- Username
- Maria
- Date posted
- 4y ago
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- Username
- DrvmstickDrvmstick
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Hey Maria. First of all I know it’s hard but the fact that you’re on here is a great first step. What you want to try to do is lean into your anxious thoughts instead of analyzing them. I know it’s easier said than done and it’ll take some practice but it’s something you have to do. For example, if your OCD tells you that your SO has a big nose, you can say to yourself “wow, my SO DOES have a big nose, I don’t know if that’s a dealbreaker for me” or if they say something your OCD perceived as “dumb” you could say “wow my partner is kinda dumb, I don’t know if I could be with someone who’s dumb my whole life”. It’s scary, but you have to face your thoughts. After enough practice you start to become bored of your thoughts and they pass by more easily. I’m no expert, just some tips that I’ve been using. Here’s a helpful video: https://youtu.be/w4r0kir8COY Good luck!
- Username
- MariaMaria
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thank you! It’s more so over analysis about the relationship on the day to day. Whether I’m doing/saying something that will make them want to leave me or if they actually want to be with me. I’ll take your advice and try to sit with the anxieties until they fade. I’ll also check out the video, I appreciate you sharing it.
- Username
- DrvmstickDrvmstick
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Maria Ok, I think the concept still applies. You could say something like “oh man I said something stupid, he might leave me, that would suck” and just leave it there. The big thing with rocd is you truly don’t know, maybe he will leave you, maybe he won’t. You have to become comfortable with that uncertainty, and you do that by facing what you fear the ost over and over again and hopefully it becomes less scary over time. It takes weeks, but it works.
- Username
- ocdillustratedocdillustrated
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I don't know your past experiences as a child and in previous relationships. So I don't KNOW that what I'm about to discuss is happening. It's just a possibility to consider if you've experienced interpersonal trauma. When people experience trauma within relationships-physical, sexual, financial, emotional- they learn to be on guard all the time for warning signs that something bad is about to happen. That's because their brain learned that to protect them, it needed to be alert to tiny shifts in people's moods, actions tone of voice, body language, etc that indicated danger. If this is the case for you, there's probably more at play here than just OCD. It may help to address the trauma symptoms and maladaptive belief schemas in addition to traditional OCD therapy strategies
- Username
- MariaMaria
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Hi Katie, thanks for your response. I appreciate your insight as that certainly may be happening—I’ll bring it up to my counselor. I don’t necessary fear response, I just overanalyze whether or not my partner wants to be with me (if I’m good enough.)
- Username
- MariaMaria
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I’m afraid*
Related posts
- Username
- Rxbytuesday
- Date posted
- 2y ago
i’m not sure if this is an ocd thing or just an anxiety thing but i find it very hard to sit comfortably with being not anxious. i used to be involved in a lot of stressful/anxiety inducing relationships or situations in the past and now i’m in really good relationships with friends and my life is a lot less stressful but my brain is stuck in that anxious zone. if i have a good week and i think my life is going really well then the next week i start overthinking everything and searching for something to be wrong and then i make myself anxious over these problems that don’t even exist. it’s like i can’t relax because i expect something bad to happen. i’m not sure if many others have this issue but any advice is appreciated
- Username
- kte123
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Dating as a trigger?
I am wondering if anyone else feels really triggered by dating. I (25 F) will be casually dating a guy who will like me and be into me and things will be going well, maybe it feels like they are more into me than I am into them. I start to panic bc I dont know if I want to be in a relationship with them and then my brain goes to “well maybe you don’t want to be in a relationship with any men because you’re a lesbian and you’re not meant to be with anyone at all” the thoughts then spiral into “you’re a bad, insecure person for leading these guys on, just cut it off now and start dating girls so you can spare them and yourself of these lies.” These thoughts are incredibly distressing to me to the point where I need to overanalyze the extent to which I like/am attracted to someone. I will compulsively read HOCD and lesbian reddit threads to scan for signs that I relate to either of them. I also spend hours googling what my thoughts mean and ruminating on past dating experiences to try to come to a conclusion about my sexuality. The thought has taken over my brain to a point where its all I can think about and I feel anxious being around gay people when I previously did not. I feel physically ill due to these thoughts and have a hard time getting out of bed and getting through the day with these thoughts constantly harassing me. I am really hoping this is just OCD but Im terrified of this being real. Please let me know if anyone experiences dating as a major trigger!
- Username
- Coffeelover11
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Anyone else experience this?
Does anyone struggle with real event ocd and having to confess to their partner? I have so many regrets on things I’ve either done or thought and feel like I can’t move on or be better until I’ve been forgiven for them. Mostly things that happened a couple years ago and I don’t know why it’s all of a sudden bothering me now but it makes me feel like I’m the worst person ever. I’m even questioning how I thought or felt during that time and I’m confessing to thoughts or things I may or may not have done or thought. It’s so confusing and I feel trapped in my own head. If anyone has any tips I would appreciate it. Thank you for you time
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