emme
- Date posted
- 4y
AJB87AJB87
- Date posted
- 4y
I’ve experienced the same thing man. My wife and I got married in March 2020 and there have been challenging times due to my ROCD/HOCD. However, as I’ve chosen to keep loving my wife in tangible ways and as we’ve walked through this hard time together, our intimacy has grown. We waited until marriage as well. Sometimes, HOCD/ROCD will try to interrupt. When I’ve paid attention and given meaning to the thoughts, it was tough. However, when I’ve chosen to be present and intentional with my wife despite the OCD, the result has been a time of growing closer together.
emmeemme
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you, that’s really useful and makes a lot of sense. I’m glad I’m not alone.
jrlane15jrlane15
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
It takes time to get comfortable for sure, just take it day by day and remember that OCD doesn’t have the final say.
kknykkny
- Date posted
- 4y
Great job. In regards to intimacy maybe it will, maybe it won't, but it sounds like you want to move forward towards pursuing a loving relationship with your girlfriend into marriage. It sounds like that is a value or yours so pursue that.
jrlane15jrlane15
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Have you talked to a counselor about this? I experienced similar stuff and speaking with a therapist for a few sessions prior to the wedding was super helpful.
emmeemme
- Date posted
- 4y
Yup in fact I had counselling this morning and we discussed it. It makes me feel very vulnerable and insecure. I’m glad to know you have experienced similar stuff. I think I have Hollywood/pornographic expectation about sex with her, but in really I feel a bit scared
jrlane15jrlane15
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Expectations are dangerous, make it about the two of you.
emmeemme
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you. Yeah the truth is I really really care about her and I just don’t want it to be awkward and cause anxiety
jrlane15jrlane15
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@emme It will be something that you have to deal with, but working on it beforehand and communicating about it will help. You have the rest of your lives to be together. Don’t put all the pressure on the honeymoon.
emmeemme
- Date posted
- 4y
@jrlane15 Absolutely, she’s really easy to talk to but I would worry that she might feel rejected if I express anxiety about sex
AJB87AJB87
- Date posted
- 4y
@emme Does your girlfriend know about your recovery?
emmeemme
- Date posted
- 4y
@AJB87 No not really, I’ve told her a bit about OCD and my anxiety but I’ve never told her the full story. Does your wife know ?
AJB87AJB87
- Date posted
- 4y
@emme Yes. She has walked with me through my OCD recovery. She’s been my number one supporter.
AJB87AJB87
- Date posted
- 4y
@AJB87 In fact it’s brought us closer
jrlane15jrlane15
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@emme I think it’ll be super helpful - hard at first but very beneficial. There are podcasts and books that help.
emmeemme
- Date posted
- 4y
@jrlane15 Brilliant, that’s sounds good. I think she needs to know. She struggles with anxiety herself so she will understand. Which books and podcasts do you recommend ? Thanks
jrlane15jrlane15
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@emme The OCD stories podcast has episodes for family members of those with OCD. There’s a book called “When a Family Member Has OCD” I believe by Jon Herschfield
emmeemme
- Date posted
- 4y
CORRECTION - ‘asking my girlfriend’ - not wife
emmeemme
- Date posted
- 4y
When I started with OCD I really thought I would never experience the desire/courage to consider marriage but here I am and I’m so happy about it. It’s a big step and I want to begin to prepare myself for some upcoming challenges
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