Hello everyone. Happy to be here. I suffer from GAD and possibly pure OCD. Lately I can't seem to get over the fact I snooped through my partner's stuff when we first started dating and read something I shouldn't have. It happened years ago and for years I never even thought of doing that. I went through therapy for similar but also unrelated issues and started feeling more confident in myself. I am a good partner now. But the pandemic is getting the best of me. Something triggered me the other week and now the guilt has been consuming me for some reason.it is far from being the only thing from my distant past that I feel guilty about. I decided I won't try and rationalize it anymore. I did a shitty thing. And damn right I wont do it again. Also just felt like telling someone.

Gen21

Date posted: 5y

Yupp I’ve got this same thing. I went through a stint where I was overcome and nauseous with guilt about something I did before my boyfriend and I were dating but we were talking and hanging out and I all of a sudden felt like I did something bad. I eventually “confessed” and it did more harm than good and the guilt and anxiety and rumination really didn’t go away anyway. I ended up getting MORE anxiety worrying about what he was thinking about it. Now I know that it’s my OCD that will find things that I did “bad” that makes me want to tell on myself. My OCD tries to look for things to “prove” that I’m a bad person and unworthy of love. Now that I’m aware of that, I can tell myself okay this is my OCD and I’m not gonna give it the fear and guilt it wants. Easier said than done I know. Honestly one of the biggest reasons I can avoid these obsessions and let go of intrusive thoughts is because I’m on medicine for my anxiety. It helps so much. I would like to start therapy as well but the medication and mindfulness have really helped. I know how distressing it can be.

OutOfPeanutB...

Date posted: 5y

Thank you for sharing! We seem to suffer from similar issues. I too have been tempted to confess but have not given in. I know I will not because like you say it would not make it any better. Though my other compulsions are not healthy either, at least they are just mine to deal with and I am trying to do so. Medication helped me tremendously with my anxiety and terrible insomnia back years ago when I started taking it but now I am going to see my doctor next week and want to talk about maybe increasing my dosage, just to see what she thinks about that. Also haven't been to therapy for a long time because.. money. But meditation and mindfulness helps a lot! It's a battle but it sounds like you are on a great path. Much love ❤

Kls2121

Date posted: 5y

@OutOfPeanutButter What medication has helped you?

Gen21

Date posted: 5y

@kls323 Lexapro 20mg

Kls2121

Date posted: 5y

@Gen21 I've heard lexapro works for alit of people.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

I have a confessing problem with my real event ocd. I always think my past will come to haunt me and that I have to confess everything from my past to my partner (I’m single now but just saying in general). My narcissistic ex would bring up my past in fights and say “how can I marry you” and it still affects me to this day. I am full of shame and feel like I don’t deserve anybody.

OutOfPeanutB...

Date posted: 5y

I replied to your post. :) But just to add - your ex sounds like a douchebag and it truly is a blessing in disguise you didn't end up marrying HIM!

Gen21

Date posted: 5y

Yes! Mine got so much worse when I dated someone who always talked about what a marriage material type of person should be like and I always felt like I had to prove I was worthy of that commitment to him and it made my OCD so much worse. I’m so glad I downloaded this app because I never realized how many people struggle with such similar issues

ARTnotOCD

Date posted: 5y

Just remind yourself that none of it is worse than running out of peanut butter, and you seem to already have a “handle” on that. 😉

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