Okay, I’m having a small moment of clarity, so while I’m having it I’m going to share with you what I’ve learned: If you struggle with ROCD like me, tell your partner you are grateful for them. If you’re like me, you probably don’t say it enough because you’re too caught up with your thoughts and anxiety. It’s hard for me to say what I feel or be vulnerable. I didn’t use it as a compulsion. I just felt the need to tell him how thankful I was for him and grateful I was for him taking care of me and being patient. We’ve been dating almost 2 years now. He knows about my themes. It’s hard I know it is. As soon as I felt the good impulse to tell him how I thankful I was, not only did it make him feel good, but it made me feel good. I didn’t ruminate or check to see how I felt afterwards. I really meant it. Secondly, if you struggle with SOOCD, here’s some videos that definitely helped me: https://youtu.be/79dYWL_nrqU https://youtu.be/qZZ-JNrYjqE https://youtu.be/3FTHSSpHLF4 These kind of helped. My SOOCD is only truly triggered when I’m suffering from my ROCD. So, this helped a little Lastly, if you’re not on any vitamins, consider taking them. Along with my Wellbutrin I take vitamin d3, omega3 in the day and magnesium at night. The one I can tell that helps the most is the magnesium. It’s not going to diminish your thoughts and it isn’t going to take the intensity away sometimes. What it’s going to do is help you feel relaxed and it’s going to help you sleep or get to sleep. It may take over a week for you to notice a difference, but I promise you it’s beneficial anyway. Especially for bone health. That’s it so far. I’m having a rare moment of hey this stuff actually worked. I thought I would share.

Yeah a lot of people tell me I’m self aware too, I get that reaction to it. I meant it more in the ways that you seem very grounded and have already had experience with treatment I was honestly surprised you’d ask me for advice bc I feel like I’m currently off my rocker 😅 but thank you, I need to remind myself this too. Especially if my questions always start with a “what if” that I probably don’t need to entertain it 😅

I really wish I did TBH I think it’s just a slow process u know, like you really just have to focus on the good moments like I have the same thing as u just like switched cause I’m a guy, it’s just a frustrating process

Hello, I don’t know what advice to give as when I’m in a flare up I seem to forget all of the good times 😅 but I’ll tell you what happened from my experience. Sorry this is gonna be long: I’ve had OCD my entire life. I’ve swapped many themes. I didn’t get diagnosed until last month. I’m 23 now. I’ve always questioned everything and dealt with extremely intrusive thoughts that would cause me distress. I’ve had physical and mental compulsions. All are highly distressful. I didn’t develop ROCD until I got into this first serious relationship. It was very distressful. It went from always worried that I wasn’t enough for him, he could do better than me, he might cheat on me and then the questions got more intense to am I really happy, should I break up with him, how do I know he’s the one (btw that’s where the myth of the one and ocd come in please listen to the OCD podcasts episode on ROCD), how do I know I’m in love, what is love, where did my libido go, if I don’t want sex all the time does this mean I’m gay? And thus the SOOCD was born. I had to be put on antidepressants and eventually the thoughts went away after months and months bc I didn’t deal with them I thought it was just another one of my worrying periods. Until now. My advice to you would be seek a therapist if you don’t have one yet, be transparent with them about all of your intrusive thoughts and mental compulsions, listen to the ocd story podcast there’s helpful information there and also in the video links I’ve posted, if you are having panic attacks and physical distress from these thoughts tell your doctor. You’re probably going to have to be put on something. Take if from somebody who knows. You’re not going to be able to fight this alone. Let your boyfriend know you’re going through some things mentally. I was transparent with my boyfriend finally, and he’s super supportive. You’re gonna need a good support system. But refrain from telling him everything or it’ll turn into a confessing compulsion. Just tell him the basics. This is where therapy and talking to your doctor on how to treat OCD is super important. I don’t really know how to do ERP yet bc my therapist hasn’t tackled the ROCD and SOOCD yet with me. She wanted me to start with my contamination first as it’s the lowest rn. You’re not going to get better overnight. My last flare up it took a year and that was without being diagnosed or knowing what to do. Keep telling yourself you’re going to stay. No matter what and ride it out. It will get better. I have to keep telling myself I’ve beaten these flare ups of all these OCD themes for so many years without help, imagine what I can do with help? It’s just this always seems to be the worst one bc it’s trying to attack something I care about most. And that’s what you also have to remember with ocd it’s going to attack what you cherish most. And I’ve noticed that not only with my boyfriend but with family, friends, professors, and bosses. Anybody I’ve ever looked up to or cared about, this nasty mental illness warps it. You can do this. Both of you. Sorry this is so long

@jljbchs I actually did therapy with this app, and once I was finished with the program had my ocd under control mostly. Then it started getting progressively worse. My ROCD was awful and took a toll on my relationship, but he is always there by my side helping, and caring for me. I love this boy so much. Then my HOCD started back up two days ago worse than ever. It’s like all my progress went down the drain. Right now I’m in a bit of a calm state, or at least not panicking. I’m telling myself “it doesn’t matter what I’d do outside this relationship. I’m in this relationship, and I love him. I’m happy with him. Yes I might want to experiment if I wasn’t with him, but I also might not when it comes down to the actual situation rather than imagining it. And that’s where I need to leave it for the rest of eternity

@swill321 Ah, so then you know what it’s like to beat it and it come back too. Just keep telling yourself if I beat it last time I can do it again! It sounds like you are self aware. Maybe I should ask you for advice, I’ve never gotten treatment for this until now as when I’ve been in therapy in the past I never focused on the triggers bc it was never an issue until I’d have an ocd flare up. Then we just thought it was terrible depression and anxiety instead of burn out from obsessing/compulsions and high end anxiety that was panic attacks at just mere thoughts. Just keep pushing through it!