I’m afraid I’ve hurt my sister. Like sexually. I don’t recall me ever doing anything. I don’t think I’ve ever done anything. I literally have 0 evidence that that’s even possible. Like I could/would never. But I’m still afraid.

I’m going through the same thing right now but with my daughter. I know I haven’t done anything to hurt her, but I’m questioning previous motives behind certain actions and it’s driving me crazy. For example, I picked her up in a way where my hand was between her legs like holding her by her diaper. I did that in a way to kind of stand up to my ocd...but it backfired completely. I’m questioning my motive behind choosing that particular way to hold her. Why did I choose that way? I had a thought that I should do it to get any weird urges out of my system. I know that was just my intrusive ocd mind, so I just did it anyways in an attempt to silence the ocd battle in my mind. And now I’m ruminating over and over again reliving every emotion, feeling, detail questioning why I did that, how did it make me feel, did I hold her too long? Horrible horrible thoughts that make me feel so sad and exhausted and drained.

Went through the same when I had POCD with a member of my family. Anxiety is horrible but remember to not digging or try to go Into memories ! Be brave dear

It came out of nowhere one afternoon where I doubting and first mistake I start digging into my memories to see if I indeed did something wrong. I vomkitted from the anxiety couldn’t go out, couldn’t talk to anybody had urge to confess to my boyfriend. But then my therapist told me this is my POCD trying to trick me in another way so I started applying the tools and it disappeared. It’s though but you can do it

I just freak out because there is such a fine line. People hold their babies like that all of the time. There’s nothing wrong with it. But in my mind I always avoid it to avoid any weird thoughts or emotions that it might conjure up. Well I decided to say eff that, I’m gonna stand up to these thoughts. And now I’m left feeling like I did something wrong...even though by textbook definition it’s not wrong at all. I struggle so hard with fear of losing control or something bad happening. I feel like we are all only one small step away from having completely different lives. It freaks me out. One wrong move could be misconstrued. Would if I’m bathing my daughter and I’m forced to clean her and I have an intrusive thought? What makes touching a certain area bad? Isn’t it the thought behind it???

I just hate overthinking everything. Every action, thought, feeling. I can’t benhwve there are people who just don’t think about this stuff ever. Like how is that possible? People pick up their children and handle them and are affectionate with family members and never think they are crossing lines or being inappropriate. It’s a bizarre concept to me. This has plagued me for years. I would avoid hugging family members for fear a sexual thought or emotion would arise when I was just a little girl

I think a lot of this stems from lack of confidence and not trusting ourselves? I know my job is a huge trigger for me. I work in a criminal defense law firm so I’m constantly reading about people losing control. So I’m always worried I’m one action away from losing control. The human mind is so complex and it trips me out..