My town is doing Mandatory waer meter replacements. Where I live water meters are in the basement of the house. We are entering a second wave of covid and I'm going to have to allow two strangers into my house, who have also been in every other house in town? With their dirty shoes that have touched every other floor? And breathing on my house after being exposed to everyone else?? No. No. No. No. I haven't even let my mother and father in my house. What the hell am I supposed to do? This will break me for sure.

I have a dilemma. You might’ve seen my previous posts about me babysitting a kid that isn’t mine. Trigger warning for POCD It started off small. One night I helped him change into PJs Then I had him for a whole week, a lot of changing and bath time. And also the kid is terrified of sleeping alone and needs someone RIGHT NEXT TO HIM which is REALLY HORRIBLE for me During this week I was having hella intrusive thoughts and eventually had a complete melt down (while the kids were at school) This is my only income at the moment, from this family who hires me to tutor the kids and occasionally babysit. I used to tutor a lot more kids but I reduced my hours because of intrusive thoughts I agreed to babysit for two weeks while the parents go on vacation in April. I’m already having a shit ton of anxiety about it. I tried looking for a therapist but I’m having no luck finding someone who accepts my insurance. I’ve also stopped taking my meds because they made me suicidal. My access to mental health professionals right now is limited so I can’t really go talk to a professional about this situation. My best friend is strongly urging me to tell them I will not be able to babysit in April. Even if it’s last minute because of how bad my anxiety got just that one week before and because I’m already dreading it. I know this is good exposure but probably not the best idea since I don’t have a professional guiding me. I don’t even know what to tell the parents about why I suddenly can’t babysit if we’ve had this agreement for months. I’m not looking for reassurance or advice on how to deal with the thoughts. What would you do though? If you were me and your anxiety is through the roof and your meds are fucked and no one takes your insurance and you’ll be stuck babysitting a little boy for two weeks (helping him change and bathe and sleep in the same bed) like I can’t... How would I even explain this to anyone?

Is anyone else starting to regret treatment? I had moderate contamination OCD gr hat I had JUST gotten a handle on, and now because of COVID-19 I feel like the world suddenly expects me to act...exactly the way I was, and I KNOW the difference, but I’ve been guilted out of purell as part of “treatment” and now we actually need it I don’t have any and feel guilt buying it. I’m just really starting to wish I’d never gotten help ?

Hi guys. My state is pretty much locked down due to the corona virus stuff. My daughter’s school is canceled and it’s just the two of us stuck at home. But I’m worried. I’m so worried that we could have it already and not know it. I’m trying so hard not to be freaked out but I am.