- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I have the same thing going on. Even when I know that something can’t possibly have covid on it I still can’t touch it because my brain thinks it’s dirty
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- 5y
Kstan are you doing anything to decrease the problem ?
- Date posted
- 5y
Not yet unfortunately :( I’m working on finding a psychologist so I can start ERP but OCD symptoms are kind of recent for me so I don’t have any strategies yet
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm the same and I feel. It's getting worse. My partner got someone to bring her equipment from work to our house, she wouldn't let me clean it on my own so I knew it was done right, she did some of it and I know she didn't do it right as she is lazy and not thorough. Now I feel. The whole house is contaminated aand because she has touched everything its too late to fix it and she wonnt let me anyway. I can't distinguish between what's a real threat and what is ocd. What can I do?? I'm laying wide awake now at 3.30.am with workn in the morning (I have to work at the kitchen table with the mess of 'cintaminated' monitors and cables that she has brought into the house, and she sees my worry as stupid and diesnt care. If I get this virus I'm dead. I'm so angry with her and I don't want this to destroy us. But in my mind she has brougt a threat into the house and done nothing to mitigate it. My house is not my home anymore, it all just feels dirty, I think she is dirty and careless, and I'm just constantly uncomfortable and anxious in my own home. I want to leave and never come back
- Date posted
- 5y
Rosie I can understand what you going through. Very similar experience I've had already with packages. You can let yourself know that after 5 days all surfaces will themselves become free of virus, maybe that will help
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you for your reply. Obviously if rather you weren't going through a similar thing but it is good to know I'm not alone. The thing is I have a compulsion to clean for those five days because she constantly touches the equipment then touches everything else in the house afterwards without washing her hands so now I feel the entire house and myself is cintaminated. If I start cleaning it's never ending and she won't comply with what I ask her to do to mitigate all this. It just overwhelming and I'm so angry at her and the situation but mainly at her and I'm constantly uncomfortable and on edge.
- Date posted
- 5y
I hope she understands that is very hard for someone going through this. For me now I cant even touch wipes because I think that their packaging is not clean or sanitising sprays. Not ideal, but then I avoid surfaces if I can for some days. Are you taking any medication yet ?
- Date posted
- 5y
Anything I get into the house that I can't clean I put into a safe space for 5 days and then I'm fine owrh touching them. She understands to a point but when it incinviences her she gets annoyed and irritated. Deep into her core she is a bit of a self centred person so when something doesn't suit her she wont put herself out. So she understands to a point but not beyond that point. I'm going to have to aks her in the morning can I clean all the wires and tidy them away the best I can and because that will I convince her she will be annoyed so I am dreading it. So resentful of her at the minute as she is laying upstairs snoring happily away (which keeps me awake most nights) anyway), I was finally asleep and he bounced up into bed wriggled about not a care as to wether it kept me awake or not and now I'm on the sofa wide awake still hear her snoring from downstairs. And the odd night that I snore she has the cheek to say it disturbed her sleep. Anyway that's just a side point because I am nnkyed I'm not sleeping and feeling crappy. No I'm not on any meds. I was on meds from I was 17 up untill a few years ago recently I stopped them because I developed an u healthy ritual around taking them. Most of my ocd was previously centred around my parents. Sadly they dosed last year after long illnesses and now my ocd has jumped on covid 19!! It's so frustrating. Plus my partner said tonight that we have had enough stress this past 2 years (she has lost hair and blames the worry about me when my parents were ill for it..... Not helping the issues I have with excessive responsibility or the anger I have towards her) and she a said that WE weren't going to let OCD get in the way of good times. Easier said that done
- Date posted
- 5y
I hope you are able to sleep. I couldn't sleep tonight as well. It was raining hard and I couldn't get a shut eye for long. I had a wire on floor for charging my phone. I put it on charging but now I'm stressed that it was touching floor so won't be clean. I feel like cleaning my hands and phone. I am taking meds now. They do help to ease the stress but to work on decreasing the rituals we have to and will need to work on our will. Having a good partner or someone beside you that you trust really helps though
- Date posted
- 5y
Aw man, I feel for you, its terrible being a prisoner of our own thoughts. It's a daily battle but like you say if we work hard then hopefully one day we will be pretty much free of this beast
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- 5y
Yes i agree. Do you use WhatsApp or any other app where we can stay connected? I think us sharing maybe be helpful
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- 5y
Yeah I do, can you private message on here as I don't really want to post my number online
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- 5y
I will delete the message as soon as you add me
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
sorry this is super long i just wanna know if anyone else has been thru something similar bc i feel super alone 🩷 i have super bad contamination ocd. it was bad already but my house was like my safe space until a few months ago someone brought something into my house that i considered ‘contaminated’. and so then i felt like that part of the house was contaminated, then it spread to everything outside my room (since family is moving around touching stuff) and then somehow i got convinced everything in my room except my bed is contaminated and i need to wash my hands after touching it. in my mind its like the contamination just infinitely spreads to things after the tiniest bit of touch. idek what im afraid of anymore or even what the original thing was but i can’t let it go. when i have to wash off contamination i have to wash at least 4 times or until it feels right, or sometimes take rlly long showers and wipe down all my stuff. i even throw away food and clothes or just whole items sometimes because they feel so contaminated i don’t want them in my space. i can’t be super near people or have anyone touch me, and i also can’t bring anything new into my room since it had to go through the entry of my house which feels contaminated. i feel like all i do is lay in bed and then wash my hands and do compulsions so i can go eat or do other stuff around the house. also i never go out because i’m bc people outside make me feel dirty, and i hate thinking about how many people have touched stuff in stores or in public and stuff. so im just in my room worrying all day. i feel so trapped and the contamination/avoiding it is all i think about anymore i barely have time for anything else and im never present when i talk to people because im worrying about if i accidentally got contaminated. im starting erp next week and knowing that im going to have to expose myself to things is really freaking me out. does anyone else have this kind of ocd ? im exhaustedddd 🥲🥲💔
- Date posted
- 19w
I’m so scared. Part of me feels ok and part of me feels like I need to clean everything off. Basically my sweater had a stain on it from food it was newly washed but I decided to throw it in the wash again. While throwing it in the laundry basket I noticed a specific type of clothing that scares me. I quickly put the sweater on top of the used laundry and left. My phone was in the living room and I’m pretty constantly scared it will get contaminated by laundry I’m not sure why but that fear started randomly. Anyway I had to walk past the living room to wash my hands in the kitchen because someone had to use the bathroom badly and was waiting for me to just throw my laundry in to go to the bathroom. Anyway I’m scared I went near my phone or contaminated it with my hands. I can’t remember the details fully either but I just remember walking straight to the kitchen but I don’t know. I’m really scared and I want to clean everything like my phone and everything it was near. The thing is my fear is real because used laundry is so gross. What do I do? When throwing clean laundry in a basket should you wash your hands? Do most people? Even if the article of clothing isn’t dirty? Because maybe my hands accidentally went near the actual gross laundry I don’t know
- Date posted
- 12w
I’m really trying to be better at not washing my hands every second and I proud of myself the days I didn’t give in to compulsions, but today I feel a little defeated. I was getting ready for work and I was trying to cover up a pimple on my face, but I had sunscreen on. I wanted to put a pimple patch so I tunrned around got the paper towel in my bathroom and the towel touched the shower wall. I had a wart 6 months ago and although I didn’t have it on my hand… I did have it on the palm of my foot. I’m almost sure I sprayed Lysol on the wall but I forget because I’m ruminating constantly and my mind likes to play tricks on me. I was also in a rush today for work so that’s triggered the thoughts more. I put more sunscreen on my face to camouflage the pimple patch/ pimple. I’m scared that I contaminated my face . I even looked it up on gpt (which is another compulsion.) it was basically saying the percentage was extremely low. It’s like the answers right there but my mind won’t believe it. And I know you shouldn’t trust everything on google. Too lazy to edit, but a small part I left out was that after touching that part of the towel where I thought is contaminated …. I rolled that part on the floor and broke it off. But then continued to still roll it because the part I touched , had touched the other pieces too. I don’t know if that makes sense. So when I finally had that “just right feeling.” I put the paper towel down , washed my hands again but my hands weren’t as soapy bc it still had the tinted sunscreen on them. Washed my hands more and just got fed up and dried my hands off with the paper towel I still feel is contaminated. Ugh😞. I’ll be honest too after having the wart on my foot, I cleaned the shower in itty bitty sections. I think cleaning the whole thing at once had me overwhelmed and especially the early stages after my wart was gone I didn’t want to clean bc I was nervous I would catch another one. I had used so much Clorox to wipe down where my foot had touched the ground on the shower floor. I don’t think I wiped down the outer perimeter but I’ve recently just sprayed Lysol on the floor . I could be better at cleaning my shower more but it is what it is right now.
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