Is anybody else in a great relationship but is having trouble being in the moment because they’re afraid they’re secretly a lesbian in denial? It’s so distressing because if these worries and obsessions turned out to be true, it would basically invalidate the whole relationship. It’s causing me soooo much anxiety. Like every time we kiss instead of enjoying it my brain is going “am I feeling anything/enough?” Etc etc very distressing

Thank you!!! Trying to avoid being hurt? What do u mean?

@hi,itme It means that there is a fear of loss/ being hurt behind the worries and obsessions. (Notice that you used the word "afraid") this means that your brain is trying to throw you everything that could possibly scare you and make you leave to prevent the heartbreak of being left

@sofia That actually makes a lot of sense. By attaching myself to this anxiety/fear, maybe it’s just my brain’s way of protecting myself from getting hurt. I hope that’s what it is. The thing is though, I’ve had OCD for as long as I can remember, and while I have cycled through many different obsessions/subtypes over the years, SO-OCD is the one that feels the most real and causes me the most distress...And then the fact that I’ve suffered from it for so long/worried about it on and off for so many years makes me think it must be based in some truth 😭 and what if it’s not OCD at all?

@hi,itme I don't think that the duration has anything to do with your theme but has a lot to do with the approach. If you react with fear everytime your brain will send you those thoughts because it perceive danger. It's like reacting with panic to false alarms constantly

@sofia Thank you for taking the time to respond again, I really appreciate it. So, you’re basically saying that worrying about something for a very long time does not point to a deeper truth, but rather the way my brain has become wired to react to certain thoughts with such great fear and importance?

@hi,itme Yes, exactly. But it can point to a deeper meaning too, but it's not going to be your sexuality I promise. Ocd thoughts are just the surface, in this case the deeper meaning could be something related to your level of confidence or the lack of self esteem. Do you feel like not trusting yourself? Because THAT is the meaning behind you questioning obsessively your sexuality. Try to put the thoughts down , maybe try to delay them(this is what i do) , instead of the pattern: intrusive thought- anxiety/urgency - compulsion, try to do this : intrusive thoughts- anxiety/urgency- delaying the compulsion for 5 min, then try to delay again and eventually this will help at least calm your anxiety a little bit. I hope that was clear, i'm italian so i don't speak/write english so well.

@sofia Your English is very good, don’t worry! I don’t even know what my “compulsion” is. When I get a triggering thought about my sexuality, I just get anxious and depressed and then I feel like I need to take a nap to escape my brain. How old are you? I’m 24 and my OCD started when I was about 12. I’m so scared that the thing that triggered my OCD in the first place was homosexual feelings/thoughts that I wanted to suppress or something, and that even though I’ve cycled through quite a few OCD themes over the year, that my entire 12 year ocd experience is genuinely about my sexuality 😭 basically doubting that the struggle is even OCD and not based in something real..does that make sense?

@hi,itme *over the years

Thank you for the recommendation!