So after going for things way too high in my hierarchy list thinking I could handle them and failing, I’m now left feeling worse by far. I reverted to my safety behaviours and routines But because my ocd is primarily to do with mental contamination, I’ve mentally contaminated some things i really love doing, hobbies - and now I no longer feel the same way about them because they feel contaminated as well as bring back bad memories. This has left. Me feeling really down, what can I do to get back those feelings of love for these things that I had, is it even possible? I notice that I’m now avoiding doing them because it reminds me of what I’ve lost Any suggestions would be much appreciated

That’s what I did too when I started with the hierarchy list or I would skip the minor things, thinking when I am able to conquer the more anxiety provoking ones then I probably won’t even think of the small ones anymore. But that’s not how it work, at least for me. The best way I personally believe is to climb the ERP ladder. Meaning starting with the first smallest step on your hierarchy list.

And what do you mean exactly by mentally contaminated? Because for me personally I think of mentally contaminated as being, they technically aren’t contaminated but your ocd has labeled them contaminated because something or someone at one point touched them and that person was an ex and therefore if I touch that now then that would be like cheating on my bf to have another mans “germs” especially an ex’s on me or my hands. Sorry that may be not be at all near what your explaining. I’m just trying to understand

Well we know the fears are irrational. And I once heard on a podcast called, OCD Stories, “do the opposite” that your ocd is telling you to do. So along with ERP. Keeping those 3 words in the back of my head has actually helped. So I don’t know if you have made a hierarchy list but I strongly suggest doing that and listing them in order from least anxiety provoking to most anxiety provoking. And no matter how small your least anxiety one is, always remembered, that’s still a win! So what I have done and am still doing is climbing what I call my ERP ladder. From the 1st step and up. But obviously doing these exposures is going to cause anxiety you need to go into it knowing this and prepared for this. So for me breathing techniques work well and also then moving my attention to something else so I am not constantly thinking about it. And for my and if you put the effort in, minute by minute your anxiety will lessen. And since you said they were hobbies you used to do.. maybe try starting them in small amounts of time and slowly build up.

And as far as feeling like something is forever contaminated, my OCD wants to answer yes to that. BUT logically the answer is no! And that’s what we have to do think logically! If you really think about it not too much can be forever contaminated. Germs die. Cold viruses die. Flu viruses die. Even sperm dies after being exposed for a period of time. So for me personally I combat the irrational part of the OCD with fact or what some may call common sense. My therapist basically told me to “debate” with my OCD by using logic.

Hi stef thanks for the advice! Yes it’s similar to how you’ve explained but just a different ocd fear. How do you cope if you did touch the contimated object/person? Do you feel like it’s forever contaminated, do you having any strategies for dealing with this, thanks again