Having a breakdown after an old friend mocked my traumas and made it into a joke (being sexually coerced by a con sugar daddy to do sexual favors in a bar basement). First he comforted me about this when I opened up to him and made me not feel bad about the past. I understand some friends don’t think it’s something I should stress about and that it’s not that serious, but it was just too soon for me. He has some sociopathic/narc tendencies and I used to be his friends with benefits in college. 5 years later, he randomly messaged me saying he had a dream about me and invited me to visit him in Florida. Last minute he changed his mind and he said it was a drunk horny decision he made to invite me. I was so disappointed because I’ve been so lonely in this pandemic and was planning for this trip. He felt weird after opening up to me that since he was little he felt he was a sociopath. So I went off of that and would joke sometimes with him with clinical terms. He would get sensitive about it and I guess in return made jokes about things I opened up to him about. We have a weird dynamic of hot and cold. My brain is still wired to feed off of other peoples words, so the trauma he joked about I have been having intrusive thoughts about today with anxiety.

I don’t worry about him telling anyone, because I have so much dirt on him as well, and he wrote it all in text to me. He told me his father used to beat him from 4 to like 15 years old, and when he was 7 some old man drowned and all his classmates were crying except him, so he figured something was wrong with him. But he isn’t a violent person and he told me that as well. He just can be spiteful. He is from Egypt originally and he was never used to my New York personality. Sometimes I come off offensive or abrasive. I think he thinks I know he’s kidding when he says things to me but I don’t think he realizes how much I’ve changed in 5 years and how truly fragile I am. He thinks I got over things already. I didn’t know joking he was a sociopath would upset him so much because he would joke about it so I’m going to keep my mouth shut about it. We had a very intense sexual relationship so the sexting is what keeps me and him talking. I think I’m lonely now and I’m putting up with him. I’m more careful and self aware and I don’t like how I still put up with things.

I took your advice and tried to set boundaries with him. He apologized and said he thinks the best way to get over things is to laugh about it. He was upset at me for my attitude and name calling (I guess it came out that way over text).