Hi! I'm new to this app. I've been having strange things and experiences for seven years, and I am 14 years old. It was 4 months ago that I researched about it and found out was OCD. I am not sure of it yey because I haven't consulted a psychatrist yet due to quarantine. That's why I'm still bearing the same attacks all over and over. It worsens as days pass. It affects me in my studies. I would like to share what I experience. I really hope someone would help me. When I was in gradeschool, I used to: - do repetitive acts (such as blinking, touching other people) because if I don't, something bad might happen - utter repetitive phrases to make me feel better - non-stop intrusive thoughts These lessened when I stepped in 7th grade for I became busy. But it came back when I was grade 8 and made it worse during this quarantine. In the present time, I: - experience intense sexual thoughts, thoughts of harming someone, dark images that are never my intention - death and history lessons in school trigger me - I always pray and stick to my religious beliefs for I feel guilty of my unwanted thoughts - I repeat words to make me feel better - I scream frequently for a second, turn my body, or pray, as an act of stopping an intrusive thought, but I find it hard and I always end up breaking down emotionally Would someone help me? I can't afford a psychologist. Thank you so much for reading. We are stronger than what we think!

Hello, I’m new to this app. I’ve always had an anxious brain, and I’ve had coping mechanisms for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, from as early as I could spell, until I was probably early teens, I would constantly write words in my head along to the beat of music. It’s such a vivid memory because I never stopped doing it. The word had to perfectly match up to the lyric and I loved that it kept my brain busy. I grew out of that, but felt like good context. My anxiety increased drastically around ages 17-19, and I began therapy. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and panic disorder, due to having a panic attack nearly every day at that time. I overcame that as well, and now the panic attacks are every now and then, but the anxiety is constant, and some recent symptoms have led me to believe I might have some form of OCD. Maybe not. I’m trying to understand myself and get better so I joined this app to make sense of things. Lately I’ve been having really intense intrusive thoughts. I’m really embarassed and they make me feel like a bad person. Thoughts pop in my head seemingly out of nowhere. It will be an image of me harming myself or someone else in a really bad way. (Trigger warning) for example the other day I couldn’t shake the image of me putting a knife through my own forehead, although it’s not something I want to do. Or I’ll imagine someone killing me. I imagine my loved ones dying often. The thoughts feel so out of my control it’s insane. I hate them. Another persistent issue that isn’t as new is replaying social scenarios. I’m a hairstylist so this one is difficult since I meet a bunch of new people every day. I obsess over how I act and if people like me. I will impulsively say things all the time and they will haunt me for weeks. I question even my closest friends and family who show their love. I find myself so angry and numb and like I have so much built up emotion and a busy mind always. While doing my job I spiral really badly if any little thing goes wrong and it’s embarassing. I know there’s more but I can’t think of it now. I just want to feel better and like I’m not constantly battling my mind.

Hello. I joined this app because I realised my experiences might be due to OCD. I often have these really disgusting and terrible pictures of me becoming someone horrible, doing horrible things to others. These ideas really disturb me, and often in my mind, and physically sometimes, I literally scream quitely to myself, "Shut up!" Over and over until the image goes away, but unless I distract myself with something else immediately after, it comes back and gets worse. I also end up looking back on these thoughts, and being terrified that maybe I am thinking of this because it is what I truly want, so I end up desperately trying to filter my thoughts, and this ends up carrying into something like SO-OCD, even though I am confident that I am a straight male, and there is no evidence that I am not, I keep trying to prove to myself that I am straight to make the thought go away. I also get the fear that after I maybe do something and say something I know I maybe shouldn't have to someone, that when they leave, or I can't find them for a bit, they have gone to commit suicide. Likewise, I also get intrusive thoughts of me killing myself, even though I have no desire to, and this scares me a lot as well. I used to occasionally get these thoughts in chunks like maybe for 2 weeks and then I wouldn't for another few weeks, but they have gotten worse and more frequent this past semester. They are still not bad enough to actively effect my daily life and routine, but they definitely come frequently enough to distract me, disrupt what I'm doing and make me take a break, and it has dramatically effected my mood and mental state lately. Do you guys recommend any ways to deal with this, is this really severe enough to even call OCD? Would love to hear, thanks! ❤️

hiiii everyone I’m new to this app :) I’m not sure if anything in here is a trigger for others so I just put a trigger warning js in case 😭 Sooo I’m actually not medically diagnosed with ocd, but I’ve had a very very strong feeling that I do for a few years but I haven’t told anyone abt it, bc i feel like it will sound like I’m trying to fake a mental illness for attention or something. Also, I know it’s bad to self diagnose, but my symptoms just sound a lot like ocddddd ans I want to go into therapy and get diagnosed or something bc I’m pretty sure I have ocd and even if I dont, I know what im experiencing is not really normal 😭 Some of my symptoms: Having like very sexually or violent disturbing images or thoughts pop up in my head that won’t go away and I have to like (this is so hard to explain) block it out in my mind over and over Having to repeat things and count things over and over for example I ALWAYS like I mean ALWAYSSSS. have to repeat “thank you God for today please keep us all safe and healthy” in my head especially when I’m anxious. And I don’t have to repeat it just in my mind either I have to like mouth it outttt. It’s so annoyingggg 🥲 My “magic” numbers are 3 and 10 bc I have 3 sisters and 10 is just the perfect number like it’s so equal. So basically I have to do things three times and if I count over three by accident or even think of it I have to count up until 10 and if the same thing happens I have to keep going until I reach 30 NOT 20 bc that means that bc there’s a 2 in the number one of my sisters will die 🥲 And if I don’t do any of these stuff that my brain tells me to do, you know that feeling when you have a huge itch and it’s itching super bad but you can’t scratch it?? It feels exactly like thatttt and I think that if I don’t do it smth bad will happen even though I know it won’t but like just in case I guess?? 😭😭 When I decide to try to go against these stuff it makes me super super anxious and sometimes, I have random like “attacks” where just nothing is perfect or just right but I can’t fix any of it no matter how many times I count, repeat, or cross it out in my mind, I get so much anxiety and it’s the WORSTTT. I’m not asking for a random person to diagnose me instead of a professional, but I just need advice. Thank you guys 💗 (edited)