- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
This has touched me so much. Honestly, I am here to speak to. You don’t have to battle this alone. You are stronger than you think. I always have for remind myself that you have got this far and you will continue to move forward. Please value yourself. You are worth the battle and that’s most important. X
- Date posted
- 5y
Wow. I’m feeling for you so much right now. I have POCD and a boyfriend who doesn’t know. I’m codependant on him too and too scared to admit my issues to him. You should be proud of yourself that you were brave enough to speak your mind. I also use my boyfriend as a coping mechanism by escaping my OCD. in the long run, you speaking out is a step to recovery for helping yourself. If he won’t stand with you through your journey, it’s better you know sooner than later. You deserve love and understanding, and don’t regret being honest with him. This is your journey to recovery and you’ve done something I am a long way from getting too. I will get there one day. Keep moving forwards. If you want to chat, I’m here. X
- Date posted
- 5y
I am so sorry to hear you are suffering a lot now :( Despite everything OCD throws at you, you are worthy of love and compassion - I know it's difficult to accept when OCD makes you believe you are a monster or a freak but that's true :) It's hard for us to have the impression that no one understands what we are going through but I am sure you'll find someone out there open minded and ready to love you :) I don't know if it can help but I found this video quite encouraging https://youtu.be/4QobdCPzHb0 and it always calms me down to listen to John Green's Youtube videos about OCD and mental health because I am happy to see that it is possible to live a fulfilling life and build a great support system despite all our anxiety :) Take care and please reach out if you need to talk - remember you are not alone in this! ♡
- Date posted
- 5y
im sorry youre going through this hang in there, youve always got a place to vent and get support on here you 💕
- Date posted
- 5y
@anonymous21 @tryingtogetoverthis Thank you so much for you kind words It’s things like this that make me feel I’m not alone This is a tough thing and knowing I have some form of support makes it that much easier ♥️
- Date posted
- 5y
I know, I have got great comfort from realising i am not alone too. I have always been discusted with my illness. But there’s some sort of beauty in the fact that I know there’s other people like you pushing through the pain regardless, and making these steps to get better. I may never know who you are but I know we are fighting together. This is the first time I have spoken out for 5 years. It’s so painful but I feel like I’m doing this for a better life. Keep on pushing forward and loving yourself regardless of whatever we tell ourselves. We deserve it. @natpon25
- Date posted
- 5y
@frenchbadger thank you so much😓 I’ll check out the video. ♥️ I appreciate the support
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Longer post, but please, I need some guidance. I thought that my thoughts relating to relationship OCD were taking over. But, my bf started treating me differently. I tried to have a conversation and communicate this worry. He then texted me that he had actually been feeling distant for a month and has been meaning to tell me. But “we’re fine now.” I spiraled. Later in the week, he went quiet after a disagreement. After he promised we were okay and he was okay, I found later he was texting a mutual friend (female) that I was crying again. She said that it was fucking insane and other hurtful things about me. He said he lost his trust with me because I looked through his phone and saw that message even though during the whole relationship we had a mutual understanding that we had nothing to hide from each other and he always assured me that I could look through his phone at anytime. It’s ok for boundaries to change in a relationship, but it wasn’t communicated and I was harshly reprimanded. During the texting chain with the mutual friend he also said that “she just has no idea.” When I addressed this, he then said that for the past month, he actually felt he didn’t want to be in a relationship, but still loved me. I’m ruined. I had the same thoughts in January and knew I loved him. I found out it was ROCD (through this app) and told him the day after the realization because it was eating at me. So him saying I wouldn’t understand and telling other seems unjustified. I would’ve been the most understanding. Any help would be appreciated greatly.
- Date posted
- 19w
Hi I was on here a few days ago talking about how I have POCD because of CSA & how I couldn’t trust my bf. I ended up telling him about this while we were out in nature one day, a pretty secluded area but there were still children visible in the area. We changed by holding a towel up around each other. That was a bit too much for me but I needed to change. He had to urinate and he went behind a tree but I told him just to go in the water because if anyone catches any glimpse of him on accident, it’s illegal and just wrong especially because there were kids across the river. I ended up confronting him about my OCD fears, which was causing me to distrust him (I don’t even trust my own brothers). This man was my first everything, I loved him so much I wanted to trust him so badly. He ended up being offended after I shared my fears. He was offended that I would ever think of him as someone who would hurt kids (like my dad did to me 💔. and yes, he knew what happened to me as a child before alllll of this happened so I though he would understand). He was so offended he told me it was time to go home. He changed in f*cking public. IN PUBLIC AFTER I TOLD HIM THAT CHILDREN MIGHT SEE. We drove 1hr+ back home in silence. It didn’t even process in my mind fully, after this happened I was texting him how much I loved him and didn’t want to break up. But as I started to think about that moment I just feel sick in my stomach. I hate myself I hate my l-fe I genuinely don’t want to b3 h3r3. I’m probably gonna get rid of myself. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t even be in love in peace. I can’t nothing is normal in my life nobody is normal I can’t do this anymore
- Date posted
- 18w
Hi I’ve never posted before but I need to talk with other people that have this too because it’s hard to explain to other people without ocd. I was in a relationship for awhile and we started dating before either of us knew I had ocd. Anyway I have a really bad episode of it that led me to go get on medication and got into therapy. My ocd can have some really taboo themes and thoughts which I have learned is just what comes with the illness. The problem though is when I was really struggling one of my compulsions was confessing and reassurance seeking specifically to the guy I was dating because I trusted him. We both knew at this point that I had ocd and it affected many parts of our relationship particularly our intimacy which he made me feel bad about. He started calling me crazy, just joking, but still. Eventually I start feeling better and we start being intimate again and the day after he breaks up with me. About a month later after I hear he went on a date with another girl (we live together) he tells me he couldn’t be intimate with me because of my intrusive thoughts. We still live together with 2 other roommates so I still see him everyday. We try to be cordial with each other. I still have my moments though I’m still dealing with my ocd and a breakup seemingly caused by it and I cry a lot. Some months go by and he’s dating this other girl and I end up making out with one of my other roommates. I have no idea if my ex knew but the next day when it was only me in the house he starts screaming “THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS” and starts slamming shit. I tell my roommate about this and he and I are both kind of scared of him. He started acting really cold to us after. Then the night before my graduation my two roommates moved out so it’s just me and my ex in the house. In the middle of the night he comes downstairs and in front of my door calls me a horrible name relating to my intrusive thoughts. I open the door and say fuck you and he says you took my fucking friends. I said I didn’t take shit from you and he says yeah and goes upstairs and screams BINGO for some reason. He did it in the middle of the night when we were alone and I had no one to talk to or go to. He blames me because a lot of our friends sided with me in the breakup because they knew what I was going through. He had told me that I could never speak if my intrusive thoughts to anyone including my therapist (I did don’t worry) but he had made me feel so ashamed more than I was already. Also the next day he left a mess for me to clean up since I was the last one to move out. I’m coming to terms with the fact that on top of this awful experience with ocd that I may have been emotionally abused as well.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond