- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you very much. Its in November
- Date posted
- 4y
It’s also possible that yours was better, and therefore the other student’s was easier to respond to due to its simplicity or relevance to their level of knowledge. Of course do not over attach to that idea, but it’s very helpful to acknowledge that there are likely possibilities you aren’t thinking about, and therefore let in the possibility into your head that everything might just be okay, even if it is hard to accept
- Date posted
- 4y
Ever read either of the books by Brene Brown, "Daring Greatly" or "The Joys of Imperfection"? I think you would benefit from its wisdom on never feeling like you are enough.
- Date posted
- 4y
No I haven't....whats the main premise of it? Idk.....i think if i would've found the book to help me through all my issues i would have memoruzed it by now.
- Date posted
- 4y
You will not get past your preoccupation with making mistakes or seeking "perfection" until you acknowledge and deal with the underlying shame that is driving it.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Fear Strikes Out I have.....a little. Not with the source though. I....think i know how to confront this shame but its just not time yet. And i know that's worse for this moment bcuz nothing is the 'perfect time'. ......im ready and not
- Date posted
- 4y
I've had this experience in my classes too. It's really frustrating and can trigger insecurity to bubble up to the surface Something to consider: if the person posted their assignment before you, they've had more time to get responses. Also, many people write their replies at the same time they post their assignment. That means that if you submitted yours after most of the class (and there's NOTHING wrong with that), most other people may have already written their replies.
- Date posted
- 4y
There is some truth to that. I see that as a possibility for my situation. But I know, no matter what I think I can do, its just not perfect. I know its impossible but this is just a hard time wrestling with my insecurity and needing to be way past the lines of fault.
- Date posted
- 4y
Being satisfied with "good enough' is a struggle
- Date posted
- 4y
@NOCD Advocate - Katie Even more so for the person who does not think that they are "good enough."
- Date posted
- 4y
Story of my life. I just.....need to talk with someone I trust, someone who can help me through this esteem....but thats more money money money and the free counseling at school is just okay. I used to have tools to help me through. Now, they're not what they were
- Date posted
- 4y
What were your tools before?
- Date posted
- 4y
A counselor that moved and physical friends within my reach. There is always texting though
- Date posted
- 4y
Texting is good, but not as good as in person. Perhaps there are other ways you could build self confidence
- Date posted
- 4y
.....positive thoughts are hard to believe at this second, telling myself that its better doesn't quite work. I'm not sure
- Date posted
- 4y
What about actions?
- Date posted
- 4y
That helps confidence? ....im nottt sure...
- Date posted
- 4y
Do you spend much time studying?
- Date posted
- 4y
@Fear Strikes Out All the time. Its almost my way of coping, to be better than who i wasn't
- Date posted
- 4y
One theory (ARC model) suggests that we build healthy self esteem through Attachment (aka healthy relationship), Regulation (aka, effectively managing emotions, being able to notice and respond to your body's needs) and Competence (developing mastery of skills). Competence is often the way to see quickest gains. Learning a new skill, bug or small, boosts our self esteem.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Klaire Do you ever find yourself re-reading, re-writing, and/or re-checking school work more than once or twice for any mistakes?
- Date posted
- 4y
@Fear Strikes Out Yes and just to make sure I've grasped the whole picture. I don't want to leave anything out. That also could just be my personality
- Date posted
- 4y
@Klaire It's anxiety/OCD related. I know, as I was one of those people in school some years ago. I had a huge underlying fear of failure when it came to academics. But, at the same time, I also enjoyed the positive results...good grades and recognition/praise from others. The cost, though, was frequent emotional exhaustion and the sacrifice of other important aspects that lead to a balanced life.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Klaire Read the "Joys of Imperfection" book that I recommended.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Fear Strikes Out Do you ever take longer than what reasonably should be required to send an email or text message because you keep revising it?
- Date posted
- 4y
@Fear Strikes Out Oh I know this for sure! However, it manifests mostly as contamination related and fueled by the need for control. I know its irrational and it's all tied by esteem, acceptance, overall performance and image. Just being enough academically is one of my main fears, its always been.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Klaire By the way, congratulations on your inevitable graduation. What is your field of study?
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you, I'll look into this....it can definitely help to learn more. I know its just hard to deal with this stuff and be sane at the same time
- Date posted
- 4y
Oh man, this is one of the pitfalls of online school that feels like getting picked on teams for gym class all over again. Studying psychology and science means you know that this is correlation; the number of classmates choosing to respond to your entry has no causation to you grade. You got this!!!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
TW I’m feeling really bad about myself today. I feel like a fraud and a liar. I’ve been unable to enjoy my time with my girlfriend because I’m bombarded with my thoughts. I’ve been asking for reassurance from so many people and nothing is helping. Nothing makes me feel better anymore and I’m worried that this is just how it’s going to be for forever. I miss when I could just be happy and not overthink so much. I miss being able to get through my days without this crippling anxiety. I’m worried there’s going to be a day where I realize I have no fight left in me
- Date posted
- 15w
I've had this app for awhile and was really nervous to post,comment or like anything.I still am,and frankly I've been having a really rough time which mostly includes ocd symptom,guilt/shame and agoraphobia which is not a fun combo but a small part of me is so tired of hiding and feeling awful all the time,even if at times I feel like I deserve it.I've been wanting to dabble into my hobbies like drawing or gaming but even my hobbies have been stressful & these negative feelings have been so awful for so long that I feel like I'm standing between two roads all the time yet feel horrified and worried either path when it comes to almost any decision will be wrong or not worth it in the end(and I hate that I feel like so.).I'm sure people can relate but the heavy loneliness and dehumanizing feelings is so awful,it's so good at it too.😭 I'm not diagnosed yet but I share alot of symptoms (interested to figure that out about myself soon.),but until I get medical insurance figured out I don't think I'll have access to professional help yet so for now I've just been watching some professionals online and I might finally read 'Freedom From Obsessive Personality Disorder' and see what it can offer.ANYWAYS,I'm trying to force myself to post so I can to people irl and online in any way I can train my brain to not stay so terrified of everything/everyone so,how has your day been?I hope it's been going well,if you've read this book or have any good suggests please feel free to let me know!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 14w
This is just a vent. Feels nice to just be honest about who I am and my deficiencies. Mental health advocates are always like "you deserve to live no matter what" and I'm like "bet lol" I am not a good person whose presence has any positive impact on the world. I'm not evil, just useless without having the excuse of depression or whatever (it's anxiety based but again who gives a shit). If I were to go away, I wouldn't be missed because I contribute nothing of note. If we did not live in the US where you can get by without being socially accepted as long as you have loving parents, I would either be dead or would have stepped up and might actually be a valuable member of society (like between being dead and pushing through my anxiety I would probably choose the latter lol). Interpersonally, I have no redeeming qualities. No I'm not one of those people who says that shit and then lists all the ways they're actually decent but just have low self-esteem, I'm genuinely useless. I'm unreliable when it comes to group projects and my job, usually doing the bare minimum or less than that. When it comes to my work in general, I tend to drop the ball, often waiting till the last minute to get started on it, turning it in late, or simply not turning it in at all. I make promises about the things I will do and then don't do them. I also lack initiative and just follow orders. Socially, I don't have any friends and don't make an effort to try to gain any - I tend to act distant in social interactions and don't join in when people are having group conversations. I'm a talented artist, but the only work I've ever shown others in the last few years has been shoddy, amateurish, and completely unreflective of my abilities, and I've never been complimented for it lol. How do I feel about all this? Pretty freaking bad, yet I make no effort to change. I'm afraid of most things so I avoid them, screwing up my own life and negatively affecting other people's as well. Despite all this, I have this desire to be accepted by someone else as I am. The fact that I accept myself shows that it's possible, I guess (you could argue that I don't have a choice but I definitely chose to be okay with myself after years of self-loathing). I have a shit-ton of flaws and nothing to really offset them - I mean I'm self-aware but I think self-awareness is completely useless if you don't do anything about what you've observed in yourself, and less self-aware people are able to take more risks - and I just have this fantasy of someone showing up and looking at all that I am and being like "you have contributed literally nothing to society and you have no redeeming qualities but I accept you as you are and love you, for no reason other than I just do." But based on the comics I've read this can only happen if you're childhood friends who've known each other for a long time lol. No reason someone's gonna want to be friends with some random person who leaves a poor first impression and doesn't do anything to further the relationship. The plus side of this is that I have a /lot/ of room for growth, lots of things to change that could make me a better person. The negative side is that it is still just as hard to not be avoidant af as it was yesterday
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