I can’t stop crying. My partner has been very distant. He just admitted he has pulled back because of how bad my ocd has gotten. I found out he was seeing his ex behind my back and has been lying to me to push me away because he can’t handle how bad it has gotten. I feel really sad. And I’m at a really low place. I feel like no one will love me because of the ocd. The one person I trusted and was vulnerable with just told me that my health condition is making him takes steps back from me. I’m extremely codependent on him because of the ocd. I feel so scared to be alone and battle this alone.

im not diagnosed but for the past five years i've been seeing A LOT of ocd symptoms in myself. i kinda accepted that i might have it and learning about people's experiences helped me a lot. i was in a really bad place when i was 16 but at some point i got better (so i thought) I've lost one relationship and i healed from loosing it and then i fell in love again. we we're together for a year and six months. i was really happy for most of the time but unfortunately we we're both not really stable mentally and we both had some mental issues. i helped my girlfriend and i supported her the best i could. she managed to move in in my city and we started living together november. at first it still was her who had a lot of issues (probably depression and being very suicidal) i was struggling and i was really stressed but i tried my best to help. i think eventually she got better in january everything was happening all at once. i've lost my job and we had to move out to a different apartment and in the same time she gained new friends at work. earlier my ocd was showing up occasionally but since that time i think it got kinda worse. i have very low self esteem and when my girlfriend got really close with one girl in her work i started feeling uneasy. i never wanted to be a jelous and controlling girlfriend but my head was constantly telling me "she's will get bored of you bc of her new friend" "she's starting to care more about her than you" and it was unbearable. we talked about it few times and she tried to reassure me but at some point i saw she's not feeling good about my self doubt and being jelous. months passed and everything was getting worse. she become more and more distant, she stopped showing me any affection, she stopped asking me on a dates, she stopped flirting and even on my birthday i had to please her to stop texting someone and focus on a movie we were watching. and now two days ago she broke up with me. few days earlier we had a serious talk and she told me she doesn't feel like doing anything romantic with me anymore and when i asked why she told me she thinks she got tired of me. i asked her what about me makes her tired and she told me "it's because you can't do and cope with anything" or smth like that (its hard to translate it to English). and i understand that it could be tiring bc i was doing bad mentally and i asked for reassurance a lot even tho i knew it's my compulsion and even tho i told her i will try not to. i am also a very anxious person and i was really stressed aboud my new job and money and a lot of things and all of it made her tired. i feel so guilty that i couldn't try harder. i feel so guilty for not noticing I'm actually loosing her earlier. or maybe i actually was noticing it by being scared when she started to be mkre excited to spend time with her friend rather than me? i don't know i just feel so bad bc i still love her and i don't know if I can't stop bit i already asked her few times if she's sure that this is what she wants and i told her i will try harder and i booked a visit with a psychiatrist but she told me she's too tired to try. im scared she's also struggling mentally. i don't really know what i even want to hear from you guys i just really want to disappear bc i can't stop blaming myself for loosing my soulmate and the best person in the entire world, the most beautiful, funny and sweet person. she doesn't need me anymore. she doesn't want me and it hurts ass hell. and the fact that it might be all my fault hurt even more

My girlfriend, who’s become increasingly controlling, read my therapy notes while I was sleeping (the one thing I told her not to read). She found a note I wrote, forgiving myself about a past guilt that I hadn’t in detail told her about, and she accused me of exactly what I fear about myself. A week later, she left me. I am destroyed. I’ve spent the past week desperately trying to rekindle the relationship, and I had some level of peace. I got heavy reassurance from a friend, but I think this was a trigger. A day later, while still focused on the relationship, my brain shifted to the guilt itself, and it went deeper. I am now back to where I was 2 years ago torturing myself over my real event OCD, and thoughts that I’m afraid to mention. I am losing my mind and can’t talk to the person who always accepted me, who I feel almost cured my OCD for two years. Now, here I am back to this app, I really need help, I feel I’ve lost everything.

I’m struggling with my relationship. She used to be so supportive of my mental health. She would listen to my problems with OCD. Now she interrupts me when I try to talk about it. She tells me that she won’t reassure me because that’s not helpful for OCD, but I’m not looking for reassurance. I’m just telling her what’s on my mind because I feel so depressed and overwhelmed by it. She made me feel like I wasn’t alone in my OCD but now I feel very alone again. Anymore we get into arguments about me talking about OCD, and the other day she told me she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore, so now I keep it to myself. I guess it overwhelmed her (as if I’m not more overwhelmed 🙄) People always get overwhelmed by my problems (OCD or other things) and eventually they push me away. I feel like I trusted her too much. There are also other problems in our relationship. I’m worried it’s not going to work out. If we break up I don’t plan on dating for a long time if ever again because I need to work on myself. But honestly I don’t know what I’ll do. I feel pretty upset tonight. The pain is so deep and so dark right now. I’m engaged to this woman, and I love her very much, but she’s not there for me anymore(not just in regards to OCD) and it’s crushing me. Idk what to do.