- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Hi! Any idea what you would tell someone else in your situation? Like, can you imagine for a minute your bestie came to you with the same thoughts, do you know what you would say/ask her?
- Date posted
- 4y
Hey there, another sufferer of harm/responsibility OCD here. I can share with you what’s helped me, and hope that it’s able to help you, too. (First: meds.) Even more than “an intolerance for uncertainty,” it’s useful for me to concieve of OCD as “an exaggerated sense of responsibility” (whether that’s responsibility as in “duty” or as in “fault/guilt”). It’s okay to wish that you’d had a different influence. But imo, that’s separate from a moral responsibility. In the situation you describe, you wouldn’t have been the decision-maker, or the facilitator, or even a coercive force. You were just someone who had an opinion and shared it. The presence of a mountain does not determine whether someone will climb it, and the precense of an opinion does not determine if someone will take it to heart. I think you know this, but you’re so full of the desire to be a good influence, to protect unborn life, and also so full of the anxiety and pressure to “DO SOMETHING!” that OCD gives you, that your wish to do good has morphed into a feeling that you *ought* to lash out at yourself for your past opinions. This is where both ERP and compassion meditation might help you. ERP to help you disempower the guilty sensation—which are coming at you right now regardless of if they’re justified or not*—and compassion meditation to soften your heart towards yourself, and to turn your mind away from the idea of justice-as-retributive and towards justice-as-constructive. *Feelings are always real, but they are not always very reliable. Bad feelings can signal to us that something is wrong, but that’s not always true, or at least it’s not what we thought. And there are people who commit heinous acts but never lose a wink’s sleep over them. It’s important to listen your feelings, but the key is to learn how to use them to support your values, and also to learn how to not be overcome by them.
- Date posted
- 4y
This is one of the best descriptions of ERP and OCD related feelings!
- Date posted
- 4y
I feel you. I have always been pro-choice, despite the fact that I always thought abortion was "wrong." My philosophy was, "its in their conscience what they want to do, if it is illegal, people will do it anyways if they want to." After my first born, I decided I wasn't going to have more children due to my own PTSD and depression. After my separation with his dad, I dated someone else. Because Im adamant I won't have more children, I changed my tune a bit. I have stated that if I were to get pregnant from this new guy or anyone else, that I would consider abortion. Ironically, the guilt didn't set in until after that guy and I broke up, and I haven't dated anyone since. Now my ocd has begun to target my son and it has been horrible. I feel you girl
- Date posted
- 4y
Ahh, I’m gonna try to answer this without reassuring your OCD and also without turning this into any sort of debate. (Your paranthetical note reminded me this is not a debate forum but a place for OCD sufferers to support each other.) It’s not “pro life” and “anti life” or “pro fetal death”. I tried to find the quote by Jon Stewart, but no one wants to get an abortion. I’m having a hard time with trying not to step over the line to reassurance, (maybe I already have 🤷🏼♀️), so I’m gonna stop this comment there and send you peace.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
so, i’ve talked here before about the discord community i used to be in. they were rpg servers, there were adults and minors both in the community, and while there were rules against NSFW, jokes were definitely still made and lines were crossed. i was 19 at the time, and though i’m fairly certain i never made and explicit sexual jokes or remarks, i was still there when others did. my best friend did make suggestive jokes, and i still laughed. i didn’t leave. i feel guilty and tainted and like this is the end of the line for me- i have a following and an online career, and it feels like all of that is going to go up in smoke, because i didn’t realize that being friends with young teens as an 18-19 year old could be weird, or risky. i feel like this is proof of every bad thing that i’ve worried i am. if i could be there, and be okay with all the things that were said and joked about and just ignore them, what else am i capable of? i love my life, and my family. i don’t want them to see me as a monster. my mom thinks i’m making a mountain out of a molehill, but i don’t know if i agree with her. i’ve looked at other cases of people who have been cancelled for being inappropriate around minors online, sending inappropriate photos or making jokes and their entire lives go up in smoke. Is that me? they’re labeled every horrible thing under the sun. did they just not think? I don’t know what i’ll do if people believe that about me. my worst fear feels like it’s coming to life before my eyes after lying dormant and tugging at the back of my mind for almost 4 years. I fought the urge to re-read old chats for that long, but i finally gave in, and while i still haven’t found anything i said or did that could be considered incriminating, i remember new things every time the last worry starts to settle. I tried to log back into old instagram accounts to check old chats there, and remembered i’d already deleted them in a panic, so now i’ll never know, and it feels like the fact that i felt guilty enough to delete the accounts at all is incriminating enough. I don’t think i can ever move past this. i don’t deserve to be here- i’m actually a monster, and i ruined my life before it even started.
- Date posted
- 24w
hi im experiencing a lot of anxiety and guilt right now. im 16 now but in the past i said many offensive bad things, slurs and racist jokes with my friends. it was disgusting and im not proud of this. I'd never say those stuff to an actual black people to idk make fun or shame them because im not actually racist, i could never hate another person just because their skin colour is different. but i did say disgusting stuff as "a joke" and i feel very guilty about this. I don't think i was always a bad person but for around two years i was just acting mean and pretty shitty. i wish i could turn back time, but that's not possible. i was talking about stuff I didn't have a clue about, i said n word just because "its just a word, it's not that deep!". but now i know it's really more than that. yet I can't move on. i keep thinking about it so much i want to throw up. I can't look in the mirror now i don't know what to do. lately im trying to become a better person, be nice to people close to me and just to finally feel good. but i feel like I don't deserve to change and i create scenarios that people will bring up my past when ill finally be a better person.
- Date posted
- 15w
When is a mistake too big to forgive. I looked at content that I really shouldn’t have (🌽)but I didn’t understand it was wrong at that time and with no parents supervision online . It happened in my teen like 14/15 and I’m so guilty. What makes it worse is that a small artist did something really similar and got cancelled and called disgusting . It is disgusting but I truly didn’t know how disgusting it is and if did I would’ve never done it . And it was worth cancelling her . But I did too so .
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