Does anyone try to do an exposure and feel absolutely disgusted with yourself after and then weeks later your mind tries to say you did it for pleasure?

That’s where I’m at. My mind is telling me I had more sinister intentions and I can imagine what that is like and I don’t know if it’s real or not.

I am doing the exact same thing. Do you want to talk about it ? I can’t get my scenario out of my head either. It’s been weeks

@OCDkyle I would like to talk about it! Do you feel comfortable talking about it here? Feel free to share your story with me

@Freemeofocd Yes I do! Go ahead I’m all ears. Sometimes it helps to get it off your chest

@OCDkyle I just left a detailed description of my story on a post made by B2192 a few moments ago. Let me know if you find it.

@Freemeofocd I found it ! I am going through something similar for sure and it is so hard !!!! I’m sorry you go Through this as well I can’t imagine what you go through. I’m terrified to have a child because of my OCD and when I was younger I always wanted kids . I love children and kids but I’m terrified of my true intentions. This is my scenario. I am 23 years old and I am terrified that I am attracted to girls that are around the age of 16. Like extremely scared. The sexual feeling I get towards them feel so real and being me so much anxiety. I have horrible sexual thoughts about them and images flashing in my brain. And every time I do see an attractive girl my mind just assumes she’s underage. My therapist says it’s perfectly normal to see a young girl and be like whoa she’s cute I wonder how old she is but that’s just against my morals. I’ve always had this fear. Even in high school. When I was a senior and I would see a cute freshman I would feel so anxious. So anyways whenever I’m on Instagram I use to be so scared whenever I would see a tik tok dancing video a girl is doing because you never know how old they are and the dancing can be provocative. I would avoid those videos at all cost. And then one day I was just so sick of being scared so when I saw one on my feed I clicked on it on purpose. I watched it and was like see it’s just a cute girl dancing and if she’s underage that’s okay, 17 year old can be attractive you don’t need to be afraid. And then I did it again with another video and knew it was going to be on a teen page on Instagram and just forced myself to watch it and accept the uncertainty of their age and prove to myself that those videos can’t hurt me and I shouldn’t be scared. Anyways it was just too much for me so I’m back to avoiding those videos at all costs so I never scroll on my explore page anymore or on Snapchat. But the thing is I know that’s avoidance so whenever I do scroll on their I almost hope to see those videos I can to scan how I feel or to prove again by confronting them that I’m not scared. Thanks for listening. I’ve been trapped in my head for so long with guilt and pain.

It’s like I would have the urge to watch them and that scared me but I was like THERE IS NO REASON TO BE SCARED so I would do it to challenge myself and prove I don’t need to be afraid but I think that’s more of a compulsion. I know I’m afraid but I wanna watch it to make me not afraid or check and make sure how I feel is negative if they look young ya know.