I’m brand new to this app, but I’m really hoping to learn more about strategies for dealing with my OCD / mental compulsions (mainly intense visualization and analysis). I think I basically have a type of relationship OCD. My OCD started about 3.5 years ago. I never had any serious OCD issues prior to this. I did have a history of anxiety in adolescence though. My OCD started a few months after I first began dating my wife, when I was 24. We have been married for just over 2 years now. A few months after we first started dating, I discovered that my wife basically almost had a foursome with her ex boyfriend during her previous relationship with him. The “almost foursome” happened about three years before my wife and I started dating. I was completely shocked by this information because I knew that she had only had sex with one other person before me, her ex boyfriend, which was true, and still is true. So it was definitely surprising to learn that she almost had a foursome in the past. The issue for me was further complicated by the fact that I used to be really close friends with her ex boyfriend and with the other couple who was involved in the “almost foursome.” We all basically grew up together. So anyway, when I first discovered that she almost had a foursome during her past relationship, I basically had a panic attack, went totally silent, heart was racing for about 20 minutes. And then from that day forward, the OCD kicked in, and I started performing mental compulsions. I believe a lot of my issue is the uncertainty of not knowing exactly what happened and what it looked like. The fact is that my wife and her ex were in college. They got really drunk with another couple one night. Someone wanted to have an underwear party. They all ended up getting naked eventually. The other girl mentioned the idea of a foursome. They get into a bed. My wife starts making out with the other girl for a few minutes. Then, the other girl starts making out with my wife’s boyfriend for a few seconds. My wife gets jealous, realizes she doesn’t want it to go any farther, gets out of the bed, and tells the other couple to leave. The whole thing probably only lasted for 5-10 minutes, and it was basically nothing more than naked kissing, which is why it is true when she said she has only had sex with one other guy. Anyway, this whole thing was totally out of character for my wife, which is why it was so surprising and confusing. We have a great relationship in a million ways, but my OCD is the biggest problem. For the past 3.5 years, I basically get triggered every day by anything that reminds me about this incident (kissing on TV, talk about sex, threesomes, foursomes, girls making out with each other, the names of the people involved, etc.). When I’m reminded of this, I feel anxious, insecure, incredibly jealous because I’ve never had a threesome or a foursome. I’ve had more sexual partners than my wife, but it still makes me incredibly jealous and insecure. This leads to my obsessions / compulsions. For my compulsions, I basically get stuck in a loop of visualizing exactly what I think happened in as much detail as possible. It’s like I’m watching a movie of the event. It took me a long time to realize that the visualization / analysis was the compulsion, but I discovered this after working with a highly experienced OCD psychologist. The main reason I’m posting all this is because I’m desperately needing some new ideas for coping or exposure therapies that could be helpful. When I first started learning about mental compulsions, etc. I learned about audio loop tapes that you can create to help expose yourself to the triggering ideas or events. So I tried this for a few months. I basically recorded myself reading a narrative of the events that I obsess about, the foursome thing. However, after working with the psychologist, we realized that the narrative, the visualization, and the analysis are all actually part of my compulsion. I think I’m so desperately wanting closure, certainty. Deep down I think that my brain thinks that if it 100% knew what happened, then it could move on, and get over it. But logically, this will never happen of course. I am wondering if anyone had any suggestions for dealing with an obsession / compulsion like this? The best strategy I have found so far is simply “noticing” that I’m having obsessive thoughts and feeling the urge to visualize. I try to sit with the anxiety and the urge for as long as possible, but I usually fail. The best things the psychologist taught me were to stop asking my wife for more details when I felt uncertain about what happened. My psychologist realized this was “checking” for reassurance. It would temporarily relieve some anxiety but it would always end up leading to more and more questions and more anxiety. I wish I could design a more concrete exposure therapy. It’s annoying dealing with something that is all in my head, and it’s so easy to obsess and visualize without anyone even knowing it, that it makes progress difficult. Does anyone have any suggestions or strategies for dealing with intense visualization and analysis? Thank you all for your support!