A few years ago , I was pro choice . On Pinterest , I would like comments that were pro choice and saved pro choice pins to a feminism board. I was like 14-15 at max . I feel really guilty about it , Cuz I am very pro life now . If someone else got an abortion , I would have influenced their descision so I would ah e a part in that . Then again how I influence someone else with my opinion is out of my control . I just liked and pinned what I agreed with at the time . I can’t decide whether my guilt It justified . Do I have a part I. Someone else’s abortion ? ( I don’t mean to give hate to anyone who is pro choice this is just what’s going through my head .)

Does anyone know how to deal with guilt for something you did as a kid that you feel is disgusting and worry that it could have hurt someone you loved.

When I was half asleep today, trying to wake up, my brain kept asking me if I thought this picture of my friend was attractive, I kept replying with “ maybe, I don’t know, I really can’t tell” .. or… “ I feel like I do” “ maybe I do” “ I feel like I might” ,, and then I’m like wait she’s 13 in these pictures, I’m not sure if I was aware of it, but still, it doesn’t matter, I’m still saying it and I’m like “why am I saying this??” I generally don’t know how I feel anymore, I don’t wanna be a bad person, I just don’t understand why I think this is play to say, or feel?? Maybe because my brain is trying to justify it? It tries to justify everything wrong, so makes it feel like it so it makes it harder… I feel like a genuine bad person, because I don’t know how I feel about it, I really don’t know, I’m scared does it mean I’m a bad person? Because I don’t know how I feel about it. I asked myself if I’m genuinely attracted. And I don’t know anymore. Because I don’t know how I feel about it anymore, I feel like my brain is playing a part in it because it tries to tell me that it’s not wrong. Yes it is wrong though but it’s like no it’s not wrong, It makes me really scared. I generally feel like I’m attracted to her and that I have nothing against it and I don’t know what to do anymore., some people may argue that it’s not wrong, but I believe it’s wrong. So I have no idea why I fucking said that. I genuinely think it’s over. I don’t know if I actually am anymore. I asked myself do I actually feel attraction, because i used to go to a conclusion and say no I don’t. And actually feel that way. But now I don’t feel anything but like pain. Because I don’t want to be. At the same time I feel like I just lied and I do want to feel attraction. I just wanna explain how I feel but I can’t. All I know and what I can explain, is that when my brain was asking me these things I said “ I feel like I might maybe I do I can’t tell “ and why did I say that to a 13-year-old? Why? And why am I still saying it even after realizing that maybe I shouldn’t be saying it. I’m 16 for goodness sake. I don’t wanna think about these things. My brain is making me feel like I do and I do and I’m like I’m so confused.

When I was a little kid, I used to be horrible. Every time I thought an animal was too cute or something, i’d get violent, terribly violent. I regret it so much and wish I never did anything like that. It follows me in my mind and I hate it even though I was a child. Then a year or two ago, I got upset at my cat and tossed her onto the bed very quickly and hard, and pushed her down. I remember feeling like I didn’t want to hurt her but I didn’t want to let go. I cried after it happened and gave her many treats. Around the same time, my dog got me mad i just smacked her nose but I still feel sick to my stomach thinking about it. Idk if i was 14 or 15 at the time? I would never do anything to hurt any animal now, but why did I ever do it back then? It makes me so sick thinking about it and now I can’t STOP thinking about it. I still never wanted to hurt my cat, but she got on my last nerve at that moment and it happened multiple times and I threw her pretty fast. I can’t believe I’d ever do that. I’ve been hating myself for it ever since i started thinking about it again. I can’t forgive myself and Idk what to do. I wish I could go back in time and never do what I did. She was still only about 5 months old at that time. She means the world to me and we have a very close bond, but now I feel like I can’t love her because what I did. I feel like I can’t have friends, or anything really because I feel like I don’t deserve anything. I feel like a terrible monster and I hate that I ever did anything to a little angel that didn’t even do anything wrong. Idk how to forgive myself. I hate that I did that and I wish I never did. It still wasn’t as bad as it was when I was little, but it’s still not okay at all and I can’t go back in time and change it, so now idk what to do with myself. I feel like I don’t deserve to be around my cats babies even though I love them with all my heart. I’m 16 now and not the same ragey person as i used to be. I had a lot of anger built up from an ex that I was with at the time, but still WHY would I take it out on my beautiful cat. The more I think about it, the worst it gets, it’s sucking up all of my happiness.