- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
that actually sounds horrible especially with this pandemic. i don’t have contamination anxiety but i live in california where the cases are really bad and i know how important it is to stay away from people and be clean. idk if you’re in a place with lots of cases, but either way you should probably talk to him about being more clean and safe for your families and his own safety.
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes so I live in London so we have a fair few cases. We’ve spoken to him but he says no, he says he fine, he says we’re neurotic, and that it’s societies expectation for him to wash but he doesn’t want to. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to live with him and that sounds really bad but it’s true!
- Date posted
- 4y
@Lola_ bruh that’s so bad i’m so sorry. the fact that he’s ignoring scientists and doctors💀💀maybe try having a deep talk with him about how you feel unsafe and that you would really appreciate it if he could be better about things
- Date posted
- 4y
@flowerboy The difficulty is that I’ve tried but he just says that that is my problem! :/
- Date posted
- 4y
Sounds like these would be issues for anyone, OCD or not. I know since I hit my 30s I don’t shower as often as in my teens and 20s. There is a grain of truth to the idea that as societies, we now favor overwashing for what is the healthiest for our skin and hair. HOWEVER, daily grooming (even if not full shampooing or whatnot) is still important and what we as primates should naturally do! Teeth, everyday; face, everyday; when ya smell like BO; wash off those bacteria! Especially if I was living with a sibling’s family, I’d be extra diligent about cleanliness, even without a pandemic. When you’ve talked with him, have you told him that he actually smells? I mean that’s something that he’d hopefully then realize isn’t your OCD. Also, I make a rule in our house: ya come through my door, ya wash your hands. (Only not enforced if someone literally is picking something up with masks on and so doesn’t want to stay or have possible cross contamination.) Good luck with this tricky situation. 💜 (I’m about to go give my pup a bath tonight. He HATES getting wet, but he deals with it. So he sends you clean snuggles if ya’d like them.)
- Date posted
- 4y
Lots of people have told him! He was actually sent home from a job and fire from a job for his lack hygiene and BO. I’m not sure he will change, he won’t listen to his closest family and friends or strangers and even a doctor! Of course I have heightened health and germs anxiety so I know sometimes my standards are high, but I just want the basic cleanliness... thanks for the pup hugs :)
- Date posted
- 4y
@Lola_ Sorry you have to deal with that, especially in a pandemic! Anytime for pup snuggles! Just reach into the ethers and know he’s sending them. (I was working with him to be a therapy dog before Covid changed social interactions. So he can use the practice even from afar.). 🐶
- Date posted
- 4y
Oh wow that’s a brilliant idea!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Sorry if this is tmi. In advance, I know some germs are fine - I'm all for that, and it definitely does ease some contamination anxiety. But I have lots of anxiety surrounding going to the bathroom, specifically number two. Again I'm so sorry if this is tmi. I went yesterday, and obviously my hands were contaminated because well, they are when you go to the bathroom. But also because I accidentally brushed the back of my hand against myself. When you're done in the bathroom you obviously put underwear back on, and trousers or whatever, but I wash my hands before touching my trousers but not underwear. So I do that bit before I wash my hands, but my hand, the very contaminated part, touched like a bit of my skin at my waist. At the time, I brushed it off, thinking that my trousers will cover that anyway for the time being. But then today, I wore leggings that are kind of small on me and they weren't as high waisted. And then I got in my bed, and had a t-shirt on, and probably touched so many things. I changed my t-shirt, meaning it touched my hair as I took it off. So now I'm paranoid I have poop particles all over me. I'm convinced I need to have a full shower again and wash my hair. I'm okay with having a shower, but I barely have enough energy for that let alone washing my hair too. I don't shower every day, so with my schedule, I'm not due to have one until tonight. I just want to be able to get up, get dressed, and go about my day. But how do I do that when my bed feels contaminated and I feel like I need to change the bedsheets. How do I cope when it feels like poop particles are in my HAIR. And that could totally be possible. I know some germs are fine. But I just don't know what to do.
- Date posted
- 18w
(long read ahead, sorry lol) I’ve struggled with ocd for as far back as I can remember. I find that it gets worse with stress, and recently I’ve really been struggling with the contamination aspect of my ocd. I’m worried about it becoming unmanageable and negatively affecting my relationship with my partner. I’ve been living with my boyfriend since January (got kicked out of my house a week after I turned 18, it’s for the better though my house is toxic as hell) and I love living with him, but him and his family aren’t as concerned with cleaning as I am used to. My boyfriend and I have been together going on 2 years and there’s been many times throughout our relationship that his struggle with depression severely impacted his ability to keep up with cleaning his room. This is something I completely understand because I’ve struggled with it too so i’ve often helped him clean, and since i’ve moved in he’s done so much better at keeping up with cleaning (especially because he knows about my issues with clutter, mess, germs, etc.) He is really good at being accommodating towards my needs (not overly so, i’m aware that recovering includes accepting being uncomfortable), but it’s so hard for me to differentiate between what is the normal standard for cleanliness and hygiene and what’s excessive and unhealthy. I get so stressed out every single day over the thought of how dirty everything is. He has 3 cats that mainly stay in his room (he has a catio attached to his window/side of the house) and dogs which stay on the opposite side of the house and backyard, so there is fur everywhere constantly (i’m also allergic to cats but it’s not severe). I can’t stop thinking about how they are getting germs from their litter box all over everything. They also used to piss under his bed and in his closet when his room used to be a mess and it’s soaked into the floor so no matter what it stinks. It’s so hard to bring myself to walk around the house without slippers because my feet will get visibly dirty and my socks would get covered in hair. I always think about how my boyfriend sometimes walks on the rugs in the bathroom in shoes and all the germs that spreads. There’s so many more things but this is already getting long and I am shaking just thinking about how unclean everything is. I want to deep clean the entire house myself so I can get it to where It’s not like psychological torture everyday and it’s easier to maintain but I have been so busy I don’t have the time. I am worried about my boyfriend thinking I don’t like living with him or that I think that’s he’s dirty but i don’t. We have had several conversations about this and he’s reassured me that he knows none of my obsessive thoughts are personal but I still feel so bad about it. I would like to get therapy to help work through this but currently that is not an option for me. I know things will get better once I get through the main things in my life that are causing a lot of stress and therefore making my ocd flair up, but I need advice on what to do in the mean time. I keep having moments where all I can do is shake and cry and clean and I feel bad for my poor boyfriend who can only sit next to me and try to comfort me or help me clean. I also don’t want to make him worried that nothing he does is enough for me (i’ve also already talked to him about this and told him about how I can never even be clean enough for myself and that I don’t think he’s dirty). There’s been many times where I want to tell him to do things that I think might be my own unhealthy compulsions (ex. not wearing shoes in the house or in our room, not getting into bed with socks on, making sure to completely dry off before getting out the shower, put makeup and jewelry back where they belong right after using them, etc.) but i can’t tell if they’re reasonable or not and i try to not tell him unless it’s something that severely distresses me. I’m aware that everything is going to have germs no matter what and have been using NER’s to help manage my thought spirals/rumination. I know that I shouldn’t keep doing compulsions because it just offers temporary relief and makes the problem worse because nothing will ever be enough. I just feeling so overwhelmed and hopeless and exhausted and want some feedback.
- Date posted
- 16w
sorry this is super long i just wanna know if anyone else has been thru something similar bc i feel super alone 🩷 i have super bad contamination ocd. it was bad already but my house was like my safe space until a few months ago someone brought something into my house that i considered ‘contaminated’. and so then i felt like that part of the house was contaminated, then it spread to everything outside my room (since family is moving around touching stuff) and then somehow i got convinced everything in my room except my bed is contaminated and i need to wash my hands after touching it. in my mind its like the contamination just infinitely spreads to things after the tiniest bit of touch. idek what im afraid of anymore or even what the original thing was but i can’t let it go. when i have to wash off contamination i have to wash at least 4 times or until it feels right, or sometimes take rlly long showers and wipe down all my stuff. i even throw away food and clothes or just whole items sometimes because they feel so contaminated i don’t want them in my space. i can’t be super near people or have anyone touch me, and i also can’t bring anything new into my room since it had to go through the entry of my house which feels contaminated. i feel like all i do is lay in bed and then wash my hands and do compulsions so i can go eat or do other stuff around the house. also i never go out because i’m bc people outside make me feel dirty, and i hate thinking about how many people have touched stuff in stores or in public and stuff. so im just in my room worrying all day. i feel so trapped and the contamination/avoiding it is all i think about anymore i barely have time for anything else and im never present when i talk to people because im worrying about if i accidentally got contaminated. im starting erp next week and knowing that im going to have to expose myself to things is really freaking me out. does anyone else have this kind of ocd ? im exhaustedddd 🥲🥲💔
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