You guys I need to let this go! I’m driving myself crazy over a dream. I don’t know how to let it go. I had a sexual dream while I was holding my daughter. It was about normal things and then i felt like I was about to have a sleep orgasm and then I started to smell her and feel her(because I was smelling her and feeling her, she was laying on me) and had a vision of pulling her into me, and smelling her head-then I jolted awake. I did not have an orgasm, and I woke up and she was asleep. But Im having this fear that would if she was the reason I was turned on to begin with in the dream? Would if I didn’t wake up quick enough? Would if I did actually go to pull her into me, and it wasn’t just the dream? I’m so disturbed and I want to let it go!!!! I wanna let it go so badly. As soon as it happened I said okay it was a dream, don’t ruminate. And then I fucked up and came back to it a few hours later and started to ruminate and now I’m stuck in the rabbit hole. Would if it wasn’t a dream? Would if I had some level of consciousness and knew what I was doing? Would if I enjoyed it? I’m having such a hard time! I just wanna move on from it.

I had an awful intrusive thought/half-dream (I was in the weird place between awake and sleeping lol.) and it actually started off fine but then my brain said “this is a child” and I literally panicked. I was kind of aroused when it started and I feel so guilty about it. I know the body responds to what is “sexually relevant” but it’s such a scary, awful, disgusting feeling, I feel like a terrible person for having this come into my head. Like I secretly want it

I feel like I am going insane. My ocd has never been this bad before. I’m waking up every morning with extreme dehabilitating anxiety. I am gagging and using the restroom all of the time. My pocd has reached an all time high. I work in a law firm and read a very disturbing case involving child abuse and child pornography. Ever since my world has been twisted upside down. I feel like the line is so thin. Like anyone can cross it in a split second and their world can be flipped upside down in an instant. I have a daughter of my own and that night after having read that story at work, my intrusive thoughts and feelings were at an all time high. I was changing her diaper and had intrusive thoughts which I knew was going to, givin the triggering and emotionally draining day I had. I quickly pushed them out of my head and then what happened next is some what of a blur because I have spent the last five days ruminating it over and over and over again in my head. I was trying to get her to lay down in her crib and she kept standing up. I was gonna lay her down in a way that required me to maneuver her with one hand and that one hand would be in between her legs, over her clothes and her diaper. I see people carry and handle their babies like this all of the time but I always avoid it. This time I didn’t. I fought the compulsion to move my hand. Because it is in fact, not a sexual thing at all. But in my mind I had it made out to be. I remember moving her super quickly in that fashion and immediately feeling guilt like I did it in a malicious sexual way. Even though the movement itself is not sexual at all, because it has been in my mind forever as a sexual place I’ve always avoided it. I was attempting to fight the compulsion and now as a result because I didn’t move my hand, I feel like I have done something horrible. I feel so guilty. All because of a quick 5 second movement. I keep imagining me without my daughter, going to jail, her not having me, my family disowning me. I can’t handle the immense amount of emotional distress I am feeling because of this event. I keep feeling like I could’ve moved her in a different way, why did I have to move Her in the way that required my hand to be between her legs? Was it me trying to somehow act out on the intrusive thoughts I had previously? I am so torn apart by this. I would never ever intentionally hurt my baby. Ever. My biggest fear is her being abused. In an attempt to stand up to my ocd and desexualize that specific action, it has launched me into the worst ocd episode of my life.

I just woke up from a dream where I was helping with someone’s baby, and I was excited to help them change their diaper. I don’t think I had evil intentions in the dream because I didn’t think anything creepy, but it makes me feel weird that I was excited. I think I was just excited to help with the baby but I also in the dream was nervous because I didn’t want to look at their privates. My mom was with me and I was asking her questions about what to do, so it makes me feel better she was with me like I really didn’t have evil intentions. But it still makes me feel uncomfortable and I woke up before actually going near their diaper. I feel anxious and my heart is racing because I feel like I wasn’t in a deep sleep and like I was fantasizing. I in real like have zero desire to go near a baby and I know I would be too afraid to help change a diaper. But also now I keep having images of them without the diaper in my head and it feels like I’m fantasizing. I don’t care about a child’s privates, it’s none of my business. I think the only reason I had this dream is because I worry with intrusive thoughts about harming children a lot in the day. But I’ve been up a lot of the night and again makes me worried that I wasn’t all the way asleep and was enjoying it. People have told me not to pay attention to dreams but it’s just hard not to.