I am feeling like i don't know how my boyfriend is and what my relationship was with him. And i will never know how my relationship is with him. ROCD is telling me I've to leave him but i don't want to leave him but then it's telling me why don't i want to leave him. It's because i love him and he loves me. When will i feel certain that i love him😔

I didn't mean for it to trigger you. We settled with it for now until we're both out of highschool and into college. Our parents are best friends but don't like the idea of us being together.

I definitely understand what you mean. In my own way... I feel like I am friends with my bff, then I feel like maybe I'm not enough or meet their expectations when they clearly say they enjoy my company and I love that they do. And then I doubt what they said, yet I know they meant it, I know they care about me and I care about them. I don't know why my mind says things like that. Deep deep down I know. I love them back. And Am grateful, so grateful for them in my life. I don't wish life without them.

I feel like i will lose my mind. I dont know what i want now. My relationship with him is so good. He has been very supportive with me. It's me who is ruining our relationship. I am confused what i want. I really want him but i feel like I'm forcing myself to live with him but its the only thing i wanted in my life. To live with him happily. I am not able to decide anything.

@magicwizard Help him with things. Anything. Go to the park and walk together and talk about the day either of you have had. Do the dishes together if he chooses to at the time, if not, do the dishes anyways. This doesn't apply to just dishes. Chores aren't chores when you have someone to do them with. Help some people out together. :)

@SoLikeumWhat I can't even meet him. I can't call him. I only talk to him over text and while playing PUBG. And i only want to talk about my thoughts because loving him feel forced.

@magicwizard Is this a long distance relationship?

It was a long distance relationship 1 year ago when he was pursuing his studies but last year he came back

@magicwizard Right right okay. Do you call each other/ facetime each other often?

I was in a similar position with someone a few years ago. I'll say we didn't want to do it like that anymore so we became best friends instead and call every now and then. Not all the time and it's nice when we do talk. I understand how you may be feeling. And breathe. Lockdown is temporary, it truly is. Things will go good for you. Touch your heart, love yourself first and love those who care about you, those who are with you and around you. Just breathe. Inhale, and exhale. You're doing great even if you don't think you are. You're doing really awesome. Okay :) I have to rest for a while; be sure to have plenty of rest as well. Go outside for some fresh air. Cook yourself a good meal, or have someone help you with cooking. Don't forget to do something you know you enjoy doing. :) Rest up!