Real Event OCD TW Please help me I dont want to self harm myself As I read an article about sibling abuse I was talking with a guy on tiwtch while I am streaming. I talked about what I did when I was younger with my sister. I abused my older sister as far as I remember. But my mom says : you did nothing and even if you did its in the past. My sister has forgiven me but I cant. I cant even tell what is true or false. I am scared of myself. I hate myself and I want to hurt myself again as self punishment. I will call my suicide hotline in my country its 188 so no need to worry. Somebody help me.

Please. What should I do?

@Newstage Why do you actually self harm? What are the factors or feelings or maybe avctivities that makes you self harm?

@Believe Its a way I think of punishment for my mistakes, for what I did

@Newstage So it is guilt? Or a way or self purification? Or maybe to make you feel better in the short term?

@Believe All of them I think. The guilt mainly.

@Newstage You mentioned real event OCD in the post. Even when you know its the doubt in the end that is making you self harm, why do you still do it?

@Believe Because I feel like I deserve to suffer. This happen too when I hear something related to pocd, but mostly my real event ocd

@Newstage You feel like, it is not the truth. Are you in therapy? Because they make you learn how to separate feelings from your beliefs. We people who have OCD cant prove the thoughts wrong, and so we cant prove to ourself that what we are doing shouldnt be done. (compulsions). So we learn to distinguish thoughts, feelings and actions. We bear anxiety forcefully so that our body gets to know its okay, and the compulsions too starts to leave when you dont pay attention to them by lowering or maybe even setting aside your anxiety. It is necessary for us to not go with what our thoughts and feelings always say, because they arent always true.

@Believe Actually not in therapy. I need to search for a specialist. But you said well. I need to know how to separate my feelings from my beliefs. I will try harder to let the thoughts come and go.

@Newstage Its a relief you're working on yourself. You can talk with me anytime you feel harming yourself. My snap id is beliv_able. If I dont respond there, just reply back here in one of these comments. We also have a small group of people having OCD, on Snapchat. Wanna join us?