- Username
- anjuli
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I’m sorry you’re going through this. This is probably obvious, but there’s no replacement for seeking professional advice. Maybe try an OCD specialist? Or just a general therapist? I feel for you. Whether this is OCD, depression, or any other mental illness, these feelings can be overwhelming. Until you can seek help, perhaps try various breathing exercises, distracting yourself/unwinding with movies or coloring, etc. breathing in through the nose to the count of five and out through the mouth to the count of five until you feel more relaxed has helped me a lot. Or repeating silly phrases or quotes. Stay strong and please, please, speak to someone who is a professional! :)
Reading this sounds exactly like me!!! I don’t think you are depressed it just seems like uncertainty ocd .. however seeking professional help is the route to go!!! You can start to help yourself now though by researching all about ocd and intrusive thoughts. Remember that ocd is not you it is the bully. ERP Therapy helped me get over those doom/hopeless thoughts I printed out a few erp worksheets that dealt with intrusive thoughts and began reshaping the way I thought when I felt that way.. good luck you will get through it!
Also, if you can’t afford therapy there are ocd research studies available at numerous universities that teach ERP for free (the recommended type of therapy for OCD). They may even compensate you. I live in NY, and went to a Columbia university study which helped me. Best of luck!
Thanks so much. I spoke at length today with my dad who is a doctor and have an appointment booked with a therapist in a couple of weeks. I have a great support system and when I’m in a more relaxed frame of mind I know I’m not at risk of hurting myself. I just get terrified at the thought. I love my kids and my life. I might get overwhelming feelings but I continue to fight and trust God.
Thanks so much! This is helpful
Does anyone get “intrusive feelings”? I’ve experienced intrusive thoughts and urges, but I’m noticing intrusive feelings too. I’m about to start PMS-ing and I’m having weird depressed feelings like “I hate my life, everything sucks, maybe i want to die”. I have suicidal OCD and it seems like this is what my brain gravitates towards when I’m under stress. Even though I DO NOT want to die by any means, my brain throws these thoughts at me and it’s so scary bc I feel like maybe a part of me actually wants to do it. Idk why I feel depressed and shitty about my life when really I don’t want to be you know?? What do you guys think?
At this point I’m pretty sure I’m psychotic. I have intrusive thoughts all day long of me doing a bunch of things that I never and will never do. Images of me poking out my own eyes in all sorts of other horrific things that will have to do with self mutilation. These images have been haunting me for two years with the persisting fear that I will act out on these things one day despite me never wanting to do so. Now on top of these thoughts I am dealing with something else. I keep thinking about the fact that there’s no escape from life other than death and it makes me feel scared and trapped. I can’t stop thinking about this that there’s no escape. It’s scaring me. I want to live I have no desire to die but once I get the intrusive thought about not being able to escape this life is scaring me. I believe I’m going through depersonalization because nothing feels right my surroundings feel unfamiliar I feel unfamiliar. I feel like an alien in a place that seems unknown to me. This all started after I had a panic attack in the shower three weeks ago over my intrusive harm thoughts and in the moment I actually thought that my life was over and that I was about to act out on it but of course I didn’t because it’s just a thought and an obsessive fear. Something I would never do but it felt so real in that momentI almost passed out from the fear. The day after that I felt like nothing was real and I’m still in depersonalization and having panic attacks on the regular but today I got that thought about not being able to escape life and how we’re basically all trapped here. I can’t stop thinking it and it’s making me feel sick. Maybe if I Felt more connected to myself and my surroundings stuff like this wouldn’t bother me but that panic attack destroyed me. Does this sound like OCD or something else?I was completely normal and fine three weeks ago yes I had my intrusive thoughts but they weren’t scaring me or controlling me like they are now.
Sometimes I feel as if I want to act on these thoughts and I will one day because I won’t be able to handle my thoughts and I’ll go insane and hurt myself. right now I feel a lot of pressure in my head and stress and anxiety along with some depression because I can’t seem to find the fun in things anymore also any type of semi stressful situation I go through on a day to day basis is 10x worse after getting this thought I’ve been dealing with this thought that I might not be able to handle my ocd thoughts and compulsions for years and years to come and one day I’ll snap and the last few days I’ve been feeling so down that I’m scared that I’ll act on them and I’ve had this thought for about two weeks now and before that I use to be fine i don’t know what happened I really just want to go back to how I was feeling two weeks ago I honestly don’t know why I got this thought and why it’s stuck in my head now and I can’t seem to shake it off I feel like walls are just crumbling in on me slowly and I can’t seem to get out of it I just keep wishing I went back to my normal self literally two 2-3 weeks ago I just don’t know what might have happened I know I was dealing with a great amount of stress before I got this thought so maybe it was building up to this one thought that I had two weeks ago. I usually am able to shake some of my ocd thoughts off and disregard them and continue about my day but this one thought got me into a hyperventilating state when I got it two weeks ago and it caused me to panic so much because it was such a bad thought that I can’t get rid of it now i feel as if I’m in a episode and Ill never get out of it and I’ll be stuck like this forever and I can’t feel like this because how should any human feel this type of way forever it’s impossible and then I might snap one day because I can’t take it anymore it just scares me I want to go back to my old self a few weeks ago
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