How do I move on from this obsessive thought? I verify accounts at work, because if my stress anxiety and focus, I double check things. I feel like I have to report myself even if I did verify because I can’t remember clearly. Mind you I excel at my job and just developed this problem. Now I have in the back of my head I didn’t properly verify accounts and the doubt/guilt is like you owe them something but I don’t remember anything and I know I do my job right I just want to cry and escape this misery. I don’t want to quit I love my job and I am one of the highest performers. How can I erase the doubt and guilt associated with the irrational memory if the anxiety that made me feel like I didn’t do my job right?

kkny

Date posted: 5y

Ad challenging as it is you need to learn to embrace the uncertainty. I hear ya though. I have had similar thoughts on stuff with work. There was one item I played throught my mind for like a year or two before getting closer to letting it go. It's definitely challenging and not fun, but we must learn to embrace uncertainty (although I'm not fully certain I can embrace the uncertainty, lol).

Date posted: 5y

This is so insidious and I'm so sorry you're going through this. Checking has invaded my world with the research I do. Accept that you're broken and weak. Whenever you get an urge after verifying the account once, say to yourself, "I have OCD, I knew this feeling would come. I just have more doubt than a non-OCD sufferer when doing this task." And then keep going. It's in the past now. Don't react. Focus on the next account. Keep doing this, and you'll become repaired and strong. You are not your feelings. Best of luck.

Alyosha

Date posted: 5y

That sounds really tough. I think you asked this question in here before? Do the answers from last time apply at all to this time? Hang in there! Don’t let your OCD take your loves.

angrobles1995

Date posted: 5y

I have posted before, it’s been an ongoing problem up & down for the last few months. I have an appointment with a counselor next week. I just don’t get why my mind wants me to suffer.

jdavis88

Date posted: 5y

So much compassion for your suffering. :( you are checking because did reassurance seeking. It will be hard but you need to stop checking. Resist the urge and stop reassuring yourself in your head that you did it right. You posted in here for reassurance as well. The best you can do is agree with it and live with that. “Yep I might have messed up at work and I might have to quit because of it.”

angrobles1995

Date posted: 5y

Why would I agree with quitting my job when I know I do my job correctly? My post was not for reassurance but for advice on how to stop the obsessive thoughts that I know are false. Please don’t comment on my post or anyone else’s posts encouraging negative actions.

angrobles1995

Date posted: 5y

Also I’d like to add I have asked for recordings (reassurance) due to the doubt and they all prove even with the doubt - I did my job exactly. Get the h*** off my post with your negative comments, I honestly think I should report you.

Date posted: 5y

@angrobles1995 jdavis88 is describing the hardest part about OCD recovery: accepting that your worst fears -- including job loss -- MIGHT happen. He is not saying you will lose your job, but there's always a possibility. I've had to say this with some of the research papers I write, "I could've written that incorrectly and that would seriously damage my reputation in the field. To save my mental health and time, I will chose to live with that possibility." ANYTHING is possible. I COULD get hit by a car when I step outside today. There is a possibility. Possibility does not equal probability, and OCD often conflates these two things. OCD recovery is so painful, but incredibly worth it my friend! Good luck :)

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