of OCD, or is it something else? Or just normal behavior?

Hey, so idk if I have ocd, I would like to think I’m a very self aware person but I don’t wanna self diagnose at all, lmk what you guys think. So pretty much my whole life since I was young I remember having irrational fears im sure it was all trauma induced but when I was a kid I thought my father was poisoning me until I asked him, he started crying and was so shocked that I could ever even think that, my parents broke up when I was legit fresh out the womb, mom worked two jobs and disciplined me, dad let me do whatever on the weekends and got me snacks so I was obsessed with him so obsessed that it was mandatory for me to kiss his picture 20x everyday before school. Growing up I always felt followed by cameras or like someone out there was recording me waiting for me to do something embarrassing to expose me in front of the whole world and my life was over 🤣🤣 I thought my abusive ex bf was stalking me through my I phone camera after we broke up and it would truly stress me out, it made me believe that it was the reason he never reached out again bc I probably looked ugly in the camera he was stalking me through. If I fall out with a friend Ill over analyze everything to see if I did anything wrong and god forbid while I’m self reflecting I realize I did something wrong I feel like an evil person, verbatim the people I fall out with is bc they’ve done me wrong in some way and it has to b something hurtful or repeated mistakes for me to really stay away for good, so I’ll beat myself up for making mistakes with another person who’s made the same amount of mistakes if not more and in most cases I always fall short, and this when I question if it’s ocd or I’m just to self aware and see the ugly in me bc I’m not perfect and it’s just makes me feel so unsettled but again that’s a normal feeling and the next step is to forgive yourself and do better moving forward, not obsess over it like your trying to convince yourself you’re a good person. I’m also hot tempered and will say hurtful things when I’m mad I’m definitely a crash out in the way, you push my bottoms way too many times and I will shred you, and I’ll say things ik will hurt you and that’s just so low, then the anger goes away and I have to face the guilt, which makes my “ocd” 100x worse, it almost feels like I have to do everything right to not trigger it yet again I don’t have the self control to do it all right, I actually have a lot bpd tendencies again not diagnosing but I’m just trying to understand my brain. I worry about dying, getting a terminal illness. uti turning into kidney infection then into cancer kind of thing, knowing that life in general can b tragic is so scary to me, like what will be my story? What will be my life experience?. I believe that people see right through me and discuss it amongst each other, I always tell myself I am not that important but I can’t seem to shake it off sometimes. When I would break up with my ex I would have pre written paragraphs ready to b send if he ever decided to reach back and I would do this to make sure I didn’t forget a single thought, that every point i felt I need to prove was there, and that bothers me bc do I want win an argument or fix the issue. All of these feelings make me feel so pathetic and embarrassed people move on with their lives and I’m still stuck on something that happened 3 yrs ago. Then I’ll get manic get a tattoo, change my hair, go out clubbing do what I can to b the sexy young girl that I am and it helps in the moment but it worsens my mental after the euphoria is gone. I’m currently staying home, not going out, have only 1 friend so I feel like ocd progressively got worse now, I don’t remember it getting this bad in a while. lmk what you guys think don’t judge or think I’m embarrassing I’m actually so cool and if have to convince you I’m cool I will LMFAOO no but fr help

Hello, I’m new to this app. I’ve always had an anxious brain, and I’ve had coping mechanisms for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, from as early as I could spell, until I was probably early teens, I would constantly write words in my head along to the beat of music. It’s such a vivid memory because I never stopped doing it. The word had to perfectly match up to the lyric and I loved that it kept my brain busy. I grew out of that, but felt like good context. My anxiety increased drastically around ages 17-19, and I began therapy. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and panic disorder, due to having a panic attack nearly every day at that time. I overcame that as well, and now the panic attacks are every now and then, but the anxiety is constant, and some recent symptoms have led me to believe I might have some form of OCD. Maybe not. I’m trying to understand myself and get better so I joined this app to make sense of things. Lately I’ve been having really intense intrusive thoughts. I’m really embarassed and they make me feel like a bad person. Thoughts pop in my head seemingly out of nowhere. It will be an image of me harming myself or someone else in a really bad way. (Trigger warning) for example the other day I couldn’t shake the image of me putting a knife through my own forehead, although it’s not something I want to do. Or I’ll imagine someone killing me. I imagine my loved ones dying often. The thoughts feel so out of my control it’s insane. I hate them. Another persistent issue that isn’t as new is replaying social scenarios. I’m a hairstylist so this one is difficult since I meet a bunch of new people every day. I obsess over how I act and if people like me. I will impulsively say things all the time and they will haunt me for weeks. I question even my closest friends and family who show their love. I find myself so angry and numb and like I have so much built up emotion and a busy mind always. While doing my job I spiral really badly if any little thing goes wrong and it’s embarassing. I know there’s more but I can’t think of it now. I just want to feel better and like I’m not constantly battling my mind.