So... I’ll spill my own tea haha I had a really bad break up two years ago, I really felt that he was “the love of my life” we had such a good connection and I felt like melting every time I saw him, but he cheated on me, twice... He was jealous and kinda controller... I had to break up with him even though I was like so in love and I got really depressed because he immediately started dating with that girl and then he got married very quickly... so I was caught in a loop of emotions and thought that I was not able to stop (as an ocd person you know how this works) I felt so confused, my ocd got harder, I stopped eating, I lost a lot of weight... I was pathetic. So I went to therapy and medication and things started to work out and blah blah blah So I met a really nice guy and we started to dating this year and now I’ve been with this amazing guy for 4 months and I KNOW he is the best thing that could ever happened to me, he is kind and honest and sweet (and way more good looking than my ex haha) BUT I keep feeling like we don’t have any chemistry at all, and telling myself that I don’t love him because I don’t feel the same as I used to feel with my ex so I started to feel like I don’t really like him, looking for flaws in his face or personality and to have the urge to break up with him every once in a while... He is very shy and serious so maybe its matter of time, or maybe it’s me forcing me to feel something... idk I know this may be my ocd because I remember one time with my ex I felt the same, I looked at his face and felt totally uncomfortable, not “in love” as I thought I was... but it didn’t happen as much as now with my bf I’m going crazy, I feel horrible for been making this comparison :( and I feel mean and angry with myself:( hope someone could help me with this, please ? Also I’ve been avoiding therapy since I knew my psychologist’s wife have cancer and I feel like I am going to be a burden to him ? Help :(

Ruth

Date posted: 6y

Give it time. He’s an entirely different person to your ex so how can there be a comparison? I think I felt similar in the first few months of my relationship, then realised I deserved to be treated the way he was treating me. Sometimes the passion and excitement can warp the way we think about someone, so just try and think about the loves being different, not better or worse, and that there’s a REASON you’re with your new boyfriend, not the cheating ex. And get a new therapist if you can! I know that must be really hard but you deserve help :)

Daria91

Date posted: 6y

Love is a choice as several people from here told me so. So now it is your choice to stay with your new boyfriend. I believe that each time love is different. You can get through this, all of us are with you.❤️

rachx22

Date posted: 6y

I agree with Ruth! Since you were so used to your ex and his controlling ways, it is weird to have a nice and caring boyfriend so it seems “off” to you. I went through the same thing in the beginning of my new relationship because of my ex. Give it time and try not to compare the two (I did a lot before too).

Triggered Po...

Date posted: 6y

Thank you so much for reading me ???

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