I told my boyfriend yesterday that I’m doubting my feelings and my love for him. We had what I thought was a huge breakthrough last weekend where he knew it was just OCD and anxiety and he said he would remove himself emotionally and realize it isn’t about him and I felt such a relief with this like wow he finally understands my mind and it’s safe to let him in. But when I told him yesterday about doubting my feelings he completely freaked out and gave me shit saying how he can’t get down the road and have me still saying I’m doubting my feelings for him. He said it’s been “3 or 4 months since I last mentioned this” and I’m like where have you been it’s literally the reason I’m getting help and it just happened last week so like????? He also said “yeah well I thought that was OCD and not doubting your feelings” and doesn’t realize it’s the same thing????? I’m just so beyond hurt. I thought it was safe to open up to him and tell him my thoughts and now I feel like we’re on two different planets like he didn’t even realize this was going on?? Should I just break up with him so I stop hurting him and stop feeling this weird numbness?

Don’t think that way. In all honesty my relationship with my husband is the first ever real relationship I had. I don’t think your boyfriend is a rebound. It sounds like you really care about him a lot more than your other ex boyfriends. If you didn’t love him you wouldn’t be going through this.

Hi, I really relate to telling the people close to you that you have ocd and sometimes they understand and sometimes they don’t. He probably just felt hurt that you told him about your doubts again, which was too soon for him. You’re 100% valid in how you feel!!! But it can be so hard for others to understand. Their minds just don’t work like ours. And even if they themselves have ocd, each person experiences it so differently because of how personal of a disorder it is. Sometimes even though it hurts, we can’t say everything on our mind to our loved ones, especially if it’s pertaining to them. It feels so real in the moment but to them they can’t just forget it and they don’t understand it how you do. I had an awful obsession about my best friend a couple years ago, and when I’d tell her about the obsession soemtimes she’d be ok and other times she would feel like I was attacking her and she just didn’t get it, which was valid on her part. I think the best thing to do sometimes is work it out by ourselves or with someone who isn’t the person relating to the obsession. Because we don’t always feel the same obsession pressure you know? But to them it’s much longer lasting.

This is a tough situation. I am going through this right now. Lately I’ve been doubting my feelings for my husband of 10 years...... people tell me things about him and then I obsess over them even though I’ve never was worried about it before. But he knows I am doubting my feelings for him and he even told me he’s scared it’s me. I know I am hurting him but it started due to his feelings for me. He is depressed too. I’ve had ROCD on and off for 7 years of our relationship since I’ve never had it properly treated. By the sounds of your boyfriend he is scared too. It is safe to open up but it’s best to have a friend that you can trust or even someone on here to talk with about this. This is a very scary feeling. But you don’t need to tell your partner everything about this. I talk to my two friends. One who goes through ROCD herself and one that’s starting to understand what ROCD is. If you ever need someone to talk to I’m here for ya. This is hard to deal with alone.

Love is a choice. Love isn’t based on feeling. Trust me hearing this I’ve always thought love was based on feelings. But knowing that gave me hope. But people with ROCD or ocd in general overthink everything. Besides ROCD I have ocd with other things too I’ve obsessed over things I shouldn’t of.

I’ve had other boyfriends before but I’ve never truly loved them like I do for my husband. For me I’m doubting everything. My love and his love for me. My brain scares me a lot. When he’s not around I randomly break down crying due to it. I just don’t want him to see me cry. So I hold it in. But you are doing great trying to heal. Don’t tell your boyfriend everything just know that you do them him. Talk to your therapist or close friends about this. 😊 eventually he will see your trying to heal and he will get that it’s not truly you.