How do I get therapy in the UK that I trust ? + My painful story I developed POCD, intrusive thoughts and false attraction in 2017. In 2019 I started reading about my affliction on the internet, I cried with relief and overwhelming pain of the fact that I’m even addressing a problem that I had locked away so deep. I decided to reach out but talking about a problem which I’ve never even uttered a single word of to anyone felt impossible. So I wrote a note to my doctor. Saying that I think I have OCD, but that I can’t speak out loud because it’s too painful. Saying I wanted a referral to a OCD professional to contact through the internet because it was too hard to address otherwise. (BecAuse of the Stigma of POCD) I walked to the doctors and waited in the lobby, crying. I got called into her office and I silently sobbed my eyes out as I passed her this letter. She asked me to elaborate my problem but I couldn’t so she printed off some mental health charities I should contact and I left. I walked out the doctors and uncontrollably cried all the way home. Then, the raw feeling of my problem Is too painful and I distract myself, I lock it all away. I carry on my life trying to escape any reminder of the depths of my mental health. But my OCD is like a lingering bad smell in the back of my life. I laugh, I have lots of friends and a loving boyfriend of four years, I run a business, I have hobbies. And then the bad smell creeps in to remind me that my life is a lie and that If people knew this about me, every single person who l love would be shocked and disgusted by me. Then the thought of that Is so painful that I lock it all away again and carry on as normal. I get triggered, I self loath, I bury it, repeat. This is my life. Then about 4 times a year I have this clarity about how bad everything really is - I break down, I have panic attacks; truly dramatic episodes where I lie on the floor in histerical unstoppable tears. Then I brush my self off and pretend like normal. I go to the pub and I’m confident, make jokes. I know everyone has mental health issues, I reckon most people probably think I’m the lucky ‘sane’ one. How ironic. I lie in my bed next to my unbeknownst boyfriend who I love. Feeling extreme guilt since I know that i should let him free because I can’t have children with him and he wants a family one day. I should let him look for a partner who can give him what he wants. Even though the thought of having a family with the man that I love fills me with joy, I fear it can never happen. I feel like my OCD is a ticking time bomb, I’m 24. My friends will get older, have children, I will lose my boyfriend because I can’t give him a family but I won’t tell him why that is because I’d have to admit my sick truth. A truth that the girlfriend he has loved for the last 4 years he hasn’t really known at all. So he will probably have children with another woman and it will be so incredibly painful for me. Or maybe I wont bare to ever break up with him and set him free, and he will lose the chance to have the joy of a family with somebody else. Sometimes I feel so incredibly selfish to even be with him at all. If he knew he would be discusted with me. but I know he loves me so much, and I love him too. In the end, I fear I will end up alone and silently battling with OCD whilst pretending to the world that I’m totally fine. But now I have found this app. I want to get better. I want to have the strength to talk. But I have to trust that my practitioner is qualified with POCD. The shame is too strong to bear the words outloud. I can’t use your online service because I’m from the UK. How can I get help in the UK? Can I trust my GP? Love to everyone suffering. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone but maybe in the long run over coming this will make me more mindful and more resilient than I ever would have been as a simple muggle. (As a Non OCD sufferer haha stupid joke)