StefH

Date posted: 5y

not seeking reassurance just wondering if anyone can relate... my contamination OCD has many things throughout my house that I avoid, but I find myself THINKING I touched them when I walk by them or got too close. Does anyone else experience this? And how do you handle it? Because the “WHAT IFS” have been kicking my ass lately! I just want to enjoy my life and stop walking on eggshells everywhere! Even in public! A 15 minute target run turns into an hour because I have to avoid walking to close to others or if a kid runs to close to me I have to put everything back and get a different one of each because my OCD tells me then I’m taking these “germs” home with me...

bonjess

Date posted: 5y

I'm the same. If I walk past the rubbish bin, I think did I just touch that. Or when washing my hands , I think did my finger just touch the sink , and then I'll wash again, or did my sleeve touch the sink. The clothes become contaminated so go in the wash pile. I don't know why the sink bothers me so much , I guess its cause I feel it's dirty from washing my hands.

catattak

Date posted: 5y

I'm the same with the sink. And it's as if it doesnt matter if I clean it, it's like it gets dirty again as soon as someone washes in it.

bonjess

Date posted: 5y

@catattak Yeh I would love a germ expert to talk to me about these things and put my mind at ease that the sink is fine etc .. I need the scientific / expert opinions to shut my brain down and silence the doubts and what iffs

StefH

Date posted: 5y

YES! I deal with the same thing like washing my hands several times and I go through so many clothes because if my foot touched my shorts (especially at bed time) then they have to get re washed! Or if they fall from the dryer on the floor=back to the washer they go! It’s sooo frustrating because not only is it more work but I spend so much money on laundry detergent and my water bill and everything! And my BF and I just bought our first house so having all these utility bills and then having them be so much higher because of my OCD just makes me sooo angry!

catattak

Date posted: 5y

@StefH I'm the same with too much clothes washing. I literally am just dealing with it now in terms of letting it go but I really think that's my meds doing it and erp working. If I wash my hands and some soap splashes on my shirt before I feel my hands were clean (meaning the soap splash wasnt clean either) it drives me bonkers. Previously that would have made me change my shirt. Now I'm just sitting with it. And honestly like my hands try not to touch that specific spot during the day but at least I'm not changing my shirt anymore and I hope I keep progressing.

StefH

Date posted: 5y

@catattak Yes! That is progress!!! That’s awesome! As far as ERP what are you doing to reduce the amount laundry of laundry

StefH

Date posted: 5y

I have found using this app helpful not only to communicate with others because OCD isn’t as rare as we may feel it is but it’s not like talking to people about a sport or something so I find it helpful to know you’re not alone and to hear different stories and what has and hasn’t worked for others and then getting advice to try for ourselves. Plus the support on here is amazing! Because personally my boyfriend doesn’t understand it so when I conquer something if I’m excited and want to share with someone. He doesn’t get excited or anything because he doesn’t have it so he doesn’t understand.

bonjess

Date posted: 5y

Cool that's good to hear ?

catattak

Date posted: 5y

I get like...'phantom' touches where I think a part of me rubbed up against a counter or door but it obviously didnt happen because I wasnt close enough. The real problem there is not whether ir not i touched something, its realizing it doesnt truly matter. The cdc doesnt tell us to change our clothes if we rubbed up against a wall in our home, or shower when we get home. That's our ocd. I really just have to tell myself that fomite transmission is not the main method of transmission here and tell my brain to shut up. Mind you I am not always successful. Tonight is grocery pick up night and I already know that I will be wiping everything down, disinfecting my kitchen and showering.

StefH

Date posted: 5y

I liked how you worded it as it doesn’t truly matter! Pretty much reminding ourselves there is more important things in our lives then these irrational fears. Even though the OCD makes it feel like it is the only thing that matters and that we can’t move on until we give in. But it’s crazy to think how much time (at least I know myself) waste doing the compulsions! And not only time but money! For how much soap I go through and Lysol wipes and all that. It all adds up! What frustrates me is that I know all this and how much of a waste of time, energy, happiness, and sometimes it also almost gets to the point where it costs me my relationship, why isn’t all that enough to ignore the compulsions?????

bonjess

Date posted: 5y

It doesn't truly matter ! I like that

Estrid

Date posted: 5y

I struggle wirh this too. Not the germs but I have a lot of things in my home I think are dangerous in other ways. When I walk the streets I often get these what if's about car batteries, empty bottles, gas spots...as someone said here it doesbt matter if we touched it or not. We have to break that cycke of walking on egg shells...In my home I have made a hierarchy room after room to work through all the items I avoid.

StefH

Date posted: 5y

Yeah it’s so frustrating and when you said about walking it made me think about how when I am out in public and there might be something on the ground that is either a tissue or the worst for me is like a clear plastic bag because my first thought is what if that was a condom and I touched it with my shoe or my arm was down at my side and it could of touched it and then it’s just a whirlwind of anxiety and fears and irrational thoughts

Estrid

Date posted: 5y

@StefH I totally get you on this. I have scanned the streets after condoms too. Everyday I try to "just walk" as normal people...but its hard.

IwillThrive

Date posted: 5y

Wow i don’t feel alone. I struggle with this too.

StefH

Date posted: 5y

Your not alone!!! I’m glad that I’m not either! Since it isn’t really like any of my other compulsions but it really is an avoidance compulsion!

bonjess

Date posted: 5y

Wow yes me too. I pull the clothes out of the washer so carefully so I don't drop them and have to re wash

StefH

Date posted: 5y

Yeah and on top of that when I’m folding them I have to make sure they don’t touch anything “contaminated” and usually they don’t! But I always “think” they may have or got to close or whatever. Anyone have any advice??

bonjess

Date posted: 5y

Just a bit off topic . But do you find it good to talk to people dealing with the same things . I'm just wondering if hearing the same situations makes it justify what you are doing and make it seem ok . Or do you feel you can be strong together and work thru it .

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond