- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 4y
I had pcod before I got married and had children. My OCD themes changed a lot. Now I don't have pocd any more. I agree that you shouldn't make fear based decisions. Who knows what your OCD themes are going to be a few years from now.
I developed pocd from having my kid. I never had intrusive thoughts about it until after he was maybe 1 and I saw an episode of some crime show involving children
I’m sorry to hear that. If it’s any consolation - I feel for you massively. You don’t deserve this. I hope you have luck along this journey x
Oh my god I have POCD - and I want to have children. If I can manage to live that life I would feel so happy for myself, I’ve basically ruled it out. I have gronial response, I get it for other topics other than children, basically anything taboo that gives me anxiety. That side, I don’t know how I’ll ever feel right having kids. Have either of you got this aspect? I like to think I can make a recovery from this, now the indicators of my OCD mind are becoming clearer and clearer recently - however even if I recovered the thought it would return and be directed at children is terrifying ! I want a family so badly though :(
Sorry, I meant to reply to you directly, but the response is below!
I hope you LL find courage to pursue building a family despite your OCD fears. I had pocd 10 years ago. For whatever reason it has not bothered me recently. I have 3 children and enjoy them so much.
@Sunflower 1234 You give us all hope, thank you.
Yes, I experience the groinal response too! It’s very common with sexual obsessions. However, the purpose of recovery isn’t to stop these sensations or thoughts or the anxiety, it’s just to sit with the uncertainty of it whenever it arises. So I think part of acceptance is realizing that if you have children, these thoughts could come up, but you will have the tools to deal with them. It’s definitely scary and part of what makes the decision so hard, but I think it would be worth it. Don’t let OCD make decisions for you!
I’ve been feeling the urge to avoid intimacy or purposefully engage (for reassurance that I won’t give into a compulsion) because of intrusive thoughts and fear that I’ll “check/test” my reactions. My OCD is making me so scared that I’ll purposefully think of a child and try to see if I like it. It’s so complicated but I guess I’m mentally checking if I would mentally check during intimacy. I’ve even envisioned myself checking and it’s making me so nauseous. I know it’s a compulsion like any other but the sound of “touching yourself to the thought of a child” sounds atrocious and vile. I’m terrified I’ll automatically start checking next time I am being intimate. I truly feel so worried. If anyone has gone through something similar, I’d appreciate hearing your experience. Or if anyone has any advice?
Please read this. I’ve had ocd pretty much a lot of my life but never knew what it was until my senior year of highschool. I’m 21 with 2 kids and i believe i’ve had pocd a little bit before my daughter was born (which was 8 months ago). It made me start looking at all kids differently and i hate it. But it really started triggering me about 3 months ago. I’ve been thinking if i’d intentionally touched or harmed my kids the wrong way, or any kids for that matter. This started giving me false memories (or at least hope they are). I’ve been having panic attacks, yelling at myself, punching walls, praying, and even thoughts of ending my own life. I grew up in a severe toxic household throughout my childhood and teenage life. I’ve never wished that on my kids since i became a dad. I wanna give them the life i never got. I look back my photos of my children and i feel like i’m a complete fraud of a dad. I cannot look at my kids or be around them a lot of times. I can’t hold my daughter right. I can’t change their diaper when they need it. Even my son came and was hugging on me the other night while i was watching tv and i acted like a stranger to him. I can very little do this stuff sometimes because it’s either i get relief or i push my thoughts as far back as i can. I get scared if i did something to not just my kids, but any other kids in the past. I have such a a great life and such a beautiful family. It was hard and stressful at first being young with a family but i couldn’t be more thankful at all for them. I’m just so lost and stressed right now that i just don’t know what to do anymore
Does anyone else struggle with this? It's been the main thing powering my POCD, and it's only been getting worse. Especially when I see posts online of people sharing their personal stories relating to CSA, specifically grooming. It's so triggering now, but before this theme developed, the most I'd feel while reading posts like that would be disgust targeted towards people who did those things. Now, my first thought is, "What if I do something like that one day? What if I've done it before and I don't remember or didn't know I was doing it?" I have many, many different intrusive thoughts or worries related to this theme, but it all circles back to this specific fear that I'll become like the people who hurt and took advantage of me. Does anyone have advice for this? I'm not sure if I've asked a similar question in the past or not, but is this something I need to deal with separately before beginning ERP for OCD? I'm just curious and also lost on where to begin with all of this. I'm just glad I'm able to begin working through all of these issues now, rather than later in life when I'd probably have a lot more responsibilities. Anyways, any feedback is appreciated! 🤍
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond