I don't know if I have OCD but I have experienced obsessions in almost every subtype. About 7 years ago, I had a year where every day I heard voices telling me to kill myself. I thought these were demons, and also were related to my fear of not being straight. Eventually I felt as though I was not following God and decided to kill myself because I just wanted silence. Someone shared about mental health at church and I realized I had never taken medication. I know it was likely placebo, but in the first hour after I took my first dose of Lexapro, my brain was silent. It was like a physical pill made the spiritual darkness I felt disappear. I guess I've been on meds for 6 years now. I've gone from 5mg to 30mg/day of Lexapro and also another med for seasonal depression. I worry what it does to my body but I tried cutting down on the Lexapro recently and I became so distracted and obsessed about my coworkers talking about me. I don't know that OCD is my biggest issue, as I also have SAD, panic attacks, social anxiety, and PTSD. But the Lexapro usually helps the OCD and I'm a big advocate for trying it out

To clarify, I don't think it was a placebo in the long term, I'm just not sure that scientifically you can notice a change in 1 hr after taking an SSRI. Maybe though because even now I will start to feel weird when I'm a few hrs past a dose and realize I forgot my meds

As an interfaith minister, I believe that the precense of so many religions means that God is definitely interested in having a relationship with all humans. So I try to categorize any thoughts that involve God hating me, damning me, abandoning me, etc as “the OCD” because in my truest hearts I know that God will never not love me and want me to be happy.

In my faith background, there was a huge emphasis on asking God about every decision you make but it totally fed into my OCD thoughts. I couldn't even make a decision like whether to go for a walk without being scared I was disobeying God. But then I figured out that spiritual lessons seem to come up again and again from multiple places if you miss them the first time and somehow they are usually not as obsessive. Also my one friend told me how he asks, "What is God doing in my life" instead of "What does God want me to do." Somehow this gives me more peace. And another friend said she really doesn't think God intends for us to live in confusion

@sierra nevada I think that question is a really healthy method of fostering your relationship with God. Thank you for sharing it with me 💜