- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I can relate to what your thinking and feeling absolutely... you are not a pedo in denial.. it’s the ocd tricking you.. your even being tricked into serious doubt about your ocd.... iv listened to the doctor before.... if you listen carefully to his information... he describes someone with ocd and you are that person... don’t over think it....your not a child abuser in denial.. your not a pedo... when iv struggled like you.. iv actually gone and said fuck it... and said to the thoughts and feelings.. “ok I agree with you” I don’t care anymore “....... and guess what.... I didn’t abuse a child... I still didn’t want to... and the intrusive thoughts calmed down... and when I actually tried to feel the way ocd tells me I do I couldn’t... the fake attraction wasn’t there....it’s all symptoms of this doubting disease we have... the worst thing we could imagine being is like those pedos on the news we see all the time and in films....just trust yourself your heart.. the real you....say to your brain fuck it I don’t care
- Date posted
- 6y
I also have found the Podcast OCD stories to be extremely helpful. It's nice to hear other peoples stories and journeys through recovery. It's on spotify and I'm sure other places. Chrissie Hodges is a very cool speaker, an OCD advocate has a youtube channel. I try not to use them compulsory, but when I was completely entrapped and in the dark it helped pull me out and understand how my brain works.
- Date posted
- 6y
I don’t want to act on it, I’m just so so scared that it seems like the attraction is “real”. I can’t get out of bed. My husband has been so so supportive but I feel so guilty because I just want to sit in bed and cry
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks crets.
- Date posted
- 6y
“, and really fully participate in living, and accept their brain’s creativity if it has associations of children being attractive” Is this ERP? of children being attractive? Does he mean in a non sexual way like “oh that child is pretty” or is he talking about accepting unwanted thoughts? Sorry guys :(
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you so much for your responses by the way. I can barely function
- Date posted
- 6y
I have the same fears with that particular rendition of it. We have to remember that the themes are ego-dtstonic meaning their exact opposite of our true nature/character. This is the worst part of OCD for me because I am grieving the fact that everything I care about is tainted by OCD, afraid of hurting my dog, my family, my house burning down or harming a child. I feel your pain, I am coming out of a really dark spiral and learning to identify when OCD is playing tricks on me. It is very difficult, but the fact that we are here trying to learn good coping skills speaks volumes. I wish you well in your recovery.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 13w
18+ TW! Involves sexual content I have learning disabilities which means im always going to be 3-5 years mentally behind from my actual age… when I was 14 I remember finding people saying they work with kids “attractive” and I remember mastu*** over a kid around 5+ but when I was 14 I was either mentally age 11 or 9. So I didn’t know it was wrong, and as soon as I realised I stopped. People say I was young and it’s okay but I remember finding people saying they even walked past a nursery “attractive” but I don’t know if this is even the right word. Maybe cute? Because I find different emotions hard to tell the difference between, so maybe it’s cute rather than attractive. I never ever had intentions to do anything to younger individuals, it was just me finding people saying they worked with them etc attractive… which my ocd now plays on, because my friend mentioned they were working with kids but idk if it was the real me or not but I genuinely felt like I found it attractive and it was giving my so many groinal responses which then made me feel genuinely aroused like I wanted to do things. This plays on my mind because my ocd will always say “but you did/do find stuff like this attractive” but this literally stops me from eating, sleeping or anything. I can’t break from my compultions because what if I do genuinely find it attractive. I don’t think it’s even attractive maybe it’s cute? Like I find it cute… but cuteness can give people feelings down there I guess. I think because if my learning disabilities I found it hard to know the difference between “attraction” and cute so I did stuff over it because it gave me that feeling down there but that could of been cuteness feeling. I just need some support on this.
- Date posted
- 12w
TW So I haven’t been diagnosed with pocd, but many ppl said that I have it. I was in bed when I remembered this time when I first started experiencing what I hope is false attraction not actual pedophilia, I’m looking back on it rn n I’m worried it wasn’t false attraction, I remember feeling a sense of attraction when I saw that kid, I was about14 at the time and the kid was 11 or 12. I remember constantly searching to see if it was normal for a 14 year old to like a 12 or 11 year old, I was worried when I was doing that i think, I also kept walking pass her to look at her i think to check if i was attracted or not, but it makes me worried that I was attracted to her because im worried that i did it bc i was actually attracted. now looking back on it rn, I don’t feel panic, worry, shame, or guilt, I originally only felt panic and worry, never shame or guilt. Now I don’t feel any of it, not feeling panic and worry now makes me think that I am a p, I don’t want to be a p. I hope im not a p, Ive talked to a therapist and they’ve said that it’s pocd, but it wasn’t a official diagnosis, I’m worried it was a false diagnosis because I lied on one or two of the questions. I also constantly get senses of what I hope is false attraction when I see some kids, I keep trying to figure out if it is real or false attraction. Can someone give me some advice please
- Date posted
- 12w
TW So I haven’t been diagnosed with pocd, but many ppl said that I have it. I was in bed when I remembered this time when I first started experiencing what I hope is false attraction not actual pedophilia, I’m looking back on it rn n I’m worried it wasn’t false attraction, I remember feeling a sense of attraction when I saw that kid, I was about14 at the time and the kid was 11 or 12. I remember constantly searching to see if it was normal for a 14 year old to like a 12 or 11 year old, I was worried when I was doing that i think, I also kept walking pass her to look at her i think to check if i was attracted or not, but it makes me worried that I was attracted to her because im worried that i did it bc i was actually attracted. now looking back on it rn, I don’t feel panic, worry, shame, or guilt, I originally only felt panic and worry, never shame or guilt. Now I don’t feel any of it, not feeling panic and worry now makes me think that I am a p, I don’t want to be a p. I hope im not a p, Ive talked to a therapist and they’ve said that it’s pocd, but it wasn’t a official diagnosis, I’m worried it was a false diagnosis because I lied on one or two of the questions. I also constantly get senses of what I hope is false attraction when I see some kids, and I keep trying to figure out if it is real or false attraction. Also some other time today I was feeling aroused and I wanted to m#sturbate, but then thoughts of kids started popping up, I think that I didn’t like them, I’m not sure any more, but while I was finishing the thoughts kept comigg by, idk what it means but it felt like I enjoyed it, which made me worried, but after I finished the thoughts disappeared a lot more, idk why that happened idk what it means, could someone give me some advice pls?? I don’t wanna be a pedo. All of that happening makes me feel like I am one, can someone give me advice on what’s happening and what I am??
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