My ocd is making me think against my boyfriend who is the best man ever. ? At some point he was battling depression and he used to get angry at me but later he regretted for shouting at me and now he is over depression, he told me that my love helped him get through depression. Why can't i do the same. He is giving so much of love to me. Why can't i beat ocd. My mind is telling me that he used to behave like that when he was in depression that's why you developed rocd. I read a post on fb about emotional abuse and now my mind is thinking maybe that was emotional abuse but he is never Abusive to me. Why am i thinking against him. I am very scared I'll ruin my relationship with him. He supports me very much. He is tolerating me and my thoughts from 4 months. He is the guy every girl would want. I literally didn't give a fuck about our pasts when i was normal. Why am i obsessing over our pasts. I want to get out of this i cannot afford therapy please help me. I want to marry him. How can i improve my relationship.

Thanks ?

OMG.. Same here? Deep inside i know i love him but I'm afraid to love him idk why?

@magicwizard It's so draining!! My background of these thoughts it's that i'm scared of being in a toxic relationship because when i was little i was surronded by a lot! But we got this! We know that our partners are good! ❤️ We can do this ✨

@nenufaroceanico Yes true.. I'm also living in an environment where fights happen in a daily basis. I just don't want that in my life. I can't tell you how much i was in love with my bf and suddenly i started doubting over my feelings for him and now his and our past?. I just want this phase to get over right now.

@magicwizard Also HOCD is giving a lot of confusions to me ??

Mine keeps shifting.. I have almost all forma of ocd, in childhood it was contamination and religious and now it has shifted to relationship and sexual orientation. But in between i saw periods of religious and harm ocd also but it does not bother me now but I'm stuck in hocd and rocd?. I was never attracted to girls in my entire life nor am i now. I don't know why am i having thoughts regarding my sexuality and it add fuel to fire. It makes me think that's why I'm feeling this way towards my bf. But i never wanted anyone else in my life other than him. He is my first priority. That's why i think ocd attacked my relationship because it is the most important thing in my life and no one has ever loved me the way he loves me not even my family. I don't want to hurt him or lose him. ?