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- 5y
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Thank you very much. Its in November
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- 5y
It’s also possible that yours was better, and therefore the other student’s was easier to respond to due to its simplicity or relevance to their level of knowledge. Of course do not over attach to that idea, but it’s very helpful to acknowledge that there are likely possibilities you aren’t thinking about, and therefore let in the possibility into your head that everything might just be okay, even if it is hard to accept
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- 5y
Ever read either of the books by Brene Brown, "Daring Greatly" or "The Joys of Imperfection"? I think you would benefit from its wisdom on never feeling like you are enough.
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No I haven't....whats the main premise of it? Idk.....i think if i would've found the book to help me through all my issues i would have memoruzed it by now.
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You will not get past your preoccupation with making mistakes or seeking "perfection" until you acknowledge and deal with the underlying shame that is driving it.
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@Fear Strikes Out I have.....a little. Not with the source though. I....think i know how to confront this shame but its just not time yet. And i know that's worse for this moment bcuz nothing is the 'perfect time'. ......im ready and not
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- 5y
I've had this experience in my classes too. It's really frustrating and can trigger insecurity to bubble up to the surface Something to consider: if the person posted their assignment before you, they've had more time to get responses. Also, many people write their replies at the same time they post their assignment. That means that if you submitted yours after most of the class (and there's NOTHING wrong with that), most other people may have already written their replies.
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- 5y
There is some truth to that. I see that as a possibility for my situation. But I know, no matter what I think I can do, its just not perfect. I know its impossible but this is just a hard time wrestling with my insecurity and needing to be way past the lines of fault.
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- 5y
Being satisfied with "good enough' is a struggle
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@NOCD Advocate - Katie Even more so for the person who does not think that they are "good enough."
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Story of my life. I just.....need to talk with someone I trust, someone who can help me through this esteem....but thats more money money money and the free counseling at school is just okay. I used to have tools to help me through. Now, they're not what they were
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What were your tools before?
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A counselor that moved and physical friends within my reach. There is always texting though
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Texting is good, but not as good as in person. Perhaps there are other ways you could build self confidence
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.....positive thoughts are hard to believe at this second, telling myself that its better doesn't quite work. I'm not sure
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What about actions?
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That helps confidence? ....im nottt sure...
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Do you spend much time studying?
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@Fear Strikes Out All the time. Its almost my way of coping, to be better than who i wasn't
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One theory (ARC model) suggests that we build healthy self esteem through Attachment (aka healthy relationship), Regulation (aka, effectively managing emotions, being able to notice and respond to your body's needs) and Competence (developing mastery of skills). Competence is often the way to see quickest gains. Learning a new skill, bug or small, boosts our self esteem.
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@Klaire Do you ever find yourself re-reading, re-writing, and/or re-checking school work more than once or twice for any mistakes?
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@Fear Strikes Out Yes and just to make sure I've grasped the whole picture. I don't want to leave anything out. That also could just be my personality
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@Klaire It's anxiety/OCD related. I know, as I was one of those people in school some years ago. I had a huge underlying fear of failure when it came to academics. But, at the same time, I also enjoyed the positive results...good grades and recognition/praise from others. The cost, though, was frequent emotional exhaustion and the sacrifice of other important aspects that lead to a balanced life.
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@Klaire Read the "Joys of Imperfection" book that I recommended.
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@Fear Strikes Out Do you ever take longer than what reasonably should be required to send an email or text message because you keep revising it?
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@Fear Strikes Out Oh I know this for sure! However, it manifests mostly as contamination related and fueled by the need for control. I know its irrational and it's all tied by esteem, acceptance, overall performance and image. Just being enough academically is one of my main fears, its always been.
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@Klaire By the way, congratulations on your inevitable graduation. What is your field of study?
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Thank you, I'll look into this....it can definitely help to learn more. I know its just hard to deal with this stuff and be sane at the same time
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Oh man, this is one of the pitfalls of online school that feels like getting picked on teams for gym class all over again. Studying psychology and science means you know that this is correlation; the number of classmates choosing to respond to your entry has no causation to you grade. You got this!!!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Hey everyone so I am having a really terrible bout of anxiety due to an exam I have tomorrow. It has sent me spiraling. And unfortunately my ROCD/anxiety has gotten ridiculously triggered. So I had a birthday party this past weekend. I got all dressed up and put on some cute makeup. It was a lot of fun. I then posted some pics from the party, some of them included him. They were cute! I had never posted him in anything in my feed. So I was a little nervy. I was hoping he would comment something on the post or repost or something, but he just dropped a like. I feel like he usually comments on posts that he is tagged in, so for some reason this really hurt me that he didn’t comment or interact more with it. Like he doesn’t like I posted it? Or is he ashamed of me? I don’t want to be shallow, but some validation on social media would be nice? Or maybe him just posting me would feel nice. I want to talk to him about this, but I am so terrified that this will make me seem so shallow and a fein for public validation. I’m worried he thinks this of me, as I have posted on social media. I’m worried this makes him like me less. Someone please provide some expertise on how it would be best to handle these circumstances, as silly and minescule as they may seem. I’ve read a lot online (I know it’s not good) about how to handle relationships online. I know it’s more important obviously how the relationship appears offline. But I’ve been pretty obsessive about this and have a hard time letting it go. Part of me wished I never posted anything. All of this anxiety could have been avoided.
- Date posted
- 22w
I don’t know what I can do. I guess this is more of a depression thing than OCD but who knows. I have been battling this ongoing war within myself for years now and it’s been affecting my academic performance. situation of mine right now: I haven’t done a lot of work for my classes this month and I feel like I’m going to fail the semester again. I don’t know what it is but I can never seem to begin any work. I know I am capable but why can’t I get myself to start? why has this been going on for so long? I don’t understand. I have a history of good grades back in high school before I turned 17. I don’t even know how to describe it. it’s like I’ve been paralyzed and cannot do any work. but I can somehow do offside tasks like pinterest boards or random youtube videos. if I get rid of those, what do I do? I end up sleeping. because I’m tired. I have a low vitamin D deficiency & have been trying to get energy. I’m at a loss. I also bought unnecessary stuff on sunday when I went out with my family. I bought some things for the kids and I ended up buying myself a dress and a few accessories. now I have to work extra to gain that money back doing uber eats because I need it asap. it’s like I don’t want to work, for now. my coworkers who are around my age don’t work as much & I think to myself, “wow, they must be getting in the work done” meanwhile I’m working 3 days a week (which isn’t much) and attending school. I feel like if I change my schedule again, I’ll ruin it for the rest of my driver coworkers. I’m in a lead position at work so having to put on a mask is quite tiring. there’s so much I want to say that I don’t think it will fit in this post. I have booked a mental health session with a school counselor. all I want at the moment is to have my own place and be in a better mental state to take care of my cats. they mean a lot to me but this stupid ass undiagnosed mental issue is getting in the way. sorry for the long rant. I am tired.
- Date posted
- 21w
i am a freshman in college and i have always struggled with depression, anxiety, and OCD. i have never received help for my OCD despite being medicated for my other two issues. i have noticed that what most of my panic stems from is my OCD and more specifically my OCD around school. i haven’t been able to get myself up for class for multiple days and im starting to panic about everything im missing and think about every little thing i have to fix. i am so behind that it makes me want to panic and i feel like i cant fix this. i just want my mind to feel normal but it feels like my whole world is falling apart all because i am feeling stuck in school. please help me i just want to feel okay but i dont know how to. i have tried doing all the assignments i can do to catch up but it isn’t enough i still feel so panicked
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